I'm 26 - I've never been fit in my life...

MDCT
MDCT Posts: 28
edited September 26 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi Everyone,

I'm really worried and obsess over the fact that I might never look "normal" when I lose weight. I always thought I was fat throughout my childhood and it really got to me during my teens to the point of me just eating and eating until I was satisfied. My teenage weight shot all the way up to 300 pounds! I got stretch marks everywhere in my early teens but they've since faded. Weight gain, stretch marks, acne... It seems like there was so much coming down on me as a teenage boy.

In 2003, at the age of 18, I lost about 30 pounds in a month on the Atkins Diet. A couple months later I stopped following the diet when I started working a labor intensive job at a retail store. It kept my weight down, pushed it down even further to about 255 pounds, even though I started eating whatever I wanted again. I really wish I would kept that job and knew what I know now about health and my weight.

I quit the retail job a few months later and started working in a call center in 2004, a local food delivery call center nonetheless. With my discount I always used to order their food and pick it up during lunch. I gained over 25 pounds working there!

In the same year I started the call center job I had a little problem with something that I won't mention here and after that I really went into depression and started eating a lot, all the time. Food was my escape. I didn't realize what I was doing to my body at all and always convinced myself I felt normal and was a skinny person.

In 2005 I went past 300 pounds and still didn't think anything of it, but deep down inside it was torture. It stopped me from doing a lot of things, enjoying life, and really made me uncomfortable. What was worse is that people would always tell me that I didn't look like what I weight. I consistently got estimations of 220-230 pounds. People would say they thought I didn't weight as much as I did because I was tall at 6'2".

In 2006 I hit 320 pounds and finally realized where I was heading. I don't remember what I did but I got my weight down to 300 pounds and stayed there for a couple years. It might have something to do with a book called "The Abs Diet" that I bought this year.

Fast forward a couple years later, in 2008 I lost about 20 more pounds and then gained 10 pounds back. I ultimately got down to 290 pounds and it stayed steady with my usual unhealthy eating habits.

Later in 2008 I got food poisoning which literally stopped my appetite dead in its tracks. I still didn't eat healthy and I could only stomach as much food as a small french fry for 2 weeks. I lost 10 more pounds in 2008 because of this, and then somewhat followed The Abs Diet and workouts to get down to about 275 pounds. I hovered between 275 and 280 pounds.

In 2009 I got really depressed and was unsure about certain things. The worrying caused my weight to ultimately drop down even more to 270 pounds. I started walking a lot that summer to ease my stress. I walked about 4 miles every single night that summer until it got unbearably cold. I didn't lose much weight though because of my eating habits.

Throughout these years I have exercised and eaten sporadically. Most of the time I was sedentary and eating only junk food and fast food though, but I've managed to lose 50 pounds.

Last fall, after another summer full of walking, I found out about MyFitnessPal from a good friend that was using it to keep track of her calories and lose a little bit of weight. It turned on a lightbulb in my head. I thought to myself that this might just be my ticket out of a life full of embarrassment and misery.

I didn't really change my diet much and started following the calorie and exercise guidelines in August of last year (2010). It took a little while but I started seeing results and that made me happy that something so simple was holding me accountable, something that everybody around me has failed to do.

In October I believe I hit 255 pounds, the lowest weight I've ever been in my adult life. I was so happy and could actually tell that everything was shrinking, even my waistline.

In November I got down to 246 pounds! This was awesome but something would abruptly change and I just started eating a lot more food. I was still keeping track of all my calories though, but wasn't exercising because of the winter and I wanted to be outside in warm weather.

In January I hit 260 pounds again and basically stayed steady, eating whatever I wanted, until this month (April). I decided to challenge myself and greatly reduce my calories and increase my exercise. I started doing some aerobic workouts indoors when it was still cold, in addition to taking my daily walks when it started getting warm this month.

I hit 251 pounds early last week but it went up a couple pounds due to sodium and water retention I believe. I really went off the deep end during Easter Dinner and just stuffed myself. I believe over all I had a 2000 calorie surplus throughout the day. I'm back on track today though and I don't want to stop.

Yesterday I got access to a body fat scale and it told me I was 253.6 pounds with about 28% body fat. I looked up "normal body fat" online and it said athletic would be 18% or less, so 18% body fat is my goal right now. I believe I would have to weigh 220 pounds to achieve that.

After I hit 220 I really want to start lifting weights and eating properly. That's what I believe I need to do to look good.

I'm really worried about loose skin, even though I don't believe I have any right now after losing about 70 pounds slowly over the years. But my body looks "haggard" and just doesn't look right. My chest seems to be "sagging", and sometimes I think I will look weird with real pecks or muscles and it just wouldn't be "proportionate".

Again, I've never been fit in my life, so I don't know what to expect. I want that body with the muscles that you see in the magazines. I want to feel comfortable in my own body.

Do I have anything that I should worry about? Are there any proactive measures that I can take to ensure that I ideally form my body? Will everything just start falling into place?

Any help and support would be much appreciated!

Replies

  • RTricia
    RTricia Posts: 720
    self-awareness is an awesome thing. You just put all that in print, and that tells me you are going to lose weight for good.

    Don't worry about the sagging skin right now, your main thing is to be healthy - heart, body, mind and soul.

    You've come a long way and you're almost there!!!

    YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
  • WifeMomDVM
    WifeMomDVM Posts: 1,025 Member
    Wow! You've really been through it all sounds like! Congrats for taking control of your life and joining MFP and holding yourself accountable.

    Hey, we all have bad days, glad to hear you own it and are going to get back on track. Don't look too far ahead - just one day at a time. Make every day your best day!

    I can't tell you what your skin will or will not do, but the inside of your body will be so much better off if you stick with this healthy eating and exercise for LIFE! Skin does have some ability to shrink but if you find that you have pounds of saggy skin after you reach your ideal size, consult a plastic surgeon - there's no shame in that. We all have a desire to feel normal and you should not be ashamed if you need a little help. If anything, that skin says 'HEY EVERYONE! LOOK WHAT I DID! I USED TO BE UNHEALTHY BUT I TOOK CONTROL OF MY LIFE AND DID IT! I'M HEALTHY NOW!!!!"

    See? But again, if it bothers you, no shame in having it removed (if that turns out to be the case).

    Lastly, I noticed you said "When I reach X pounds I want to start strength training..."

    Buddy, start NOW. There are benefits to starting strength training right now! Don't wait for you to hit, such and such a goal weight. Muscles are your friends. They will make you feel better, look better, and they burn through FAT like crazy. So get lifting!

    Need a guide? Check out a book called, "The New Rules of Weight Lifting for Men" by Lou Schuler. I'm doing the women's version of the book and it is awesome. I was a strength training newbie and it easily and clearly laid out everything for a virgin weight lifter to do. I'm lifting with confidence and am seeing amazing results after completing 4 weeks (I started week 5 yesterday). The book is a quick, easy read. It's about $10 on Amazon but you can probably find it at your local BN or BAM.

    Again, congrats on your progress thus far and keep your eye on the prize - keep picturing those goals you want and know that you've got the rest of your life to get it right, so what have you got to lose? Take it just one teensy day at a time and always do your best.

    Here's an 8 week transition diet that really helped me kick the cheeseburger and pizza habit and switch to natural, clean eating (though I'm still very far from perfect).

    http://www.extremely-fit.com/fitness-tips/2011/01/8week-transition-diet/

    Best of luck and NEVER give up!
  • cjwolfjen
    cjwolfjen Posts: 323 Member
    Just keep going. Don't worry about what you might look like thin, because at least you'll be healthy. And trust me you will feel better about yourself for being so thin and healthy, even if you have a few flaws from all the weight loss. That is to be expected and can be corrected with serious tightening exercises and strength and toning. Plus, people tend to like thinner and healthier people (even if they have flaws) more than they do a less flawed overweight person. Do you know what I mean? So I think even you, will like your slightly flawed thin self more than you would your less flawed heavy self. I hope I made sense here.... lol
  • amaried621
    amaried621 Posts: 260 Member
    Please don't take this the wrong way - but I didn't read your whole post. I understand the jist of what you were saying though. This is really about beginning a lifestyle change. You don't want to just diet because then you will just have this sick cycle of losing weight, gaining weight. losing weight, yadda yadda. It's all about realizing what and how much you are eating. You may not ever look like the people in the magazines, or you might, but it's all about being happy with yourself and being dedicated to a change. This website and the people have been wonderful and so inspirational. It's amazing the support you find from people that you don't know but who are going through the same thing you are. Utilize the people on here and all of the tools and I assure you that you will be happy with the results you see.
  • noltes2
    noltes2 Posts: 202 Member
    Dang you sound like alot of the people on here, weight going up and down their whole lives. My Fitness Pal is a tool to help us properly see the calories in vs. calories out. It gives us a self awareness many of us never had before on all those diets. The beauty of it is that it is NOT all or nothing! No food is off limits and it's about moderation. This sounds like a perfect fit for you as you have been through the wringer. If you follow your calorie deficit for a 1-2 pound per week loss, you really shouldn't worry about too much loose skin. Especially at the age of 26, and if you focus on strength training to keep everything tight. If you lose 5 pounds a week you may need to worry about loose skin, but keep at it slow and steady and you might be pleasantly surprised. Besides, would you rather be obese or have a little loose skin? Week by week you will see results and don't expect your body to look like a fitness model in a short time. Make goals every week and focus on that rather than the number on the scale. It sounds like you are doing the right thing and fighting for some balance. Keep at it day by day and you can do this!
  • Woodman725
    Woodman725 Posts: 288 Member

    Lastly, I noticed you said "When I reach X pounds I want to start strength training..."

    Buddy, start NOW. There are benefits to starting strength training right now! Don't wait for you to hit, such and such a goal weight. Muscles are your friends. They will make you feel better, look better, and they burn through FAT like crazy. So get lifting!

    Need a guide? Check out a book called, "The New Rules of Weight Lifting for Men" by Lou Schuler. I'm doing the women's version of the book and it is awesome. I was a strength training newbie and it easily and clearly laid out everything for a virgin weight lifter to do. I'm lifting with confidence and am seeing amazing results after completing 4 weeks (I started week 5 yesterday). The book is a quick, easy read. It's about $10 on Amazon but you can probably find it at your local BN or BAM.

    Again, congrats on your progress thus far and keep your eye on the prize - keep picturing those goals you want and know that you've got the rest of your life to get it right, so what have you got to lose? Take it just one teensy day at a time and always do your best.

    Here's an 8 week transition diet that really helped me kick the cheeseburger and pizza habit and switch to natural, clean eating (though I'm still very far from perfect).

    http://www.extremely-fit.com/fitness-tips/2011/01/8week-transition-diet/

    Best of luck and NEVER give up!

    I can't vouch for the book or link, but I have to agree here. I was thinking the same thing about lifting weights. Even if you just start small and multiple sets of short reps. You will feel SO much better!!!! I wish you the best of luck, this site is AMAZING and has so many wonderful supportive people that have been through similar things. There are also people that will hold you accountable too and not just tell you "good job, you'll do better tomorrow". It's really what you want it to be, so get out there and make some good MFP friends. Good luck with all your goals, you can do it!

    Feel free to add me if you like.
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