NON MFP RANT

awelch79

NON MFP VENT! I am a SAHM to 2 wonderful munchkins. My hubs works 16 hour days & isnt around a lot to help with the kiddos (but does when he is here). My mom passed away 4 years ago this summer and I do not have a lot of family to help out with the exception of my grandmothers who are both in their 70s. My moms mom is incredible, but its getting harder for her to keep up with 2 toddlers (and currently has possible pneumonia). Anyway-tomorrow is my birthday. My dads mom offered over two weeks ago to watch the kids so I could get out and do something with some friends during the day. She even offered to pay for it as my gift. (I usually use lack of funds for the reason I cant just "get out" everytime she offers, but its strictly an excuse bc Im afraid to rely on her...more on that coming). So I fell for it, AGAIN, and made plans to see a movie and have lunch with a friend I havent seen in years and then shop in the afternoon (for clothes that fit thanks to MFP!). To make a long story short, AGAIN, I MUST BREAK THE PLANS I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO because my 70 year old grandmother has been drunk for 5 days straight since my grandfather left for a golf trip with my dad! Today she called to say she was taking the phone off the hook bc she was up "sneezing" all night. Translation: You guys keep calling to check on me, Im drunk and cant talk, but I know if I dont answer you will come over to check on me. I know y'all are so nice and will say, "Maybe shes really sick." And my answer to that is that she missed Christmas with our family this year, admittedly because she had been on a binder since Tuesday (Christmas Eve was Friday this year.) So thanks to my drunk grandmother, I will be spending another day in SAHM paradise tomorrow. I totally ADORE my kids, but I was really looking forward to the break. Thanks for reading such a long rant....

crystal10584

boo! ever thought about a mother's day out or daycare once or twice a week to help you keep your sanity and social life in tact?

awelch79

My oldest (4) goes to preschool 2 hours a day-3 days a week and thats when I get in my workouts (theres a FunZone at the gym for my youngest) and grocery shopping...it is a huge help.

kriswigg

I agree with you, that sucks. It's tough to be a SAHM, we need breaks with grown-up conversation, too! Is there another mom that maybe you could trade babysitting with, so you could get out more often? I've been in the same boat, since my hubby works nights and isn't around as much, either. Anyway, have a happy birthday and enjoy the fact that you are doing so well with your goals.

jessimacar

if money isn't an issue, hire a babysitter.. then go enjoy your birthday!!

momontherun92

Do you have any girlfriends or church group friends that you could swap with? What about moms of kids in your child's preschool class? I would think that other moms in your same stage of life would love to set up an "I'll watch yours, then you watch mine" deal at least once a month. Or hire a babysitter, and go get some time to yourself!! I have 5 kids, but the oldest 3 are now teenagers, and the youngest are 10 & 6, so I have live-in sitters now. (heaven) But I have been where you are, and I do feel your pain and frustration. You wouldn't trade being a SAHM for anything, but sometimes you need some time for yourself!

EDesq

NON MFP VENT! I am a SAHM to 2 wonderful munchkins. My hubs works 16 hour days & isnt around a lot to help with the kiddos (but does when he is here). My mom passed away 4 years ago this summer and I do not have a lot of family to help out with the exception of my grandmothers who are both in their 70s. My moms mom is incredible, but its getting harder for her to keep up with 2 toddlers (and currently has possible pneumonia). Anyway-tomorrow is my birthday. My dads mom offered over two weeks ago to watch the kids so I could get out and do something with some friends during the day. She even offered to pay for it as my gift. (I usually use lack of funds for the reason I cant just "get out" everytime she offers, but its strictly an excuse bc Im afraid to rely on her...more on that coming). So I fell for it, AGAIN, and made plans to see a movie and have lunch with a friend I havent seen in years and then shop in the afternoon (for clothes that fit thanks to MFP!). To make a long story short, AGAIN, I MUST BREAK THE PLANS I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO because my 70 year old grandmother has been drunk for 5 days straight since my grandfather left for a golf trip with my dad! Today she called to say she was taking the phone off the hook bc she was up "sneezing" all night. Translation: You guys keep calling to check on me, Im drunk and cant talk, but I know if I dont answer you will come over to check on me. I know y'all are so nice and will say, "Maybe shes really sick." And my answer to that is that she missed Christmas with our family this year, admittedly because she had been on a binder since Tuesday (Christmas Eve was Friday this year.) So thanks to my drunk grandmother, I will be spending another day in SAHM paradise tomorrow. I totally ADORE my kids, but I was really looking forward to the break. Thanks for reading such a long rant....

LMAO! Sorry, but that was my initial reaction to a drunken grandma. Yea, you probably knew deep down that she would let you down again...drunks/lushes/alcoholics/heavy drinkers, whatever you call them, at any age are disappointments and everyone around them know that they will break a promise. I wish you the best and hope someone else comes along that will give you a "day out" birthday gift, even if it is belated.

Painten

I wont go into details but i really know how you feel. For the last year my OH has been off work due to illness but before that he did ridiculously long hours often going out before the kids were up and getting back after they were in bed with the odd night in hotels through work. I didn't have anyone to help me out either. My mother would promise she'd help me so i could get out but she'd always cancel. I'd feel so frustrated. I simply got my children in day care a couple of afternoons a week so i could have a break. It was the most i could afford but even just that time without them stopped me going insane. I do love them but having so much time with just them and no way to get a minute just not doing kiddy things is something people really need.

I'd strongly reccomend looking round the local nurseries/daycare centres/whatever it is you call them where you are and get your lo's booked in even for an afternoon a week.

Tzavush

Although I cannot relate to being let down by an alcoholic MIL, I can relate to having plans totally screwed up over "babysitting issues".
I clearly empathize with your situation, and would have readily assisted with child care options, but alas I live in Ontario Canada and think the travel might be out of the question.
Are there any highschool/college students in your area who might be able to watch the kids for a few hours so you can at least get a break?
Maybe another SAHM who you live near who might be interested in trading a day so there is no cost? (ie. she watches yours tomorrow and you can take hers another day? (obviously this means knowing someone well enough to trust them with your kids...)

Happy Birthday!!!
I'm truly sorry that some people are jerks!!

Xandi

I would loan you my mother if I could!

awelch79

Thanks for the advice everyone. I ended up bribing my kids with a toy if they were good and went to Kohls for some clothes that fit! They actually behaved and I got some good stuff...

My aunt (drunk grandmas daughter who knows the disappointment all too well) offered to come over the day after so I could see the movie my friends and I had planned on seeing. They were working, but I decided I would do something I have never done before and went to a movie alone. It was quite liberating! I saw Water for Elephants and HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!

On another note, I have decided to look into putting my son into "preschool" for the same 2 hours, 3 days a week that my daughter goes....dont know if we can do it since he is still in diapers, but you have convinced me to try! I actually dont know any other SAHM in my area, but I am co-sponsoring a MOPS group in my church starting in August and now Ill bring up that kind of idea when we start!

Thanks again! You guys are great! :drinker: :flowerforyou: