Make me laugh, PLEASE
stressd1mom
Posts: 151 Member
So I am really just having a sad, bluesy, down-in-the-dumps kind of day. All because of nothing & everything all at the same time. So it's a free for all, make me laugh! Got a funny joke or story? I'm all ears.
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Replies
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Just look at my pic.0
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Posted this yesterday...hopefully it helps.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/227673-12-uncomfortably-naughty-company-logos0 -
Just look at my pic.
so true..... thanks, you even cheered me up and I'm not even blue. lmao0 -
Posted this yesterday...hopefully it helps.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/227673-12-uncomfortably-naughty-company-logos
nice....0 -
Don't frel blue! You look much better in pink.
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Was blue....now I'm GREEN!!! Thanks ha ha !!Just look at my pic.0 -
lol!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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Jokes jokes jokes...JOKES!!!!!
A bus driver was getting stressed out by his passengers refusing to read the destination of his bus. The first customer gets on and asked, "Is this the bus to Bangor?" The bus driver says yes. The 2nd one asks if this the bus to Bangor. Bus driver says, "Yes, this is the bus to Bangor." The 3rd passenger asks, "Is this the bus to Bangor?" The driver says, "YES THIS IS THE BUS TO BANGOR!" The 4th passenger asks, "Is this the bus to Bangor?" The driver says. "NO! IT'S THE QUEEN MARY AND IT'S HEADED FOR ENGLAND."
A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He gets a bit carried away and talks for two hours. Finally, he realizes what he is doing and says, "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home." A voice from the back of the room says, "There's a calendar behind you."
George arrives at the gates to heaven and is greeted by St. Peter. "You have to answer one question before we let you in. Where was Christ born?" "Philadelphia?" responds George. "No," says St. Peter. "Wrong answer. We won't be able to let you into heaven." "Wait!" says George, "Give me one more chance! Please!" St. Peter agrees and George says, "Pittsburgh". "No," says St Peter. "Wrong answer again. Christ was born in Bethlehem." "I knew it was somewhere in Pennsylvania," says George sadly.
I dont get the last one but figured someone might find it funny :happy:0 -
Just look at my pic.
hillarious0 -
search for the funny pic's thread (sorry, don't know how to put the link in here). You will be crying at some of the pictures because you are laughing so hard. Hope these help (and I LOVE damnyouautocorrect.com!!) and you feel better soon.0
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OK, here's a joke:
3 guys walk into a bar...
The 4th guy ducks
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Jokes jokes jokes...JOKES!!!!!
A bus driver was getting stressed out by his passengers refusing to read the destination of his bus. The first customer gets on and asked, "Is this the bus to Bangor?" The bus driver says yes. The 2nd one asks if this the bus to Bangor. Bus driver says, "Yes, this is the bus to Bangor." The 3rd passenger asks, "Is this the bus to Bangor?" The driver says, "YES THIS IS THE BUS TO BANGOR!" The 4th passenger asks, "Is this the bus to Bangor?" The driver says. "NO! IT'S THE QUEEN MARY AND IT'S HEADED FOR ENGLAND."
A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He gets a bit carried away and talks for two hours. Finally, he realizes what he is doing and says, "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home." A voice from the back of the room says, "There's a calendar behind you."
George arrives at the gates to heaven and is greeted by St. Peter. "You have to answer one question before we let you in. Where was Christ born?" "Philadelphia?" responds George. "No," says St. Peter. "Wrong answer. We won't be able to let you into heaven." "Wait!" says George, "Give me one more chance! Please!" St. Peter agrees and George says, "Pittsburgh". "No," says St Peter. "Wrong answer again. Christ was born in Bethlehem." "I knew it was somewhere in Pennsylvania," says George sadly.
I dont get the last one but figured someone might find it funny :happy:
Because all those cities including Bethlehem are cities in Penn. Another words, there is also a city in Pennsylvania named Bethlehem0 -
3 dogs are sitting in the vet's waiting room: a Lab, a Poodle and a Shepherd. After a few minutes of silence, the Poodle looks over at the Lab and says "Hey. Watcha in for?"
Lab: "I'm a runner."
Poodle: "Huh?"
Lab: "I'm a runner. Every time the door opens I take off running. Last time I was gone for 3 days, so here I am."
Poodle: "Dude."
A few seconds go by.
Poodle: "Watcha think they're gonna do to you?"
Lab: "Prozac."
Poodle: Yeah, probably."
After a couple of minutes the Lab looks back at the Poodle and asks "What about you?"
Poodle: "I'm a pee-er."
Lab: "A what?!"
Poodle: "Im a pee-er. I get really nervous when I hear loud noises and I pee wherever I am. Yesterday it was when I was laying on the Master's bed."
Lab: "Dude."
A few more seconds pass.
Lab: "Watcha think they're gonna do to you?"
Poodle: "Probably Prozac."
Lab: "Yeah."
Some very long minutes go by. The Poodle and the Lab keep looking at each other, each not wanting to ask the Shepherd. But finally...
Lab: "Hey, you! What're you here for?"
Shepherd: "I'm a humper."
Poodle: "A what?!!"
Shepherd: "I'm a humper. I like to hump. Stuffed animals, couch pillow, leg of a guest. It's all good."
Lab: "Ok, but why are you here? What'd you do?"
Shepherd: "Well, last night the Master's wife was getting out of the shower. She dropped her towel and bent over to pick it up. I saw my opening and I took it."
Poodle/Lab (in unison): "DUUUUUUUDE!"
Several agonizing seconds go by.
Poodle: "So what're you thinking? Prozac?"
Shepherd: "Nah. I'm here to get my nails clipped."0 -
awesome!!0 -
Jokes jokes jokes...JOKES!!!!!
A bus driver was getting stressed out by his passengers refusing to read the destination of his bus. The first customer gets on and asked, "Is this the bus to Bangor?" The bus driver says yes. The 2nd one asks if this the bus to Bangor. Bus driver says, "Yes, this is the bus to Bangor." The 3rd passenger asks, "Is this the bus to Bangor?" The driver says, "YES THIS IS THE BUS TO BANGOR!" The 4th passenger asks, "Is this the bus to Bangor?" The driver says. "NO! IT'S THE QUEEN MARY AND IT'S HEADED FOR ENGLAND."
A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He gets a bit carried away and talks for two hours. Finally, he realizes what he is doing and says, "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home." A voice from the back of the room says, "There's a calendar behind you."
George arrives at the gates to heaven and is greeted by St. Peter. "You have to answer one question before we let you in. Where was Christ born?" "Philadelphia?" responds George. "No," says St. Peter. "Wrong answer. We won't be able to let you into heaven." "Wait!" says George, "Give me one more chance! Please!" St. Peter agrees and George says, "Pittsburgh". "No," says St Peter. "Wrong answer again. Christ was born in Bethlehem." "I knew it was somewhere in Pennsylvania," says George sadly.
I dont get the last one but figured someone might find it funny :happy:
Because all those cities including Bethlehem are cities in Penn. Another words, there is also a city in Pennsylvania named Bethlehem
Wow....im slow............0 -
What has 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard :laugh:0 -
Thanks everyone for the pick-me-ups.0
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www.manbabies.com & www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com
pretty self-explanatory0 -
George arrives at the gates to heaven and is greeted by St. Peter. "You have to answer one question before we let you in. Where was Christ born?" "Philadelphia?" responds George. "No," says St. Peter. "Wrong answer. We won't be able to let you into heaven." "Wait!" says George, "Give me one more chance! Please!" St. Peter agrees and George says, "Pittsburgh". "No," says St Peter. "Wrong answer again. Christ was born in Bethlehem." "I knew it was somewhere in Pennsylvania," says George sadly.
I dont get the last one but figured someone might find it funny :happy:
Bethlehem is a small town North and West of Philly, East of Pittsburgh....I lived 45mins South if Bethlehem ........its a funny joke...but you do need to be from Pa to understand it.0 -
3 dogs are sitting in the vet's waiting room: a Lab, a Poodle and a Shepherd. After a few minutes of silence, the Poodle looks over at the Lab and says "Hey. Watcha in for?"
Lab: "I'm a runner."
Poodle: "Huh?"
Lab: "I'm a runner. Every time the door opens I take off running. Last time I was gone for 3 days, so here I am."
Poodle: "Dude."
A few seconds go by.
Poodle: "Watcha think they're gonna do to you?"
Lab: "Prozac."
Poodle: Yeah, probably."
After a couple of minutes the Lab looks back at the Poodle and asks "What about you?"
Poodle: "I'm a pee-er."
Lab: "A what?!"
Poodle: "Im a pee-er. I get really nervous when I hear loud noises and I pee wherever I am. Yesterday it was when I was laying on the Master's bed."
Lab: "Dude."
A few more seconds pass.
Lab: "Watcha think they're gonna do to you?"
Poodle: "Probably Prozac."
Lab: "Yeah."
Some very long minutes go by. The Poodle and the Lab keep looking at each other, each not wanting to ask the Shepherd. But finally...
Lab: "Hey, you! What're you here for?"
Shepherd: "I'm a humper."
Poodle: "A what?!!"
Shepherd: "I'm a humper. I like to hump. Stuffed animals, couch pillow, leg of a guest. It's all good."
Lab: "Ok, but why are you here? What'd you do?"
Shepherd: "Well, last night the Master's wife was getting out of the shower. She dropped her towel and bent over to pick it up. I saw my opening and I took it."
Poodle/Lab (in unison): "DUUUUUUUDE!"
Several agonizing seconds go by.
Poodle: "So what're you thinking? Prozac?"
Shepherd: "Nah. I'm here to get my nails clipped."
ROFLMAO! That is hilarious :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
www.manbabies.com
those are just plain wrong! lol.0 -
What has 9 arms and sucks?
You are so bad
Def Leppard :laugh:0
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