theraphy through self disclosure

mawiechel

I haven't been true to myself the last two weeks and I thought it may be therapeutic to share my story . I have had two blows to my motivation. I broke my back when I was 12 while riding one of my horses. We didn't have health insurance so "I walked it off" several years later I experienced what I now know is a herniated disc in my back. I had x-rays completed at 18 and was told that there was nothing that could be done for my back. I started to see a chiropractor, which just made things worse. I then started to get massages which gave me some relief. I went through many doctors and many years of pain and not really knowing what was wrong with me and why I was always hurting. Finally at the age of 27 I got insurance and finally found a doctor that would listen to me and didn't make me feel like a drug seeker. My doctor sent me in for a MRI and we finally had our answer Degenerative Disc Disease on multiple levels. My doctor said it was pretty bad in my lower back. My back experiences general pain on a daily bases but I don't let it get me down. I love working with my horses, hiking, photography, basically anything that gets me outside. At least once a year or so I experience herniated disc and nerve pain at this time my World crashes around me. The pain has been so intense I feel nauseous. Today is day 3 of being down and out, I can't stand for long periods of time, I can barely walk, and I can't sleep. It is so frustrating! The pain affects my ability to exercise. I strictly do low impact exercises. I walk, do belly dancing, ride my gaited horse which movement is very smooth and does not affect my back or shoulders.

I am an optimist by nature I know another couple days I will be back to my active self enjoying the outdoors, riding my horse, planning a camping trip. Now all I can do is nurse myself back to health and cautiously begin to get back to working out. But for now I will brace myself when I sneeze, make sound effects with every movement, and laugh at myself as I hobble my way around the house..