Epic Fail.

beccafreak

So I screwed up. So far in my journey I have lost 60 pounds and 6 pant sizes only to have lost all motivation and gain 10 pounds and 2 pant sizes back. I have had a garbage truck full of stress lately and the closer to the anniversary of my father's death we come, the more depressed I get. I do a lot of binge and stress eating and am hoping there are others out there who have had the same issue and/or any tips of advice? I am signing back up for the gym tomorrow and going to be getting my butt back on gear. I am so upset that I came so far only to backslide this badly....

kellicarter11

Just don't give up! You can do it, just shrug it off and keep going, to help with the emotion try talking it out instead of eating. Good luck

fteale

You just have to get back on the bandwagon. No one else can do it for you. Stress is a b*gg*r for making you lose motivation. I know, I have had a truly awful last month, I don't mean a bit of work stress, I mean major life changingly awful stuff, and it sounds like that's what's making you eat. But if you want to lose the weight, you have to find a way to get past it. I find going for a run when I feel really down can help. Find something else to distract you when you feel the need to binge.

I hope you find something that works for you soon.

FatUncleRob

It's just a set-back! You can do it!

Hopefully exercise can help beat depressing feelings.. :flowerforyou:

LiL_MisS_C

That is certainly NO epic FAIL! You have come this far....and a lot of people haven't done that! Don't beat yourself up! We are only human! Just get back on the healthy lifestyle train....there's a seat next to me, girl. xo

losermomof3

I understand that your upset with yourself. I get upset too. All you can do it get back on and fight a little harder. Signing up with the gym is a good start. You can do it!!!!

andreahanlon

Is there someone in your life who could be a support buddy? Could you sign up for some kind of accountability program, like Weight Watchers? Are there any classes at the local hospital or a college where you could learn about other stress-reduction techniques? Don't go back -- don't give up on yourself!!! Instead, give yourself an intervention.

I've learned through college psychology courses and through working in a behavioral management field that sometimes changing our environment can have drastic effects on our actions. Hang up motivational quotes or photos of what you want to look like (or past photos of what you DON'T want to look like). Don't keep high calorie foods around your house to binge on. That way if you do binge, the damage won't be so depressing.

Another thing you can do is reset your motivation. Why do you want to lose weight? Why don't you want to gain weight back? Sit down and actually write out a list and review it every morning, or read your reasons several times a day if you can. Where the mind goes, the body follows. Don't give up on yourself! You're worth it. You're worthy of being healthy and fit. Hang in there.

Mommawarrior

Yesterday is over, today is a new day. Don't dwell on your bad choices, dwell on making good ones. Don't give up, get up and move. Exercise does wonders for stress. I am sorry about your dad.

jennywrens

you lost 60lbs - that is sensational - and in the grand scheme of things putting 10lbs back on is no big deal!

Don't let your gain depress you in to putting even more back on! 10lbs is lost in a number of weeks ..... if you let yourself start thinking "oh, I've put 10lbs back on, I'm a failure" then you're likely to gain more and that would take longer to shake off!

Good luck, you've done it once, doing it again is easy peasy )

FL_Nettie

I think the fact that you haven't completely given up means that this isn't an Epic Fail. Don't beat yourself up too much, we all have times of weakness. The important thing is what you do from here forward. Get back to working out and watching what you eat. Hitting the gym may help fend off the depression. If you can't get out of your depression, maybe you can talk to someone (a family member, friend or counselor). I wish you the best and KEEP GOING!!!!! :flowerforyou:

kkellam1

I agree...it's not a fail! It's just a speedbump that you can and will get over. Sounds like your father was very important to you. Spend a little time thinking what he would want for you and set out to honor that memory. I have a feeling that he 1) would not want for you to spend your time down and depressed, rather he would want for you to remember him in a positive way and go live a fulfilling and happy life, and 2) he would want you to be the healthiest person that you can be, so that you would have a long and enjoyable life. As a father, I can guarantee you that he would not want you feeling down and miserable.

What helps me stay on track is visualizing the end result. I can picture how I am going to feel and how it's going to impact my life and I try to keep that in my head. It's kind of like the carrot on the stick, but by focusing on the goal it's easier for me to remember why I am doing this.

Good luck! You can make it past this!

Allivall

I can definitely understand the depression. The 2nd anniversary of my father's death is coming on on May 10th. What has helped me is getting out in nature...taking walks (even with sunglasses on to hide the puffy eyes and tears). I've lost nearly the same amount in the past year and a half (55 pounds) and I know how proud he would be to see me healthy, I'm sure your father would feel the same and he would want to see you happy and living your life to the fullest. Take care of yourself, don't get down about this slip up and allow yourself to grieve but try not to let the grief and stress take over! Message me if you need anything!

iamhealingmyself

The best quote I ever heard "CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE!"
It's true - it all starts with what you're thinking and telling yourself.
Stop the negative self talk and delete all those hate tapes you play when you don't live up to your own standards.
Stop striving for perfection and start committing to giving each day or each meal even your 100% best efforts no matter what.

Start making a list of your triggers and what you can do to intervene when they surface:
death ---> write, walk, talk, cry, meditate, look at photos, etc.
anger---> walk or do some other cardio activity preferably away from your house, do some strength training or boxing (especially if your anger is directed towards someone)
sadness--> write, talk, sit somewhere calming for you (such as near waterfall, stream, fountain or in a quiet meadow or park bench) give yourself time to acknowledge everything you're feeling but turn off that self critic while feeling it. Just FEEL IT.

This kind of thing will help you find a quick way out when your mind isn't thinking clearly. Keep your list with you because you never know when you'll need it. It might help you to seek out a bereavement support group in a local church (or whatever religious affiliation you have) or hospital. This will help you work through the stages of grieving and will give you tools to avoid eating a well. Everyone handles things in their own way but none of us NEEDS TO TURN TO FOOD during these times. It's just what we know and what we're used to doing. It doesn't have to be that way. Start journaling. Keep a notebook with you so you can write anywhere, anytime about anything (and don't edit it - just let it come out). It's a great release and you don't have to be ashamed of whatever you're thinking or feeling or doing in there. It's your personal space, you're own NO JUDGEMENT ZONE.

Start telling yourself the things you'd want to hear if you were saying those things out loud to a friend. What do you want them to tell you? Those are the things you have to tell yourself. I'd be locked up if anyone could ever hear the conversations I have (often with many perspectives at the same time) but I tell you, it's good to start letting that little shrink in all of us come forward and really start guiding us (with all the knowledge we've picked up along the way) when we can't guide ourselves. It's also good to be able to tell that negative side of yourself where to go when it starts kicking you when you're down.

Life will always throw you new twists and turns and challenges just when you think you have everything under control. Old issues will find new ways to surface until you find a way to work through it, deal with it and LET IT GO. I know all of this is easier said than done. It won't come overnight, I'm sorry for that. If I could wish it all away for you, I would. Only you can do these things.

I don't know you (or anyone else here) from Eve, but I do know one thing. We are all so much stronger than we can believe in our own minds. In the midst of everything we feel weak and defeated and frustrated and helpless and that's ok. It really is ok to go through those things. You will get through it and you will pick yourself up again, and again and again and again. It's never the last time unless you quit on yourself.

Pick your battles and be prepared to fight them. Maybe during the period of mourning, it will be better for you to switch to maintenance calories or even 1/2 lb a week and not focus on weight loss, but on your emotional loss. You can still exercise if you want to but it's not required. Do it if it helps you deal with YOU. The only thing you must do is continue to log your foods each day. That one thing alone will keep you in the here and now but not overwhelm you.

You don't have to give up just because life is not cooperating with you right now.
You CAN do THIS!

beccafreak

Thank you all so very much. Reading your replies and advice was so touching and I appreciate every word! In fact I printed this page off and will be using them for motivation. I officially started my diet yesterday and am surprised at how easy it was to hop back on. I am already feeling better physically and emotionally and have a feeling that the main reason I Was feeling down was because of all the junk I was eating. Today I will be starting up my workout videos again (Good old Jillian...LoL) and will also begin taking my nightly walks again. And I will definitely try harder to not be so hard on myself. I have to remember that this is for me and not for everyone else out there. That was what I was doing it for, but then again I tend to always put myself last so it isn't surprising. But for this, it's all about me and I have to keep that in mind. Thank you, thank you all again This is why I love this site more and more, the wonderful support I have ))