what a way to make me feel like *kitten*

Options
2»

Replies

  • NoExcuseTina
    NoExcuseTina Posts: 506 Member
    Options
    not defending your husband...just want to point out that some people (husbands in particular) do not always know how to say things in a supportive way...he may have thought he was helping by telling you not to eat the donut (and if it came out as a yell...well, sometimes I yell and do not even realize I am doing it because it)...like I said not defending, just trying to give a different perspective
  • helenium
    helenium Posts: 546 Member
    Options
    Agree with other people

    Also, just think about that 6 lb gain. To gain 6 lbs of *fat*, you would need to eat 6 x 3500 = 21000 calories. Something tells me the barbecues were not THAT big. It'll fall off soon I'm sure.
  • Zara11
    Zara11 Posts: 1,247 Member
    Options
    Just talk to him about it. We're only getting your side of the story, he could be frustrated with your swinging diet habits. Who knows? I don't. You two do.

    Let's not flip out and rip the guy to pieces...

    edit: glad you guys talked. appeared it was in the tough love category. which, of course, isn't for everyone.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    Options
    He just did that because he knows what it is like living with you when you "Hate" yourself for being overweight/not eating right...Kinda kidding, but there's some truth in there. I know how I am when I am not losing weight or gain weight or overeat...HARD to live with, always asking, "Do I look fat?," "Am I attractive?," "Does this look good on Me?," and endless other stuff... when I am on point I am really EASY to live with! He panicked is all, LOL
  • Goal_Seeker_1988
    Goal_Seeker_1988 Posts: 1,619 Member
    Options
    wow, he must be goin thru "his TOM" men, they are so hard to figure out. Maybe that was just his way of being supportive but @ the same time what a lousy way to help! Once again MEN!
  • TiffanyW1014
    TiffanyW1014 Posts: 614 Member
    Options
    You should be mad!!! He shouldn't make you feel bad for eating...if anything, encourage you to do better....

    How would he feel if he said your not going to the BBQ's etc because your dieting and that he couldn't go either....

    Listen, we know when we F up we don't need someone telling us... I'm sorry and a million hugs to you!!!

    Men can be *kitten* sometimes...


    AGREE 100%!! This happened to me at the begining but I put a stop to it and now he shuts up and lets me do my thing. I eat what I want I just may have to work out a bit harder. Stay strong!!
  • femmerides
    femmerides Posts: 843 Member
    Options
    thanks everyone. i'm just frustrated. how can he yell at me one minute for ALMOST eating 1/4 of a donut and then the next minute buy me a grande soy peppermint mocha???? i ended up dumping it out in the sink because i don't need the empty calories but i didn't want to hurt his feelings by letting him know i dumped it. i know he was trying to fix it but still! lol. i just hate when he does this because it makes me not want to eat...period.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    Options
    Men !! Can't live with 'em.........
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    Options
    Men !! Can't live with 'em.........

    Can't Shoot 'em.
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
    Options
    well- I'm sorry you are having a craptastic day.

    But i did want to tell you that gain isn't all fat- because 3500 calories=1 lb of fat. You had 1,200 calories over your weight loss so at most that could be less than .5 lb of gain. It's probably more likely sodium and actual food weight. It will go back down. Life is for living, not counting calories. You will be back at it in no time.

    Talk to your husband about how his approach to being supportive made you feel. I know if it were my husband he would tell me that he thoguht I wanted him to help me stay on track and that is what he had tried to do. But once I explained how best to support me things started looking up.

    Good luck,.

    Thank goodness for your post! I too overate this weekend, and felt horrible when I weighed in this morning. Glad to hear that some of it is sodium & food weight -- I felt so bad that I had undermined myself.

    In regards to the posters' husband -- try explaining that you don't need him to chatise you when you fall of the wagon -- instead you need him to encourage you to get back on. Helpful words are always welcome; hurtful words only drive us further away from our goals, negate our accomplishments and drive us away from the speaker. You need him to be your cheerleader, not your enforcer.
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
    Options
    Is it possible that he knows first hand what you have already accomplished and he knows that you're on this site trying to keep yourself accountable?

    Is it possible that he doesn't want to hear that you gain 4-10 pounds over night because of the sodium and simple sugars that you took in?

    Is it possible that he lit into you out of love?
  • sweetsarahj
    sweetsarahj Posts: 701 Member
    Options
    I agree you should mention how much it bothered you. And explain WHY. And let him know that as women, we sometimes take criticism and stuff it back down our throats, with food. And then let him know what might have been a better way to express his support. Sometimes men just don't get it, they don't think the way we do.

    And maybe tell him your LBS lost isn't due the BS he is givin' you.

    One of the best things I ever did was explain to my naturally lithe guy, "Look, I know you don't get my food-crazy. I really want you to be supportive of me while I try to do this. And I know you're willing to help. Here's how you can help me: If you see me reaching for crap, ask me if I'd like to go for a walk. That can be our secret code for you're worried I'm about to make a decision I'm going to regret. And if I tell you NO, I don't want to go for a walk, leave it alone."

    Great idea!
  • fatskintslug
    fatskintslug Posts: 2 Member
    Options
    Its my first day on here, and i've never heard of this about sodium and 'food weight' please can someone explain how this works a little more? I'm quite interested, because every time ive dieted in the past i've put on 5lbs as SOON as i've had 1 bad day and this has resulted in me just thinking stuff it, as soon as i eat i gain it all again!

    If there is a good reason for this weight every time i have a binge day, id love to learn more about it, so that i know for future reference. Can salt really make you heavier? Does crappy food really stick to your insides and make you heavier for a couple of days? I always assumed it was just the body clinging on to the fat you eat because its been starved of it?
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    Options
    My husband told me I'd gained 2 lbs in the last week because I was putting squirty cream on 4 strawberries the other day. Yeah, a couple of grams of cream isn't going to make me gain 2 lbs, but thanks.

    I think our family/friends find it hard to strike a balance between being supportive (including active "don't eat that!" support) and being rude.
  • beckyme21
    beckyme21 Posts: 29 Member
    Options
    He's probably only trying to be helpful! I always make my fella promise me to stop me from eating rubbish but as soon as he says something when Im halfway through a pack of biscuits he gets shouted at by me!
  • wiggleroom
    wiggleroom Posts: 322 Member
    Options
    Just talk to him about it. We're only getting your side of the story, he could be frustrated with your swinging diet habits. Who knows? I don't. You two do.

    Let's not flip out and rip the guy to pieces...

    edit: glad you guys talked. appeared it was in the tough love category. which, of course, isn't for everyone.

    Ditto to all of that!

    To many of the other posters ... let's not turn this into a male-bashing session. Some of the meanest things that have ever been said to me were by other women! If/when someone upsets you, call it what it is: a mistake. Not an incurable character flaw or a sign that their entire gender is inferior! =)
  • tammyquinnlmt
    tammyquinnlmt Posts: 680 Member
    Options
    Men !! Can't live with 'em.........

    so you bury them in the back yard and skip out to a Mexican beach somewhere....LOL
  • Zara11
    Zara11 Posts: 1,247 Member
    Options
    Just talk to him about it. We're only getting your side of the story, he could be frustrated with your swinging diet habits. Who knows? I don't. You two do.

    Let's not flip out and rip the guy to pieces...

    edit: glad you guys talked. appeared it was in the tough love category. which, of course, isn't for everyone.

    Ditto to all of that!

    To many of the other posters ... let's not turn this into a male-bashing session. Some of the meanest things that have ever been said to me were by other women! If/when someone upsets you, call it what it is: a mistake. Not an incurable character flaw or a sign that their entire gender is inferior! =)

    Yup.
    I'm a fan of tough love (not all the time, and I make it clear when it's not useful) so unless this is a recurring event with other symptoms of rudeness/verbal slap-downs I generally err on the side of caution.
  • chiccloset777
    chiccloset777 Posts: 34 Member
    Options
    My husband use to say stuff to me...But I wasnt going to put up with it!!! So what if where married.and i dont have a body like i did in my 20's...Im not in my 20's anymore and ive had a kid and its my mouth and i can put whatever i like in it!!! BTW my husband eays like crap all the time and never gains a pound!!
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    Options
    My father does this to me all the time. Go ahead and eat that.. or why don't you just apply it directly to your hips? All I want to do is scream at him that he needs to shut his mouth because he lays around all day, eats junk/ massive portions, and is on all sorts of medicine for blood pressure and cholesterol. I, on the other hand, am on no medication and have a blood pressure that is lower then what is normal for my age.. when I remind him of that factor, he just looks at me because he knows its true.

    My advice, don't worry about hubby. When he realizes how much better you look and feel, he'll get his act together.

Categories