have I gone insane?

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allanaaron
allanaaron Posts: 43 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Have I gone bonkers? The answer is - kind of, yeah, Allan you've gone somewhat bonkers. So I weighed 365 two years ago and after a year of hard work got it down to 240. Then the site I counted calories on had a beta version that destroyed all my records and I decided (like an alcoholic) to go on my own. I went up to 327 from 245, found this site and today I stood on the scale and weighed 300 (it's been almost two months). So I'm one pound from breaking the superweightsonic 300 lb. barrier. I look in the mirror and I feel great. I look at photos and videos and I look fat. My fat clothes are getting loose and my belt went down another notch. But I tried some dress pants from a year ago and I won't be able to wear them for at least 50 lbs. Yesterday I tried on some 2X shorts and they were too tight. I feel more confident because I'm taking care of myself, but I still have the breasts of a fifteen-year-old girl. Of course at 327 I had the breasts of a woman and at 365 I had the breasts of a Hooters girl. So as you can see my mind is bonkers. Of course I count weight loss by bowling balls. In almost two months I've lost one 16 lb. bowling ball and one 11 lb. bowling ball. I am excited and depressed, sad and happy. I am motivated and discouraged. I repeat over and over to myself, NEVER AGAIN, this time I will stick to it. I will count calories for the rest of my life. I will work out about 7 hours a week for the rest of my life, I will seek support from fellow travelers (like you) and I will get my weight down to near normal or better and keep it there by never stopping my awareness. I love calorie counting and exercise because you can have treats, but you always know the price you pay for having them. Eating out means my other meals are lighter. Big food events mean I better work out today. And feeling bonkers means I better write it out and move on. Yes the food still calls out to me, but at least now I know what they're saying... because I've gone bonkers.

Replies

  • lisastrom
    lisastrom Posts: 108 Member
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    Great post! We all know exactly how you feel about the food. Whenever lunch gets brought into our office and there are cookies I literally cannot stop thinking about them all day. I usually resist the tempation but it's HARD!!!

    You have done a wonderful job so far. Your dedication is tremendous. Stick with it and I look forward to hearing more about your success.:smile:
  • Mickers36
    Mickers36 Posts: 84 Member
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    OMG love the post! So THAT is what is going on with my head - I've gone bonkers too lol!
  • BettyandVeronica
    BettyandVeronica Posts: 333 Member
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    Alan you are not going potty...you appear determined to get this weight gain under tight rein and change your lifestyle.I am defo sure you can do this.Lots of dedication and motivation is something you already possess,seeing as how you already lost 100 pounds before. That is no easy feat,so applause to you. Now you just have to do it again with the same gusto and energy.

    We're right behind you Alan....

    You can do this.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    Love this!!! I too had a weight loss set back (packed on the pound with pregnancy) at least you know what needs to be done now and that you CAN do it!!

    Just keep tackling it each day!! :drinker:
  • brandilea_willoughby
    brandilea_willoughby Posts: 45
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    you should create a blog, you speak for many people on here :) You can do this! I weighed 372 ponds at my heaviest and am down to 290. 77 pounds i lost by myself. then I stalled. I found this site through a friend a few weeks ago. It is good that you understand this is a life long commitment. Best of luck with your weightloss goals!
  • allanaaron
    allanaaron Posts: 43 Member
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    It's so great as we swim in our ocean of insecurities, chuckles, mind warps and such that we can just put them down on paper and other people can say, "I hear you, I get it, it's real for me too."

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