Losing weight......losing friends :(
Options
Replies
-
I agree with everyone here, in that this person is not acting like the best type of friend right now. They obviously have self-esteem issues. They might feel like if you are judging yourself (in a good way) and taking action, that you might be judging their personal choices as well (with a negative connotation). I've been there.
HOWEVER, just because they are being immature right now, and have not "seen the light" so to speak, doesn't mean you necessarily need to burn that bridge. Being a good friend to them would also be willing to forgive them for immature words or actions towards you, and know that it comes from a dark place inside, not necessarily spite or dislike for you. Understand and forgive, if they try to reach out.0 -
I agree with everyone here, in that this person is not acting like the best type of friend right now. They obviously have self-esteem issues. They might feel like if you are judging yourself (in a good way) and taking action, that you might be judging their personal choices as well (with a negative connotation). I've been there.
HOWEVER, just because they are being immature right now, and have not "seen the light" so to speak, doesn't mean you necessarily need to burn that bridge. Being a good friend to them would also be willing to forgive them for immature words or actions towards you, and know that it comes from a dark place inside, not necessarily spite or dislike for you. Understand and forgive, if they try to reach out.
Thanks for the insight on not burning bridges....I didnt burn them in the beginning but then very nasty things were exchanged. I however did apologize for my remarks as I am better than that. I pride myself on being a good person and I would like to be there for her should she decide the entire thing was immature.0 -
Sometimes we become the "mirror" that reflects the issues the other person is having to deal with..... Maybe they would love to achieve what you are achieving, but are fighting their own internal demons that is stopping them from taking that first step that each of us here took at one stage or another. The easiest way for them to reflect that is to turn away from the person that is being successful - or making fun of them.....
In my situation I have a colleague at work that has lost a significant amount of weight a few years, and she was so lovely and supportive when I started off - and over many months..... Unfortunately for whatever reasons she has been picking up weight since the beginning of the year at about the same rate I have been shedding it. It is now at the point where she will never ask me about my weigh ins anymore......
I find it very tough, as I would love to be there for her the way she has been for me, but I also know it is very painful for her to see me "celebrating" the new me - while she is dealing with her demons..... So I will keep trying to motivate her in a " non threatening way" - but also try and be aware of how she feels.....0 -
Sorry to hear that. It's sad to think that your friend wouldn't support you. Guess maybe she wasn't such a good friend after all. Sad thought
0 -
Sometimes we become the "mirror" that reflects the issues the other person is having to deal with.....
Such wise words.
I'm sorry you're losing a friend over this. That's really lame.0 -
Going through that right now... I know how you feel. I rely on my friends that motivate me...
My trainer told me a quote "Obsession is the lazy man's word for dedication". So when insecure "friends" have said i am obsessed with working out or mad that i am not drinking on a friday night because I want to work out saturday morning... I just keep telling myself I am dedicated to being healthy. You have one body, one chance not to mess it up.
Keep strong0 -
I'm sorry to hear about them acting out like that. Sometimes people just can't handle being reminded of what they should be doing. I found MFP actually brought me together with some high school friends, and seems like it helped me inspire other friends.0
-
Going through that right now... I know how you feel. I rely on my friends that motivate me...
My trainer told me a quote "Obsession is the lazy man's word for dedication". So when insecure "friends" have said i am obsessed with working out or mad that i am not drinking on a friday night because I want to work out saturday morning... I just keep telling myself I am dedicated to being healthy. You have one body, one chance not to mess it up.
Keep strong
Oh wow I think your trainer hit this quote on the head. I was told that I am obsessed with weight loss and that is causing her to become the same way. Thank you for posting this. Everyone's support has made me feel so much better about this situation. I only tried to show support when she came to me regarding weight loss, never told her she needed to lose weight. I believe it just struck a nerve because when I did my weekly weigh ins and had success it posted it on fb and I guess she just grew tired of the posts Unfortunately it did make me question whether or not I was pushing my success on everyone and I hate that I felt that way. People can block my fb posts. Thanks for all of the support MFPers!!!! 0 -
Wow, that is incredibly stupid. "Friends" like that should take a hint and start doing what you're doing!!0
-
I haven't lost friends (that I know of)....BUT....I do get a lot of smart comments from my udates linking to facebook.....so much so that I turned off my facebook updates for a week. I was so hurt by one comment telling me to go get a cheeseburger and be happy with myself regardless of my size (REALLY!!!???!!!)....
But let me tell you this----after turning off my udates to facebook....a guy at church that I don't really talk to that much walked up to me and said " I really love your fitness post...they have inspired me to lose weight"
Girlfriend....he has lost 30 lbs and logs into myfitnesspal on his phone EVERYDAY!!! hahahahahaha!!!
What's my point??? You're an inspiration to MANY....even though you may run into a few HATERS!!! Keep shining superstar and brush them HATAS off:))
If your girl is a TRUE friend, she'll come around and offer support if she wants to be in your life. I know to lose a friend is heartbreaking---cheer up:)) You're doing a great job:))0 -
I haven't lost friends (that I know of)....BUT....I do get a lot of smart comments from my udates linking to facebook.....so much so that I turned off my facebook updates for a week. I was so hurt by one comment telling me to go get a cheeseburger and be happy with myself regardless of my size (REALLY!!!???!!!)....
But let me tell you this----after turning off my udates to facebook....a guy at church that I don't really talk to that much walked up to me and said " I really love your fitness post...they have inspired me to lose weight"
Girlfriend....he has lost 30 lbs and logs into myfitnesspal on his phone EVERYDAY!!! hahahahahaha!!!
What's my point??? You're an inspiration to MANY....even though you may run into a few HATERS!!! Keep shining superstar and brush them HATAS off:))
If your girl is a TRUE friend, she'll come around and offer support if she wants to be in your life. I know to lose a friend is heartbreaking---cheer up:)) You're doing a great job:))
Wow thank you so much for this! I cannot believe the nasty comment about the cheeseburger. My "friend" also commented to me in her explanation "newsflash your thin be content with yourself". That upset me How wonderful that is about the other church member using you as inspiration. That was alot of my reasoning for linking it to fb and I have come across others that I have inspired so that is great! 0 -
I posted earlier about one friend who I don't think could take it if I told her my success. I just thought of my other friend who has improved her life, and lost weight because I'm there to "inspire" her. she's changed how she eats and is moving more (she's active to start with) and has two little girls and is very busy.
I'm still sorry about your friend but I just wanted to post something about how our weight loss journey here can have good results from the people around us as well.
0 -
I haven't lost friends (that I know of)....BUT....I do get a lot of smart comments from my udates linking to facebook.....so much so that I turned off my facebook updates for a week. I was so hurt by one comment telling me to go get a cheeseburger and be happy with myself regardless of my size (REALLY!!!???!!!)....
But let me tell you this----after turning off my udates to facebook....a guy at church that I don't really talk to that much walked up to me and said " I really love your fitness post...they have inspired me to lose weight"
Girlfriend....he has lost 30 lbs and logs into myfitnesspal on his phone EVERYDAY!!! hahahahahaha!!!
What's my point??? You're an inspiration to MANY....even though you may run into a few HATERS!!! Keep shining superstar and brush them HATAS off:))
If your girl is a TRUE friend, she'll come around and offer support if she wants to be in your life. I know to lose a friend is heartbreaking---cheer up:)) You're doing a great job:))
This post was awesome! 0 -
I have found that aswell, im also not cool anymore because I dont drink anymore, well a very occasional one every few months but id rather use my calories on something yummy0
-
We have only lived here 4 years so I don't have many friends here anyway. Most of the people I know are far thinner and more glamourous than me, so I don't have the envy issue! Not in that direction, anyway.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392K Introduce Yourself
- 43.6K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 402 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 998 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions