Fat girl complex

Jellyphant

I try to avoid mirrors or any shiny surfaces at all cost 'cause I just can't take what I see. It'll probably continue even when I lose my extra 82. Complex to the MAX.

mfkfoster

I have lost 45 pounds but still needing to lose 79 put me in the still fat zone. I totally have the fat girl conplex. I still won't sit in plastic chairs because I think they won't hold my weight. I still go for the bigger clothes because I can't believe I fit in a 18W. I don't know if I can ever get rid of the Fat Girl in me but I know I want the Healthy One to show.

yes_i_can

I know what you mean, and I encourage you to do what you can to change that perception. About 6 years ago I lost 85 pounds and was the thinnest I'd been in my adult life. But, like you're describing, I never saw myself any differently. In my eyes I was still bigger than everyone.

That, I believe, is a big part of why I gained it back. If you don't see it coming off, you don't see it going back on until it's too late to be easily managed.

Embrace your current size and make yourself notice the differences. And, when you get to your goal, don't accept yourself as a "former fat girl", edit that out and live as a "healthy, thin girl". That is my plan, and I'm hoping that this time it will equal success when I get to the maintenance stage of things...

craft338

yeah, i still get nervous going into restaurants with booths cuz i used to not fit. now i fit, with room to spare, but i still get a weird feeling, like "omg, should i ask for a table instead??"

AND the last couple times i went clothes shopping, i KEPT trying on clothes that were too big for me even though i KNOW i went down a size. it's like i keep thinking that the last thing that fit me was mislabeled and i'm still the bigger size.

Ashley_Panda

Definitely. I'm afraid that if I even go look at my size in a store I'm going to get crazy looks from the other people because I still look fat or something.

dmoses

I'm still afraid to sit on an exercise ball for fear of it bursting... :frown:

Ceylon_Sapphire

Every day I face the challenge of looking at myself and seeing that 'Fat Girl'. :brokenheart: all my life was told, change those clothes, you look too fat in them. (I was 65kg and 32cm waist) What a joke? :explode: NOW, 30 years on - I am that fat girl with a 52 inch waist and hips to prove it. Never have felt good about myself. Never have been told either.

BUT I am changing; I openly say I am fat, I openly say I have to do something about being fat. :happy: NOW, I am making a stand for myself. :happy: I am speaking out and I am liking it. :happy: People I work with and my immediate family are now noticing me and showing me respect. :happy: I even have said, no thank you, I do not think that chair will take my weight. And I stand. :happy:

I have now made the decision to give myself weekly challenges to myself. This week - I chose to say openly - 'I am fat and I am changing myself.'

I feel good. for the first time in a long time.:happy:

Thank you kindly for placing this topic. Many a time I have had those same thoughts.

ItsCasey

It's funny because I've lost 80 lbs since January 2010, and I have just recently gotten to a point where I look in the mirror and see myself as being a small person. I don't call myself "thin" or "skinny" because I still have some midsection fat that has to go, but I am a short/small-framed person (who frequently gets called "tiny" now ... imagine that), and the overall size of my body is pretty much where I want it to be. I can see collar bones and deltoids and obliques and quads and hamstrings and things I could never see before, so I know I look like a "normal" person now and not a fat person.

However, I do still think of myself as a chubby girl. And I still think every guy who glances at me for longer than 2 seconds is a creeper. Don't even get me started on the near-hyperventilation that occurs when one of them actually comes over to talk to me. It's definitely still something that I'm having to work through.

Matchamatcha

I definitely had the fat girl complex. I actually think I look ok now, although I want to look better. What I mean is, I don't put my entire worth/self esteem in how I look, and I still see the good points in how I look even though there are also bad.

I had to really work at it though. As a teenager I lost about 10kg/20lbs through being miserable and having no appetite, everyone complimented me on how good I looked, I just couldn't see it. I thought I still looked the same, did not feel slimmer or prettier at all. I remember being so surprised that I had to buy a few sizes smaller jeans, like it was a fluke or something, even that wasn't enough. I simply couldn't see the difference in my body. But thinking back, I was so much smaller!

So now that I'm in a better place, I think I'll be ok as the weight comes off. When I've lost the weight and I'm toned and slim, I plan to enjoy the hell out of it. And if I feel uncomfortable, I will squash that discomfort and fake it til I make it!

wvmark41

I never really thought about it, but I guess it has happened to me... except it was fat GUY complex.

When I was younger and hand the 6-pack abs & firm pecs happening, I didn't mind taking my shirt off to work in the yard, or swim, or jog..... Now, there's no way I'd want to do that, even though my beer belly & man-boobs are almost all gone.

Maybe I'll start going topless sometime this summer after I lose another 20 pounds. Who wants pics?!?!?!?!? (girls only, please).


OH... and some advice for the ladies.... get rid of that complex when you're talking to a man. Some of us guys just want to have a friendly conversation with someone fun. Just be yourself and have fun.

wvmark41

lol.... yep, exercise balls still kind of scare me.

Qarol

I will always see myself as fat. A few years ago, I got very close to my goal weight (within 10 lbs). I felt huge still. It's a long story, but I gained it all back plus quite a bit. Now I'm trying again, and while I've lost 30 lbs, I'm still nowhere near my goal weight yet. But I remember feeling huge at that lower weight when now, I would kill to be that weight again.

lcoulter23

I've had that complex before, yes. And even though at times I still think of myself that way I have been thinking differently lately. I am seeing changes in the mirror that I have never seen before. My clothes is looser and fits better than it ever has and my stomach, butt and thighs are starting to shrink and tone up. So while I still weigh a lot, I have lost a lot of inches and people can tell and they are telling me I am looking good and so I believe them. I still hate shopping, but I always have and probably always will. I am not afraid of things anymore either. Three weeks ago I was terrified that if I got on an elliptical I would either fall off or break it. I conquered that fear and now it is my favorite piece of exercise equipment. I have fat arms and don't like showing them off, but I am wearing proper workout gear to the gym now too! I am still a plus size and probably will be for quite some time to come, but I feel great about myself for the first time in a long time and I am starting to like what I see in the mirror.

People are still rude to me though. The other day at the gym I was getting on the elliptical and two very skinny girls were a couple away from me and said " I bet that she can't even last 5 minutes on that thing as much as she weighs." I showed them. I not only lasted 5 minutes, I lasted 62 minutes and I rocked that workout. Never put a challenge in front of me because I will take that challenge and show you that I can beat it. I am stronger than I look. I am an arm wrestling champion and I am also a very stubborn person. Do not tell me what I can and cannot do, because I will most likely beat your expectations of me into the ground and I'll leave you with your jaw hanging wide open.

I may sound conceited, but I really am not. I know that the only way I can do this is through God and that he is showing me my worth every single day. I am almost to my 50th day on here and while my signature says I have only lost 6 pounds since coming here I have lost 34 pounds since January. Now people are starting to look to me for motivation and that is a first for me.

Anyways, I am babbling now. I will stop talking! (I actually really hate talking about myself, so me sharing with complete strangers every day is me going extremely far out of my comfort zone.)

eeeekie

I really haven't tried anything because my inner fat girl is still an outter fat girl lol. I've lost nearly 24lbs and have a long way to go but I do remember about 10lbs ago I went to a restaurant and my automatic response to "Table or Booth" was "table please" because I didn't think I could fit in the booth. My mom was determined to get me to the booth because she felt like I would fit now and we went over and I slid in...stomach sucked in, *kitten* bent and realized I didn't have to do that because I could slide in comfortably...only about a 1in gap but it was a lot more comfortable...I don't think I'll ever get over that because I've been doing it for 20 years BUT I can't wait to have my inner fat girl be proven wrong time and time again

AmberBarrios

Isn't great that we can all admit these things! To be totally honest with you in regards to the booth thing, I hope this lady wasn't totally pissed at me, yesterday I had gone into a restaurant to grab something quick for lunch and as I was waiting for my order I saw a lady come in with some of, what I assume were her co workers. She was a large woman and the co workers weren't. She tried to squeeze into a booth and one of the people she was with said "OMG you can't fit! I would seriously kill myself if I couldn't fit in a booth anymore! Maybe you need to go do laps around the restaurant" First wanted to smack the **** out of this girl! The larger woman got up to fill her drink cup and I walked over and told her "don't feel bad, I didn't fit in a booth either for a long time, if you are interested you could check out an amazing website myfitnesspal.com (which I had jotted down on a napkin for her, then I added and don't worry about people like that, they don't see the amazing heart and soul they only see the outside" then I left.

She looked somewhat stunned and embarassed that I said anything but I didn't mean to embarass her, I just wanted to pass along the knowledge that someone passed to me once that has changed my life.

bmw4deb

Isn't great that we can all admit these things! To be totally honest with you in regards to the booth thing, I hope this lady wasn't totally pissed at me, yesterday I had gone into a restaurant to grab something quick for lunch and as I was waiting for my order I saw a lady come in with some of, what I assume were her co workers. She was a large woman and the co workers weren't. She tried to squeeze into a booth and one of the people she was with said "OMG you can't fit! I would seriously kill myself if I couldn't fit in a booth anymore! Maybe you need to go do laps around the restaurant" First wanted to smack the **** out of this girl! The larger woman got up to fill her drink cup and I walked over and told her "don't feel bad, I didn't fit in a booth either for a long time, if you are interested you could check out an amazing website myfitnesspal.com (which I had jotted down on a napkin for her, then I added and don't worry about people like that, they don't see the amazing heart and soul they only see the outside" then I left.

She looked somewhat stunned and embarassed that I said anything but I didn't mean to embarass her, I just wanted to pass along the knowledge that someone passed to me once that has changed my life.

Amber, reading you post made me cry ! Thanks for shareing with us and her!
(sorry for double post i have reported one)

baisleac

She looked somewhat stunned and embarassed that I said anything but I didn't mean to embarass her, I just wanted to pass along the knowledge that someone passed to me once that has changed my life.

I'd be willing to bet that she was embarrassed that you had overheard her companion's comment, but was grateful for the information. At least, I would have been.

katznkt

When I started 6th grade I was really chubby fat. Then I got sick and didn't eat for 6 months and came out a size 0. I slowly gained weight until I leveled out as a size 10 in high school, but I seriously never got over feeling fat. I felt huge and awkward during all of school and through college. I remember playing one trust game a church where you had to step on a guys hands to climb over a tall wall without a rope. I refused to do it because I thought I would be too heavy and embarrass myself.

Then I had kids and found out what fat was. I look back on those pictures and think how skinny and hot I was and have made that my goal. I am also going to ENJOY it when I get back down there.

FunRun08

I definitely have this issue. I have a picture of myself from before(60lbs ago) and when I look at it makes me want to cry. I knew I was heavy but my clothes fit and my husband was very loving and affectionate so I didnt feel like I looked disgusting, but thats what I think when I look at that picture. Now I feel like- if I couldn't see myself then what do I really look like now. Someone said to me " your so skinny I cant picture you fat" I laughed out loud partly because that was the first time in my life anyone had every used the term skinny to describe me and partly cause that isnt how I see myself. Sometimes I worry that I will never be happy with the way I look and will always think of myself as a "fat girl".

ImperfektAngel

This happens to me a lot with clothes, the other day I saw a nice dress, picked up the XL because in my head there was just no way I would fit into the Large, the XL was too big had to get out of the dressing room and go get the smaller size lol

bltmgray

LOL! It's so funny that you posted this. I'm down 59 lbs and have about 20 lbs left to go on my journey. Just the other day I was talking with my friend about a trip we are taking to go see a Bon Jovi concert. The concert is about 3 1/2 - 4 hour car ride from where we live. We are going with 3 other friends and driving there. So, anyway, we are talking about the drive and in my head I'm thinking, "how are we all going to fit in the car? I'm going to squish everyone in if I sit in the back seat." Then it dawned on me, "Wait! I'm not that big anymore! I'll fit fine sitting next to my friends!" LOL! Love it!

swebb1103

I always grab clothes in a size larger than I am now, and I still hate eating in front of strangers, because for the longest time I felt like they were judging me for every bite I put into my mouth. Forget having dessert at a restaurant! Now, though, I remind myself that I worked out, have extra calories, and whatever I want to eat is MY business, not anyone else's!

yes_i_can

I always grab clothes in a size larger than I am now, and I still hate eating in front of strangers, because for the longest time I felt like they were judging me for every bite I put into my mouth. Forget having dessert at a restaurant! Now, though, I remind myself that I worked out, have extra calories, and whatever I want to eat is MY business, not anyone else's!

I am SO with you on the judging! That's one of the big things I'm trying to work on... every time I'm grocery shopping, or eating out, or even walk into a clothing store I feel like all eyes are on me and they're thinking "Look at the fat girl buying more food!" OR "What's she doing here? Nothing in this store will fit her!"

I'm working on it though...

shelcof

I'm kinda bummed now because I was hoping some of these things would go away

My biggest issue right now is assuming that if a guy talks to me, he must have a 'fat girl fetish',