Parents arnt supporting!
chloemeow
Posts: 71
im 18 years old, i live with my mum and step dad,
i do not get along with my step dad anymore,
and its just like, he enjoys bringing sweets, softdrink, cakes and stuff into my house just to make me want to eat them
because he doesnt eat them and either does my mum.
they really dont support me. i am a big girl and they even say it! so why wont they help me?
im on my last string with my parents, i really am.
i do not get along with my step dad anymore,
and its just like, he enjoys bringing sweets, softdrink, cakes and stuff into my house just to make me want to eat them
because he doesnt eat them and either does my mum.
they really dont support me. i am a big girl and they even say it! so why wont they help me?
im on my last string with my parents, i really am.
0
Replies
-
Some people are uncomfortable with change, especially when other people change for the better. Your step dad is just trying to test you, prove him wrong and keep up your good work - nothing tastes as good as being happy with yourself feels!0
-
how do you want them to help you exactly?
some people will never change, we have to just accept that. i understand what you are saying. and its possible they feel threatened by your new found healthy lifestyle. they are afraid they may have to eat healthy..its very common with people who are confronted with someone/something different than what they are used too..different from THEIR normal. best to sit down and just talk with them..make sure they know you dont care what they eat, as long as they dont force it on you. you are an adult, if you live in their home i can see their point too. why should they change for you? but they should be supportive..if they arent ask them to at least try to understand this is your choice..and you'll respect them if they respect you.0 -
they are both fit though,
my mum lost like 20 kilos (around 40 pounds)
and she doesnt eat it, they arnt afraid of change, because they dont have to change
they arnt eating the food they buy.
they wont buy me any healthy food, even when i give them the money too
they know i dont care what they eat,
because im the one cooking them dinner,
its just so unfair0 -
Can't you buy yourself the healthy food instead of giving them the money?0
-
If you have money to buy your own food, can you actually buy it yourself instead of just giving them money and asking them to buy it?
As for the unhealthy food they're buying and then not eating, there's a few suggestions - have a proper talk with them about it and see if you can make them see your side (calmly, reasonably and not shouting or whining or saying "it's not fair"), throw it away or hide it if they definitely aren't eating it, or just boost your willpower and don't eat it. For willpower boosts, there are lots of things to try, pictures of clothes you want to fit into in your wallet, on the fridge, on the cupboards etc, an elastic band round your wrist can act as a "reminder".
Actually I've just remember I saw a cookie jar last week that shouted "step away from the cookies" when you opened it :laugh: you could always stick the unhealthy stuff in one of those!0 -
no, because im at tafe monday through friday 8.30-4.30
then working on the weekends.
i dont have the time to do buy my own food.0 -
You've got to get a job and move out. Harsh I know but it sounds like it's time and they might be pushing you to get out too. I know it's tough, and it's a tough world out there but once you're responsible for you it will be better. Good luck......follow your path
0 -
they dont want me to move out and i would miss my dogs way to much
im only 18 and im still studying full time, and i work on the weekends,
and i also cant live by myself, very high anxiety issues..0 -
I kind of have this problem with my parents, my dad got diagnosed with arthritis last year so my mum completely changed his diet to try and help with the symptoms which is great! The only problem is that they eat alot of seafood and things I don't paticularly enjoy, I find it hard to get into the kitchen to cook anything for myself as they spend alot of time in there. It ended up I was having to eat what ever was thrown at me usually about 8pm which is far too late for what I needed with my diet.
My dad has always been bad at bringing cakes and sweets home and because I couldn't get to make a meal I found myself snacking on these empty calories.
What I suggest, when you've got the house to yourself or some free time, get a load of carrots or veg you like raw and chop them up into sticks, carrots are paticularly good because they are sweet and beat some cravings, also if your craving chocolate, spinach is paticularly good because of the amount of iron in it and its suprisingly tasty. Keep them in the fridge so when you're craving snacks, grab a handful. You could also pre make your meals in this way so you just need to heat them up.
You have to look at it from your parents point of view also, they know you're unhappy with the way you look and possibly feel some responsibility for giving you the realtionship you have with food, if they brought you sweet treats when you were younger they are probably just bringing them home because they have made you happy at some point. You could also broach the subject with your step dad and just tell him that you are really struggling to stop snacking and you need a little bit of support, ask if he could cut down on the amount of sweets he brings home. I'm sure he will respect you for this.
Just look at all points of view and explore your options, hope this helps.0 -
I sympathise with the bad food in the house being tempting, I still live with my parents and can't ask them to give up on treats etc just because I'm dieting, my dad's a fitness freak but because he leads such an active life he can eat what he wants and not gain weight, where as I just need to look at a packet of crisps and I gain 2lbs haha.
My boyfriend is also one of those lucky people who seems to be able to eat whatever he wants and not gain weight, so when you're surrounded by people eating the things you're craving it's very hard to resist.
However, if your parents aren't eating the stuff themselves, maybe they're just buying those things out of habit as they've been things you've eaten in the past? Just try asking them not to buy them anymore, unless they're going to eat them themselves. If they really don't eat it, I can't see them having a problem with not buying it anymore!
I wouldn't rush to move out for these reasons, if you're in full time education I'd say stay at home, it's the only way you'd be able to do it somewhat affordably...you'd end up having to drop out of education and get a full time job to support yourself, and finishing your education is important no rush! 0 -
Well I think that you should start managing your own food and make a deal with your parents that they buy you healthy food as well. Then you could make your own healthy meals. Eating healthy requires some time. I'm studying full time as well, but since I've started to look after myself I know I have to pay attention to what and when I eat.
Remember resisting temptatioons is very important. It's always gonna be like this. Your parent or friends offering you unhealthy snacks and so on. And you'll have to resist those temptations. Of course, If there is an occassion, you can have something like cake or chocolate, you don't have to completely disregard this food, just eat it wisely and in small amounts. Remmeber to enjoy your food~
I think in some time you'll be able to manage all of your food preparation, and forget about that cake in the fridge ;D
And yeah, my firends is like your parents, keeps telling me I look good, when I actually don't. And my mom is offering too much food when I'm visiting her, even though she knows I'm trying to lose weight. But stay strong and try to resist those things, try to get out of the house, do some activities, etc.
0 -
Hey there, we're the same age and snap with the anxiety issues. My parents arent very supportive either, but you have to try and rise above them. This is about YOUR health! Like someone said before try talking to them about it. If you dont feel comfortable talking to your step dad, talk to your mum about it and ask her to have a word. If even this sounds scary, your worried it's going to decend into a shouting match, or your worried your going to get tongue tied write down what you want to say to them and leave it somewhere they'll find it.
Just remember you can do this!!! And your MFP friends will be there fr you when you need us.0 -
I'm 20 and have had some problem with my parents, too.. well my mum really. I moved out three years ago, not for those reasons, but just because the university i went to was quite far away and simply the act of getting more responsible because of it has eased a lot between my parents and i. I totally agree that having a talk with them is the best start. Maybe during dinner sometime when you're all together and just ask them why they're doing it, they will have to give you an answer whether it's true or not, you can work from there.
I also agree that if they don't eat it, just throw it away. They'll see it's a waste of money and stop buying it. Then, anything they buy for dinner, even if it seems unhealthy can be made less or more healthy by the way it's prepared. Show them they can't stop you, and show them how responsible you are, it helps!0 -
I had a similar problem when visiting my parents in Spain. I had completely changed my eating habits from the last time I saw them and when I visited they had loads of cheese and sweet things for me. Argh!
I put weight on the first time I visited, but I let them know what foods I was now avoiding and dropped hints about lots of veg and lean chicken, etc, before my recent visit.
I have just come back from Spain and I still put some weight on (less though, over a longer period), but I ate much more healthily. I'm also attributing some of my weight gain to muscle gain because of the 30 Day Shred (yes, I took it on holiday with me - crazy!). Maybe it isn't muscle gain, but I can dream... That's what you get for not counting calories.
I would suggest what others suggested: hide or throw away things that aren't being eaten. If your mum and step-dad find a cupboard full of uneaten treats (which you have already said you don't eat), they may realise how much money they are wasting.
Good luck
) 0 -
thank you to the positive responces, and to the others, its not resisting temptation, even when i wasnt dieting, i didnt eat much sweets and cakes, im more of a carb person, but they never bought this stuff before i have started to lose weight.
I dont just give them money, i give them a list, of brands, and how much they are going to be.
by the time i get home at about 5, i exercise, i eat dinner, and i do my homework.
i usually start working at around 9 or 10 and finish late afternoon, so i really dont have time,
i payed over $1000 for what i am studying for, so i really dont have the time to sit and organise food,
i need to be constantly studying,
and to the people saying i need to have a serious talk to my parents, thank you.0 -
I suggest one day a week you just make the time. There is no one else to do it for you and no other options except for the reasons you can't. Just make the time. An hour one day a week. Try it.0
-
Hi Chloe, this does sound like a tricky situation, but you're 18 now, you have to start taking responsibility for yourself.
It sounds to me as though you have two options:
- stop at the supermerket in your lunch hour or after TAFE and buy your own food. Make time to cook a few times a week, you don't have to do something different every day. I know you are busy studying but maybe you could get some books or notes onto audio books and listen/review while you cook. Or just accept that you will have to go to bed half an hour later to build in time for meal prep.
- if you just can't see this working, then you will have to eat what they eat - watch your portions and buy some extras (ready to eat salad mix for example) to add to the meal if you need to.
You sound pretty good at ignoring the junk - great work, keep ignoring it, say a polite "no thanks", don't nag or conplain and perhaps they will get the message that you ate serious about eating healthy and stop wasting money on junk.
I can't imagine why they ate bring so obstructive, but just because they want to play this way, you don't have to! Be grown up, ignore the games and choose your own path to being healthy.
Good luck!0 -
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you finish at 4.30 five days a week and you don't have time to buy food? Crikey, MAKE time to buy food.
Sure you're busy in the evenings, who isn't? When I was studying I worked full time as well, and had weekend jobs, and was running a household, which means doing all the shopping and all the cooking and all the cleaning and paying all the bills and doing the gardening and doing the house maintenance and and and...
You are living with your parents - if you lived alone, what - would you just starve to death because you don't have time to shop?
It's horrible that they're not being supportive of your efforts, but the bottom line is that ultimately you are alone in this world - but the great news is that you can always rely on yourself. Sure there are people who will join you on life's journey and who will help you and support you, and when you have that it's great, but ultimately nobody else will take responsibility for your wellbeing. Only you can do that.0 -
Unfortunately you can't stop other people bringing tempting food into the house if they want to. You just have to keep on resisting it. Have you tried talking to them? Asking them why they keep bringing this food into the house for you when you don't want it? If all else fails then you're either going to have to make time to go shopping for yourself or eat what they provide unfortunately.0
-
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you finish at 4.30 five days a week and you don't have time to buy food? Crikey, MAKE time to buy food.
Sure you're busy in the evenings, who isn't? When I was studying I worked full time as well, and had weekend jobs, and was running a household, which means doing all the shopping and all the cooking and all the cleaning and paying all the bills and doing the gardening and doing the house maintenance and and and...
You are living with your parents - if you lived alone, what - would you just starve to death because you don't have time to shop?
It's horrible that they're not being supportive of your efforts, but the bottom line is that ultimately you are alone in this world - but the great news is that you can always rely on yourself. Sure there are people who will join you on life's journey and who will help you and support you, and when you have that it's great, but ultimately nobody else will take responsibility for your wellbeing. Only you can do that.
I agree with this entirely.
It sucks that your parents aren't supportive - I am living at home at the moment also, and have to resist all the crap my family brings home, but your schedule isn't too bad at all. I myself work full-time (which means 8 til 5), go to the gym for 2 hours every day, and am doing an extra diploma on top of that- on the days I food shop, it's after the gym, after work, and I won't get home til after 9pm. I don't even consider my schedule that bad - there are people on here who care for others, people with kids, and people who work ridiculous shifts - but they make time.
It's all about making time and putting in the effort. If you want it enough, you'll manage it.0 -
just letting you all know,
i only get 15 mins breaks
and i finish at 4.30
and get home around 5.
then i do homework as soon as i get home.
okay this was a bad idea to post this because yous arnt really thinking of my situation.
i am a student, the last thing i can do is move out, because then im going to go broke and eat junk food,
i hope i can delete posts, cozim going to delete this, thanks for everything to the people who understand my situation.0 -
Its not good when your parents or friends don't seem to take on board the seriousness of how hard it is to loose weight.However, in order for you to continue,you have to accept that this is your path to take.I know we all need to feel accepted and taken seriously,but at the end of the day you have to dig deep somewhere inside you and do it for you. when you focus on you, everything else will follow.Keep on refusing foods that you have chosen not to eat and tell your parents nicely that you dont appreciate them trying to saboutage you, and move on from it.They will eventually get the message.whatever you do,dont loose your temper as this takes you somewhere emotionally that will lead you to seeking comfort , probably in food. you can do this and you can do it without them if you really want to.Be strong on go for it girl!0
-
My parents aren't either, but then at 33 I don't really expect them to be.0
-
Seriously, you asked for advice and people gave it. If your parents won't buy in the food you want then there's nothing you can do if you're not prepared to go out and get it yourself. It's not like you need to go shopping every day, I used to go once a week when I worked 12 hours a day and that worked out fine.just letting you all know,
i only get 15 mins breaks
and i finish at 4.30
and get home around 5.
then i do homework as soon as i get home.
okay this was a bad idea to post this because yous arnt really thinking of my situation.
i am a student, the last thing i can do is move out, because then im going to go broke and eat junk food,
i hope i can delete posts, cozim going to delete this, thanks for everything to the people who understand my situation.0 -
Go food shopping after work? Get up earlier and go food shopping before work? I know your situation isn't perfect, but you're not accepting advice given to you, it's not that people don't ~understand~ your situation (which really isn't that bad at all given the facts you've given us), it's that you are making excuses when we offer you practical advice to resolve your issue. If you want it, you'll find a way.0
-
you could move out...0
-
If you think someone's buying bad food for you to eat then you don't have much willpower. My brother always buys junk food but I never eat any of it.0
-
Hi
this may sound harsh
dont eat it
eventually when the cupboards are overflowing your mum and step dad will get the message and not buy it as its going to waste
don't bin it - they will replace it
don't hide it - they will replace it
don't eat it - they will replace it
leave it they will eventually realise you dont want it
the rest is willpower and how much you desire the changes
I suspect that if you face this and look at what happens at tafe in the day you are probably not eating correctly as a whole and instead of confronting your own weaknesses you are clinging to the view that its someone elses fault
I am sorry if this sounds harsh - I have finally found my own solution to my weight problems at 48years of age - its me !
Now the hardest thing you will need to do is be patient ......it takes 30 days to change a habit
So new habit number one - be honest with yourself and record all your food and drinks consumed - regardless of who bought them do this for 4 weeks and review it each day - did i need that soda or would water have done etc etc
then after 4 weeks look at the 4 weeks and see what else you could have missed I think you will be surprised
there are lots of people with lots of similar stories on here look read and learn you will then get the hang of it and find the strength you need to succeed
please be patient as it will happen for you0 -
Oh and BTW my family never supports me either. They just ask me when I'm going to start gaining weight again.0
-
Do you think they might be trying to teach you to handle a little more responsibility? Just a thought...0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions