Fear of Success??

jencoz04

I am very frustrated with myself right now. My all time high weight was 279. I got down to 203 earlier this year and was so excited to be so close to breaking the 200 mark. However, since that point I have gained about 12-15 pounds back. My motivation is gone out the window. I am an emotional eater and have been stressed out to no end since the beginning of the year. My husband does not like me getting "skinner" he has never known me at this weight. So he keeps bringing home chips, cookies, and ice cream. I have had no will power as of late.

I think part of the problem was that I was so close to such big milestones that I sabotaged myself. I was so close to hitting the 80# lost and breaking the 200 mark. I don't know why I am so scared of achieving these things but I can't seem to get back on track.

I know I should just get back to it. But it is very difficult, I use to do the Wii in the morning but we have someone staying with us and I cannot work out in the living room. The apartment gym doesn't open until 6:00am and that is the time I need to start getting ready for work. By the time I get home, I am just so tired and stressed after my commute, plus my daughter is a night owl and by the time she goes to bed I am exhausted. Since working out is so difficult, I know that I should pay extra close attention to my diet but it is so difficult for me lately.

I eat because I am stressed, I eat because I am bored, I eat because I am mad and frustrated. I don't know why I think I will find comfort in the food, it never makes me feel better. So why do I do it? Why can't I stop? Why can't I get back into my groove and get "me" back?

SueInAz

The fact that you are asking yourself these questions is a step in the right direction. You need to remember them the next time you decide you want to eat from stress or boredom. It won't make you less stressed (probably quite the opposite!) and it won't make you "feel better" and you know it, so remind yourself of that before the food gets into your hand and your mouth.

It sounds like you need to have to a heart to heart with your husband. Re-affirm your goal of getting into shape and better health and ask him to stop bringing you home treats which are hurting rather than helping you. It might be time to gently probe his sabotaging behavior. Is he overweight himself and feeling guilty about it when he sees you working hard? Is he the type to be worried that if you look good other guys will pay attention to you? Reassure him of your love and devotion and explain your reasons for wanting to do this. It'll help to remind you why you want to, too.

Good luck!

cjjones007

Your honesty is your salvation.
One cannot affect change until one admits that change is needed. I'm so very impressed with you on this - Bravo!!!

I agree with sfoust66 - You need the support and to be told by the man you love that he loves you (the one inside) and no matter how you "look" on the outside it doesn't change who you are inside, in fact - as you find the real "you" you'll be a more amazing person inside and out!

He might also be struggling with his own internal self-image issues and your weight loss is scaring him. Maybe you can get him to work out with you??

When I was working out 5-6 days a week there were days when I didn't want to go - I was too tired, etc. On those days I did go but only for a "slow walk"... Ironically once I started those were often the days I worked the hardest because once the movement began I felt so invigorated that I just kept stepping up the pace

Just know that we are here for you - you can do this!

mccdl34

Your journey sounds very similar to mine. I got down close to the weight I wanted, and seemed to lose my motivation. I've found new motivation now (being middle aged and several people around my age dying of heart attacks!), and have been able to lose again. Do you remember what your motivation was to start with? Can you think of other motivation that would help? I'm dead tired after work sometimes too, but exercising seems to wake me up and actually give me more energy for the rest of the evening.