supportive people who aren't supportive at the same time?

Nekoashi

I am serious about losing weight and have been trying my best, but due to my schedule and work and school I'm eating at random times of the day, which I know isn't helpful for losing weight. I have a very supportive husband and friends, but from them I have been hearing "Oh you can have some calories, it won't kill you" or "Its not a big deal, weight loss is gradual" or "Just worry about it tomorrow"

I know they mean well, and don't want me to starve and they want me to have some fun, but I feel pressured to have that fattening beer, that greasy pizza, or have a larger meal then I should I guess they don't see how much it hurts me to be over on those calories and see the scale go back up rather then down :sad:

Anyone else have this happen to them? or have any advice?

Kaldrmjolka

I know how you feel. Sometimes on campus we'll be getting lunch and my friends will go, "Don't you miss cheeseburgers? Aren't you tired of turkey? Sodas cheaper than water."

They're supportive of me losing weight but don't understand why I can't have that cheeseburger, or why that soda is a no no. If I have it once, I'll want more.


What I did was tell them, look... I'm trying to change my lifestyle. I can have some naughty days every now and then, but those days are like.... eating too many slices of yummy veggie pizza, having chips and salsa and cake at a party, enjoying something I've baked, and naughty days are rare!
Once I explained it was a lifestyle change I think it hit them then that sure I could have that burger, but the new me doesn't need it.

bigredhearts

i would try letting them know that this is for your health, and not to lose weight... most people dont understand a change to a healthier diet unless they care about what they put into their body. trust me, when you are looking fit and fabulous they'll be begging to have the will to do what you have done!

chevy88grl

I've learned in my real life that very few people care about serving size, calories or how much sugar and crap they are eating in a day. I can't change them. I can only care about what I'm eating, so when they try and tell me "It'll be okay" or "You can afford it" -- I simply tell them that I didn't get to where I am by saying "it'll be okay to eat that" or that I can "afford it". I did it by playing an active role in what goes into my body. That *I* don't tell others how to eat and I would appreciate the same respect from them.

Kaldrmjolka

Also, next time they say "It's just a few calories" maybe show them a naughty day you had from your food diary. Show them a few adds up quickly!

Coffeemanic

I have family and friends like that. I just tell them that I am actually full and I'm not kidding. Or that I'm not in the mood for ___ greasy food etc. They tend to be super pushy when you say you are doing it cause you're on a diet. I find it easier when I don't mention it is for a diet at all. So far they've more or less backed down from pushing the unhealthy foods because I've stated healthy as a preference and not a restriction. Hope that helps.

katheern

It's definitely hard to resist the temptation of that one piece of pizza or yummy starbucks sugary coffee drink, but every time they try to coerce you think to yourself, "What do I want more? This pizza or an awesome healthy body?" Eventually once the results start happening, your friends will stop bugging you about it and will understand (and probably get motivated themselves!)

RachelJE

You have to decide what is best for your body and be firm with them. Just let them know that you need their support (not correction) in sticking with your program and that their "encouragement" to eat the wrong things is actually hurting, not helping you. I usually just do my own thing and ignore what everyone else is doing (at family gatherings and in social situations). They don't need to monitor what you eat - the good or the bad.

Katie320

Yeah, this happens to me. I've read that people feel less guilty eating greasy food or drinking if others around them are doing the same thing. Status quo attitude. So your friends think "oh, look, Nekoashi is on a diet, but she's eating pizza, so it's okay for me to do the same." I think the best thing to do is just try to make a habit of eating better around others (the more you do it the easier it will become) and hope that the people who are in your life will learn to not bother you about it. Also, if you do decide to indulge, eat slowly or nurse a bottle of beer for a long time. That way no one can pressure you to "loosen up." Good luck with everything!

chevy88grl

It's definitely hard to resist the temptation of that one piece of pizza or yummy starbucks sugary coffee drink, but every time they try to coerce you think to yourself, "What do I want more? This pizza or an awesome healthy body?" Eventually once the results start happening, your friends will stop bugging you about it and will understand (and probably get motivated themselves!)

See.. I find some are more pushy about it as I've lost the weight. In their eyes, I'm thinner now so I can "afford" to eat the greasy pizza or whatever.

TMLPatrick

My mother is terrible at doing this sort of thing. Some people thing every day is cheat day! :-|

LuneBleu85

First off: You can do it!!!!

I'm working hard on carving out a healthy and more positive life for myself (ie I don't drink anymore and prefer to spend time with more positive people). People are so funny! It's as if they want to give me permission to back out of my goals. My boyfriend is the first person to encourage junk food, so I totally hear yah! I usually try to have other snacks handy so I avoid unhealthy choices (I have a lot of food in my purse haha) and I try to brush off the comments of "its okay to cheat sometimes" with a laugh and say something about how I had my fill of bad food before! I think sometimes people are jealous of discipline and success, even if they don't realize it. They also don't want to see you starve and think they are helping! Best of luck to you

pinkgigi

You are very lucky to have people in your life who love and care for you. BUT having said that, you may have been inconsistent in the past, but this is the time to try being consistent all the time. Once you ALWAYS say no, they will know not to ask any more. I've heard one weight-loss guru say it is the broken record approach. "No thanks I'd rather not" over and over again.

GG

bigredhearts

Also, next time they say "It's just a few calories" maybe show them a naughty day you had from your food diary. Show them a few adds up quickly!

I did this to a friend once and she literally told me to "stop! and to do what i want and whatever makes me happy" i told her that not eating that garbage does make me happy, and from what i can tell while shes enjoying a greasy, been sitting in a hot box all day, fake cheeseburger and im enjoying my homemade patty with added spices, oroweat sandwich thin with REAL and fresh avocado, that im definately ejoying my meal WAY more then shes enjoying hers and mine is half the cals and fat! which not only makes me happy, it makes me ecstatic!

katheern

It's definitely hard to resist the temptation of that one piece of pizza or yummy starbucks sugary coffee drink, but every time they try to coerce you think to yourself, "What do I want more? This pizza or an awesome healthy body?" Eventually once the results start happening, your friends will stop bugging you about it and will understand (and probably get motivated themselves!)

See.. I find some are more pushy about it as I've lost the weight. In their eyes, I'm thinner now so I can "afford" to eat the greasy pizza or whatever.

Ahh, that's tough I can definitely see it going either way. It's just important to stay strong and ask myself that question I mentioned above whenever it comes up.

Forensic

I think some people assume that the entire purpose of losing weight is so that you can eat whatever you want (which obviously won't have side effects, because you're thin now, right?)

Aetarac

Your need to express how important this is for you to them. They may not really care about portion size or how many calories an item has. And that is fine, you are not forcing them to/ or not to eat anything. But just as they don't want you pushing: "thats not healthy for you, Do you know how many Kcals are in that...." They need to respect your choice and show they care about what YOU need for YOURSELF.

Nekoashi

I'm so glad I am not alone on this. I need to stand up for myself and show them it is a big deal to me when I have like 4-5 "cheat" days in 1 week >_< I just feel I need to be strict with myself at 1st, to get a good foundation started. Perfect example is week 1 I lost 3lbs, week 2 I lost 3 lbs, and now I weigh myself in week 3 and I have gained 4 lbs and have a net loss of 2 lbs instead of the 6 I had from day 1 Weeks 1 and 2 I was rigid with my food intake and made stronger efforts to try and walk or do a wii fit workout, this week I've had several "cheat days" and look at where I am now

Noctuary

Yeah I feel you. I get that all the time at work. And I am Diabetic. So I have to explain to them directly that I cannot have it. A good, firm NO and that's that is all that's truly needed. The more you explain and apologize for your decline, the smaller your spine appears to them. You have to simply say no, thank you. And then let it be that. No explanation. Walk away if you have to.

chevy88grl

It's definitely hard to resist the temptation of that one piece of pizza or yummy starbucks sugary coffee drink, but every time they try to coerce you think to yourself, "What do I want more? This pizza or an awesome healthy body?" Eventually once the results start happening, your friends will stop bugging you about it and will understand (and probably get motivated themselves!)

See.. I find some are more pushy about it as I've lost the weight. In their eyes, I'm thinner now so I can "afford" to eat the greasy pizza or whatever.

Ahh, that's tough I can definitely see it going either way. It's just important to stay strong and ask myself that question I mentioned above whenever it comes up.

I stick to my guns with them. I don't like greasy pizza - I prefer the homemade sauce and pizzas we make at home. Far less grease AND I know all the ingredients that have gone into them - nothing "hidden". As for the other stuff, I just tell 'em "No, thanks" and smile.

Alma_Sana

This happens to me a lot. It's difficult to say if they really want to halt your progress or are just being polite and inviting you in on the fun. I say stick to your guns and say no thank you You don't have to explain why and if needs be just politely say i ate a bunch at home a simply couldn't eat another bite or no thanks I'm not hungry yet maybe a little later. Remember why you are trying to lose the weight and how much getting healthier means to you. You are the only one who can put food in your tummy, no one can make you do anything . . .stay strong and be a little selfish you deserve it You have worked hard to lose the weight, remember all those workouts when you wanted to quit and how far you have come. . .don't throw it away on greasy food that's not good for you. . .or to spare anyone's feelings. From my own personal experience of losing weight and gaining it back again, one thing i would like you to think about is this : All the people who say that they worried about you not eating enough and your size now . . . When you were bigger how many of them were as helpful about the weight gain? Did they tell you to stop eating as much or imply on your healthiness then? If not I doubt the sincerity of the concern now, it may be some subconscious jealousy or guilty feelings of their own weight struggle. Any way you want to look at it your doing this for you, be your biggest cheerleader and stand up for you Thanks for sharing with us, you are truly inspiring. - marcela

Nekoashi

THANK YOU ALL OF YOU! :smooched: :flowerforyou: Thanks for the kind words and advice! I am going to try and buckle down and turn this increase in weight back the other way! I'll make my feelings clear, do it with a smile

ashiesmash

If you're getting this from people just give me a call and I'll set 'em straight I was proud of you this morning when you passed up the Mc d's!

Nekoashi

Thanks!!!! :bigsmile: It was hard, but I felt good I managed to fight off the craving XD

And my hubby is adjusting to my new eating habits, sometimes he forgets I can't just eat whatever anymore LOL