can someone entertain me

KristenAnn711

im bored out of my freaking mind, and my boyfriend went to bed at 830

Bridgetc140

What did the one tampon say to the other??










>>>>>Nothing, they were both stuck up b*tches!

Anidorie

ill try my best.
attempt 1.
A man left from work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.


incase that failed...attempt 2.
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home. The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These crazy girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

in case that failed.. atempt 3.
An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.

A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.

"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor.

"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"

"A rose?" asked the neighbor.

"Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"


if that failed...find someone else

ItsTerriC

Top hat, leotard/tails and tap shoes. "Let me entertain you, let me make you smile. I can do a few tricks, some old and then some new tricks, I'm very vesatile!"

Or, I could just let you watch me try to do Jillian Michaels. That's pretty funny looking.

Anidorie

What did the one tampon say to the other??






why do guys have a hole at the end of their penis? to keep them open minded



>>>>>Nothing, they were both stuck up b*tches!

Bridgetc140

Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?



Because their balls cover their buttholes and they vapor lock!