Mindfully Aware of Loving Me

Missevanston

Today I have marked 115 days on MFP!

Back in January, this is what I chose to put in the spot on your profile where you can put a quote:

"Loving myself for a better mind, body and soul"

I think that even then, I knew that I had a lot of work to do.

As I have been working hard to change my eating and exercise habits I am finding that other changes are occuring in me too. In my previous post I talked some about that, and I have become even more mindful lately that I am just not who I used to be. This is a little scary, exciting and intriguing.

Recently, I clearly have hit a plateau. Together with my knee injury I have just not been moving the scale like I once did. It is frustrating, but I am not so worried about it. I know that I have made healthy adjustments and that I will make some more to change things up enough to get the scale moving again.

I have been reading a book on meditation by Sharon Salzberg, titled Real Happiness - the Power of Meditation. This book is helping me to ask some hard questions of myself and think about the act of being more self aware. Causing me to ask myself; What are my intentions? What is motivating me? What do I want from x or y experience? These are questions that heretofore, I thought I knew the answer to, afterall I have been in going through the motions for years - in rote fashion.
In the last few weeks, I have been preoccupied with my mindfulness. I have been thinking a lot about my attitude and the process of adjusting my former self into my new self. I am focusing more on not what is happening - but how I am reacting and relating to what is happening in my life. I know that I am not alone in spending so much time caring for the needs of others that I lost the person that I either was, or was meant to be. Being aware of that and addressing that for the first time in years is large. A life changing experience.

Learning to move away from normal patterns and habits and break out of the mold, stepping out of my comfort zone - and I mean way out - has been utterly renewing for me. I am releasing that intense self judgement and learning to care for myself. When I slip or get irritated because I am impatient, I am working on not relying on my old habits of self condemnation but instead on being open to letting go of negativity and focusing on being kind and loving to myself, allowing myself not to be perfect and exploring the power of growth.

By being more mindful I can think about the answers to the questions posed above, instead of just going through the motions and it is just as rewarding as shedding those pounds. They are emotional pounds I am shedding. For me, this is no longer simply a weight loss journey, but a life changing event where I am learning how to live, how to love and how to grow.

Sorry for being so deep...xoxo

twooliver

You will achieve your goals because you get the internal piece - transforming not just the outside, but the inside as well! Great job!!

iamhealingmyself

I love it!! Emotional pounds!! YES!!!! how often even when we reach our goals we can't fully enjoy it because of that mental weight we continue to carry. How awesome for you to be able to search within and recognize weight comes in many forms!

You will succeed - everything in it's own time and it all happens for a reason!
(They need to add a hug smiley lol)