How do you careless?

mjg08060

Hey guys,
I got to thinking today that I care too much about what others think and their feelings. How do you careless? Give me your secrets. I need to not care about what people say relating to me and not care about them if they do not matter.

debbiequack

Years of therapy and maturing has helped

I honestly don't know how I could have cared less, when I was younger-- it seems like it's taken time and developing a mature "comfort in my skin".

Best,
Debbie

sushilicious

If what they say is blatant insults or just plain negativity (Which can also be derived from their own insecurities) I tune it out because it's meaningless to me and further thought on it would be a waste of time. Go by your own reason and it's ok to care about what they say when it's constructive to you otherwise just go about your merry way and live an awesome life ;D

TheGoktor

I think the key is in accepting yourself for who you are, warts an' all, and loving yourself. And by remembering that no matter what you may fear, most people are far too wrapped up in their own lives (and worrying about what others think of *them*!) to be giving much thought to you! :bigsmile:

rfcollins33

I feel the SAME way. My husband is awesome at not over thinking things so much. From the outside looking in, he just lives his life, is respectful as he can be without going so far out of his way and he shakes things off so easily. He's concerned about his family and himself, and that's about it. I worry, and get anxious, and fret over everything. So, I'm right there with ya, sister!! maybe one day we'll learn, huh??

chnkydnknmomma

It's taken me many years of abuse, self doubt and insecurity to finally get tired of the crap and learn to love myself. Not to say that words can't cut like a knife, but I've figured out that most people who are always negative towards others are miserable with themselves. When I've been down and/or miserable, I have caught myself being negative towards others, and I know it's wrong.

I know I have flaws, I don't aspire to perfection, but I also know that I am me and I'm awesome just the way I am. Any changes or improvements I choose to make are for my own personal reasons and goals. I have cut out most of the negative people in my life, but those who I can't cut off completely, I have learned to just accept them for who they are, and try not to let their comments and opinions affect the way I feel about myself. Having a teenage daughter has helped also, because I want her to be secure and confident in herself so she doesn't go thru what I have in my life.

It's a mindset that only you can change for yourself. Good luck

zeeeb

put it in a balloon and let it go.... (make a circle with your hands to symolise the balloon, and then let it fly away).

sometimes we waste soooooooo much energy worrying about things we can't change, where if we spend that time worrying about things we can change, improving ourselves, studying, reading, loving our families etc. the world would be an AWESOME place to be.

seriously, you have to learn to love yourself, and only care about those who would care about you enough through the worst times, and what they say and think. i mean, if you were to get cancer tomorrow, who would be there, really, and truly, there every day through the lost hair, the sicknesses and treatment, who would really be there, there would probably only be a handful of people, and those are the people who you care about what they think, the rest, really don't matter in the big picture.

savvynurse

I'm with Stripeman.. 41 yr old and still trying to master it. Taken on the motto " those that matter don't mind.... and those that mind don't matter."
I got my hair cut this past friday and sent out pics via phone to my family in Ohio and all my mom could say is that my face was too skinny and that I didn't look good. Could it be the fact that I am tired from working two jobs cause I am trying to support not only my family but hers as well? Not from the weight loss itself? Needless to say I couldn't tell her that. But I sure did want to. Since then I have kinda lumped her into the "those that do mind don't matter" category however that is really hard when its family.

ohmissemily

if your gonna care about what ppl say or think only care about it like 1% out of 100. really in the end, they wont care and what they say wont matter. and if something bugs you to the point that its disrespectful, even if its from your dear ole parents, stand up for yourself and tell them to stop it. any form of disrespect or rudeness should never be tolerated. i have kinda a potty mouth and just say what i feel. so its easier for me. chin up gurl, and brush off the negative ppl

mjg08060

Thank you guys so much. All of your points are very valid and your right, i have spent a lot of time caring about this kind of stuff when i could be focusing on myself and my life goals. Why care if it does not help you? You guys are the best!!!

mjg08060

Mjg08060,
It will take time to adapt and learn how to apply a new outlook or to change the way you look at life and people. Normally, it takes a change in side .. a switch that gets triggered when you say .. and feel in the soul that you have had enough. Then you will come to realize that those people can just kiss your *kitten*.

For me.. i have applied this some what in ways I probably shouldn't share ( as my daughter is on here as well !) but for the way i look at most people, i refuse to change because that would change the way i feel and care about people. I refuse to allow a few schmucks and their limited outlook on life change me who i am deep inside. There are times however, that it is just plain exhausting. But when I look in the mirror.. i am happy with who I am and ain't no *kitten* gonna change that !

But that is just me.

For most, change is necessary to protect once self. In a case where it may be self destructive, I would suggesting doing just that, change.

I hope i didn't go too far off the deep end.

Thanks to all those who are you for you and not for someone else.

Terry

No, you did not go overboard it was very well said and I think your completely right. Theres no point in changing because you will change who you are for someone who probably does not matter in the first place. The only things that should be changed are ones you, yourself, believe in changing. Thank you.

FearAnLoathing

I just dont care.you cant control what people think about you so why worry about it? its very freeing , but I dont know how to tell you how to do it