Very down and out
ashleyjo2
Posts: 13
Ok..im 5 foot tall and my curent weight 139...its all in my hips and a lil muffin top. I have had scoliosis so I have more fat on one hip then the other, which bugs the hell out of me. I always wanted to lose some weight and actually love working out, just never did it. I started about 2 weeks ago. The main reason is because my fiance made it clear to me when we were having problems that when he was out with his friends that he saw and talked to these 2 girls and they were" so skinny and so hot". "You are getting bigger" " I love skinny girls with big boobs" which let me note..i dont really have ( 34 c) So I have worked my butt off at the gym 6 times a week. Not seeing results yet, actually gained. I dropped pop, I always drink water all day long with one beer here and there. I feel disgusting around my fiance...havnt cried about it until today. HELP!
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Replies
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First of all why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone that would say those things to you?
Second, you deserve to do this for YOU, not for him, the only way it will ever be a life change is if it's for yourself.
Stick to it you can totally do this!!!
And get rid of some extra weight in the form of your fiance!0 -
First of all, a man should love you how you are at any time. Having said that, I'm proud of you for trying. Losing weight isn't easy and you need to make sure you are doing it for yourself. If you are doing it for anyone else....you will fail. Plain and simple. Make this about you. He can support you if he chooses or try to keep you down. If its the latter I would rethink the relationship. Best of luck to you.0
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its not gonna work if its for someone else, it has to be for YOU. he sounds like a loser.0
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NO1: you should be doing this for yourself and not for anyone else
NO2: vary your exercise routine to 'shock' muscle groups in different ways - your body learns repeated activities and muscle become more efficient thus burning less .
Keep on with your goals and you will see the results - it's hard but the rewards are there. Keep on trucking!0 -
Well number 1, drop the boyfriend because anyone that comes home and tells you that he likes 'em 'skinny and hot' obviously has no respect for you OR for what you're trying to do and you deserve better!!!
Now I'll jump off of my high horse.
Don't give up on this. There is SO much support on this board and EVERYONE will help you in any way you need. If you'd like to, open your food diary and your exercise log and I can take a look and see if there are any recommendations I can make. I train women with diabetes, hashimoto's, CGH and that are pregnant. I'm by far NOT an expert but I've had quite a bit of success and would be happy to help.0 -
I'm sorry you are so bummed hon.
I'm gonna ask to add you as a friend so I can message you privately.0 -
First of all why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone that would say those things to you?
Second, you deserve to do this for YOU, not for him, the only way it will ever be a life change is if it's for yourself.
Stick to it you can totally do this!!!
And get rid of some extra weight in the form of your fiance!
Exactly what she said!0 -
1. Your fiance is a ****
2. Eat healthfully and get your exercise in and you will get to/stay at a healthy weight. Trying to lose it all in a couple of weeks won't help you either physically or emotionally.
3. You can do anything you want!0 -
sweetie he no good dump him my soon to be hubbt met me at 323 pounds he made me feel like a Ex fat Cinderella . and he here now with the skinny me he loves me both ways and was so supportive . so point if he dont love and appreciate you now? he never ever will. Some one who cares would never say things like that and you right you never going to get the weight off till you can love yourself enough to know your worth as simple as that. that and no man is worth the aggravation not one0
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Massive e-hug!!!
First off - get a tape measure and measure thighs, hips and waist as quite often when your weight plateaus or increases, your measurements are going down. (weight is due to creating heavier muscle, but lose inches as you lose fat)
Secondly - your fiance is being very insensitive. Talk yo him about how you feel, and that you are wanting to make an effort (for your own health and sanity) but need his support not his snidey remarks about other women.
He proposed to you - so he obviously adores you, 34C, muffin top and all. Always remember that xx0 -
Keep on with the program. It takes time. Get to the weight you are comfortable with.
But before you start, dump the jerk. Unless you need him for motivation, then lose the weight, then dump the jerk.0 -
First of all why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone that would say those things to you?
Second, you deserve to do this for YOU, not for him, the only way it will ever be a life change is if it's for yourself.
Stick to it you can totally do this!!!
And get rid of some extra weight in the form of your fiance!
I so agree with this! You should be doing this for you and I cant believe someone who loves you would say that stuff to you! What an a**e!! :grumble:
If you want to lose weight for you then go for it but not because your finance is being a complete spanner.0 -
Don't get discouraged. It will happen if you stick to your calories, get some regular excercise, water, etc. BUT, do this for YOU!
And, glad that he is just a fiance. You have time to think if you really want to be with someone that makes you feel this way about yourself. He should uplift you. If he likes skinny & big boobs... suggest he lose some extra pounds & get himself some implants.0 -
Sweetheart, if you are unhappy with your body, by all means, change it. But don't ever do it for a man to love you. Know that you should marry someone who loves you for who you are. When you start having kids and your body will change (saggy boobs, stretch marks, wider hips, etc), how will he react to your new body? How will you feel about it?0
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Well it hard at first but keep working at it. The results will show soon. Don't let anyone make you feel that you are not fabulous. You don't have to skinny with big boobs to be fab. Remember this process is for you. Stay Fab!0
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I know we are strangers, but take it from me. You are beautiful no matter what your fiance says to you. Know that you are unique and know one person is exactly like you. He is a lucky guy to even get a girl like you. Dont get your hopes down. You work out 6 days a week and are probably gaining muscle which ways more than fat does. Hence the reason you are gaining. Keep up the cardio. Helps you lose more. Your so called "muffin top" (we all have those), may be off because the scoliosis, but that is something you unfortunately will have to get over. Have you tried sitting on the floor with a medicine ball, leaning back some with knees bent and tapping the medicine ball on each side of your hips? It helps the love handle area and muffin top region. It takes time to get to those goals we want so bad, but stick with it. You will be where you want to be in know time. Dont let your fiance get you down with words. If he truly loves you, than he will love you for who you are and will become and should support you in whatever you decide to do or not do. Remember, he is the lucky one for getting you!!
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Massive e-hug!!!
First off - get a tape measure and measure thighs, hips and waist as quite often when your weight plateaus or increases, your measurements are going down. (weight is due to creating heavier muscle, but lose inches as you lose fat)
Secondly - your fiance is being very insensitive. Talk yo him about how you feel, and that you are wanting to make an effort (for your own health and sanity) but need his support not his snidey remarks about other women.
He proposed to you - so he obviously adores you, 34C, muffin top and all. Always remember that xx
just because a man gives you a ring does not mean he actually loves you. men are strange beings and can marry for the weirdest reason so....................0 -
First off, your fiance is a jerk, or at least was being one when he said those things.
If you try to lose weight because he feels this way, you run a very real risk of bingeing just because you are mad at him one day. That will lead to a very unhealthy relationship with food.
Secondly, most people don't see very many results in two weeks, especially since you are just barely overweight. A healthier lifestyle takes time and dedication.0 -
I'm a little concerned about your fiance's attitude, but I'll stick to your exercise question.
You don't say what you've been doing at the gym (cardio vs. weight training), but believe me: watching your calorie intake and getting exercise WILL work. If you're doing any weight training, you may be starting to add muscle you didn't have before, which will cause the scale to go up initially. Muscle is a lot more dense than fat. However, it also burns more calories, so it will help you in your goal as you go forward. You may want to check and see if you've replaced your soda consumption with another source of sugary calories, but my guess is that you've probably started adding a little muscle which is showing up on the scale.
You're just getting started. Keep at it, and you'll definitely start seeing the results you want! (And then you can decide whether you still want that particular fiance.
) 0 -
Wow... I can't believe your fiancee would even say that to you!! He totally should love you for you... and if you get healthier along the way, then great. But for that to be THE reason to get healthy, the routine isn't going to last. I agree with the others: you have to do this for YOU!
That being said... It's only been two weeks. Give your body time to adjust. The body is an odd (and often an annoying) thing. It'll get there... :-)0 -
hmmm..... I can never imagine saying that.
You sound like someone I'd be happy to have holding my hand in public. Those measurements are just fine in my book.... besides, if that's all that ANY guy is interested in, then he's not ready for any girl I know.
It's good to get fit and I encourage that. But, get fit for health related reasons not for trying to hold onto a relationship that is not very well grounded in love, respect, and admiration.
lol.... YOU GET IN THAT TOP SHAPE, a good guy will come along who actually loves being with YOU for who you are.
Best to you..... it breaks my heart to hear of girls in this situation.0 -
First off, WOW!! I would have totatlly slapped my fiance for even saying that to you. He should love you the way you are and IF he had a problem with your body, he sure the heck shouldn't say it to your face. That's really rude of him to say that. Second, if he's looking at other girls like that, do you really want to be with him? Can he stay faithful? I'm sorry, I know this is harsh.
Third, you can lose this weight!! Wish I was 139 lbs! Here's an exercise that helps my sides. Get a dumbell weight....I use 15 lbs because I'm used to it and worked my way up to it......hold it in your right or left hand....doesn't matter.....put the opposite hand that is free behind your head while standing......feet apart but not shoulder width apart.....lean to the side that has the dumbell and when coming back up, raise that arm with the dumbell...kind of like starting the lawnmower....do 10 x's and switch hands......do the same thing on the other side. Do 3 reps of ten....you'll be sore the next day but it works!! Make any sense? Did I confuse you? LOL I'll make a youtube video if it did.
I also like to go walking after dinner. I walk for about 20 minutes a night...sometimes I play basketball after walking. Good luck and I hope this works for you!
~Brittany0 -
Step 1: Dump the douchecanoe. Seriously, a good, decent guy would NEVER act like that. EVER. My husband would never ever ever ever ever ever ever. There are better guys out there and you deserve one of them.
Step 2: realize that you are not fat. But that you need to be happy with your body for YOU. If you want to lose weight, it has to be for YOU and YOU alone.
Step 3: Therapy. Not because I think you are crazy, but to find out why your self-esteem is so low and why you would put up with a jerkface like your fiance. I went through the same thing, and therapy is seriously the best thing I have ever spent money on for myself.0 -
hmmm..... I can never imagine saying that.
You sound like someone I'd be happy to have holding my hand in public. Those measurements are just fine in my book.... besides, if that's all that ANY guy is interested in, then he's not ready for any girl I know.
It's good to get fit and I encourage that. But, get fit for health related reasons not for trying to hold onto a relationship that is not very well grounded in love, respect, and admiration.
lol.... YOU GET IN THAT TOP SHAPE, a good guy will come along who actually loves being with YOU for who you are.
Best to you..... it breaks my heart to hear of girls in this situation.
This is what a nice guy sounds like! Take note ladies0 -
I'm so sorry he made you feel terrible about yourself! I know what it's like to be heavy in the hips and thighs and how you feel around people that are naturally thin. BUT in 20 years, they may not look so hot!
Just remember how special God made you - just the way you are... Don't try to lose the weight for your fiance' - lose the weight for yourself and health! Chin up!0 -
Also wanted to add that you DESERVE to be loved, mind body and soul, by the person you are going to marry. I weigh much more than I did when I got married (although I was overweight then too), and my H still loves me and my body.0
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MY first thought on reading your post was "Dump the jerk..." But I have been married to the same man for close to 30 years and if there is one thing I have learned it is that even men that love us will insert their foot in their mouths all the way to the hip -- bite down and chew well and then swallow... I would suggest that you pick a VERY calm moment and you call him on this. Ask him about what he said, it obviously has you upset and dwelling on it. Many, many, MANY times my DH has said something to me that I did not hear in the manner in which he thought he said it! And they were always comments that he never intended to hurt me with, but he thought/meant as either supportive or complimentary -- OR that he gave no thought to at all. You see your body one way -- it is very possible he sees your body differently. The outcome of this conversation will tell you wether or not you really want to spend the rest of your life with him.
Next thought...getting healthy is always a good thing, but I agree with those that said if you do not do it for you -- and accept your body's shortcomings in the process -- it will not stick in the long term.0 -
Your biggest problem is not your weight, it's your fiance who is making you feel like crap, get rid of him and I guarantee you weightloss will be much less stressful.0
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I really appreciate the kindness and support. Its weird because my man isnt the most horrible person out there. I know he loves me, its more mental with him. He gets mad, he says hurtful things. I only got to see him once a month because of his job, so we were having crazy problems being apart. I believe he was taking that stuff out on me more then anything, which I know is wrong. Another thing that is funny is when we go out i get dressed up and look good..for example, his drunk friend was scaring at my boobs one night and he popped him in the face...VERY PROTECTIVE...lol. My man actually gave me the motovation to do this weight lose...but im also doing it for myself..I told him that once im all tiny and toned he will be jealous. lol. He actually bought a gym membership and pays for it every month, BUT HASNT WENT ONCE. Hes 5'9" 240 lbs..So now im on the road with him and using his membership...lol. I feel better now that I read ur comments..keep em coming, Anyone in Iowa? Close to Dubuque? Thats where I am and would love a workout partner
anyone want to be friends...just send me a request 0 -
Not to beat a dead horse, but I see lots of red flags in your statement above, (Words like 'protective' and phrases like 'takes it out on me'), so please procede with caution in this relationship. I know that nothing we say will make you change your mind, but make sure you really know him and see him for who he is.I really appreciate the kindness and support. Its weird because my man isnt the most horrible person out there. I know he loves me, its more mental with him. He gets mad, he says hurtful things. I only got to see him once a month because of his job, so we were having crazy problems being apart. I believe he was taking that stuff out on me more then anything, which I know is wrong. Another thing that is funny is when we go out i get dressed up and look good..for example, his drunk friend was scaring at my boobs one night and he popped him in the face...VERY PROTECTIVE...lol. My man actually gave me the motovation to do this weight lose...but im also doing it for myself..I told him that once im all tiny and toned he will be jealous. lol. He actually bought a gym membership and pays for it every month, BUT HASNT WENT ONCE. Hes 5'9" 240 lbs..So now im on the road with him and using his membership...lol. I feel better now that I read ur comments..keep em coming, Anyone in Iowa? Close to Dubuque? Thats where I am and would love a workout partner anyone want to be friends...just send me a request0
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