Does it hurt your feelings???

Nailrep

You know everybody can see that you have lost weight, but most refuse to acknowledge. Does that hurt your feelings?

Coco_Puff

Honey, They are just jealous!!!! Being a better and healthier you is the best revenge!!!!

LuckyLeprechaun

Sometimes, (not always) they are afraid to say it, because if I say "Oh you look so good, have you lost weight?", it could potentially be misinterpreted as "Oh you used to be so fat!" So rather than risk that, most people say nothing.

It does hurt my feelings, too though...

Noctuary

I had my hair cut into bangs. Took two days till I said I CUT MY BANGS! LOOK!
Meh. Then they were all noticing. So just tell them I LOST WEIGHT! Don't I look fabulous!? Then bask in the compliments.

justkelley

It bothers me a little bit because I want that pat on the back. But I also know that some people are very uncomfortable commenting on other's weight, whether it be lost or gained. It's such a touchy subject for some that I think most people would rather not comment at all. So I try not to let it bother me too much. All I have to do is look at old photos and know that I'm moving in the right direction. :-)

Ben2118

I find it funny, best bit for me is when they ask "so....what's your secret then?"....and then you see the disappointment on their face when you say "there isn't one...just counting calories and exercise "

carpediem3

When I'm so excited for my progress and no one acknowledges it, honestly yes it does. I would like it if others would congratulate me more like a motivational tool, but recently I posted an update with pics and many people look but don't say hey congrats. It is what it is. I'll get to where I wanna be regardless

hush7hush

It kills me that my family hasn't said A WORD.
But all my friends at work know about how hard I work, and they are constantly cheering me on.
They're the family I got to choose.

2bFitNTrim

Depends on who it is really. The closer someone is to me, the more their opinion matters.

bizco

Not at all. You need tougher skin and/or more self-worth. You know you're losing weight and that should make you feel good. Don't look to others for validation.

flutterqueen04

It only bothers me when its the people, family members mostly, that used to criticize my weight, don't say anything to me about losing it. I feel like they are thinking "its about time!" and that their negative comments that made me lose weight. Um no, I did this for me.

Crystal_Rudolph

You know everybody can see that you have lost weight, but most refuse to acknowledge. Does that hurt your feelings?

YES!!! It also hurts when someone ask how you are doing and you tell them about the progress you made...24lbs gone, 10.5 inches melted off and they say... "huh, I hadn't noticed".

stephanielynn76

What hurts my feelings are the "you're too skinny" comments or the "come on.... just a few girl scout cookies won't hurt... you are being too obsessive..."

I feel like I'm in better shape than ever yet what am I getting... criticism and attempts at sabatoge... gee thanks.

bigredhearts

Sometimes, (not always) they are afraid to say it, because if I say "Oh you look so good, have you lost weight?", it could potentially be misinterpreted as "Oh you used to be so fat!" So rather than risk that, most people say nothing.

It does hurt my feelings, too though...

ive been told this is more likely than not the case, and although it would be nice for everyone to notice, i dont need anyone to validate me. i feel good about the willpower to turn my body into what i want it to be and enjoy every second of it!

Nailrep

I never thought that maybe people are afraid to hurt my feelings (thinking I would believe they were implying I was fat before). Good point....

StarryEyedGirl

its true people think they may offend you if they say "you lost weight" They all notice don't worry!

Mtsidad

It kills me that my family hasn't said A WORD.
But all my friends at work know about how hard I work, and they are constantly cheering me on.
They're the family I got to choose.

Your family can be your greatest support and your greatest "weight." It's hard when someone in the family starts to or tries to change. They want things to stay the way they are.

Maybe they just don't want to acknowledge your changes and that you're making better choices. Maybe the want the old guy/gal back.

Don't oblige them. They can stay the same (bless them!) and you can do what you want.

Frost said, "Home is where, when you have to go there, they have to let you in." You'll always have family, but you can choose how you relate to them.

inertiadriftsc

What hurts my feelings are the "you're too skinny" comments or the "come on.... just a few girl scout cookies won't hurt... you are being too obsessive..."

I feel like I'm in better shape than ever yet what am I getting... criticism and attempts at sabatoge... gee thanks.

THIS! I HATE THIS. Ugg it's so infuriating.

LosingGrip

I've had a fair few people at work notice, always family who I don't see that often, however my Gran who I see once a week, maybe less, hasn't said anything! Despite me going round once to get my some extra holes put in my belt. Its become a bit of a inside joke with my mum to see how long it will take her to say something xD.

realme56

People are so internally preoccupied these days that you can't let it bother you. We live in the ME time....no one is as important as ME....ME and my car, road, job, life......

You should always look within yourself and those closest to you for validation and comfort.

LorinaLynn

If it's someone who sees you all the time, it's hard to notice the change.

I asked my husband the other day if I looked much different. He said, "I don't know. Maybe?" Then he saw my side by side photos and his eyes popped out of his head.

Niveous

Not really, I'm doing it for me and no one else, so outside opinions on this particular matter don't hold much weight (no pun intended). That aside though, some people might feel uncomfortable commenting and don't necessarily mean for their lack of comments to be hurtful - I personally wouldn't say anything to someone unless I had a close relationship to them.

hottamolly00

I think this is because they see you every day. It's hard to notice a change when you see it melting off on a daily basis. Hang up an old pic and see if they notice!

Nailrep

I don't lack self esteem. I just know I compliment EVERYBODY when I see that they look great - even if I don't know them that well. I just figure I'd like my turn!! LOL!!!!

wdmom

The last time I lost weight, my family started criticizing how I lost it. Then they said I was losing too fast (2 lbs a week). Then they said I'd lost too much weight. All this from the people who told me I gained too much weight when I was pregnant. Then I started believing them and gained it all back by eating unhealthy.

This time, I'm happy to keep it mostly to myself. My kids keep talking about it. I have to be careful since they are young girls and I don't want them to have body image problems. My husband is quietly encouraging but not saying much (better safe than sorry). I told my mom I'd lost 20 lbs since I'd last seen her. My mom wishes she had a computer so she could use MFP, too. She is quietly encouraging and reminds me to keep eating healthy and not to overdue it when I indulge so I don't feel sick the next day. My best support system (outside of MFP) are the other "stay at home" moms who volunteer at the school. I was gushing about my iPhone one day and pointed out the great apps including MFP and they all noted the weight loss. A number of them are on MFP now as well. I plan to pat them on the back when they succeed and encourage them if they are frustrated. Otherwise, I plan to let them take their personal journey and discover what works for them.

Enjoy the journey. Be proud of yourself and do what works best for you. Do this for yourself! Do this to have a long, healthy life! Trust the few who do encourage you in positive ways and try not to worry about the others.

I agree that some may be afraid to say the wrong thing and offend you. They may be admiring from afar. My friends were.

You are doing great.

cmriverside

I don't lack self esteem. I just know I compliment EVERYBODY when I see that they look great - even if I don't know them that well. I just figure I'd like my turn!! LOL!!!!

If you are complimenting them as a "payment" for a return compliment, that is not an attitude of service to others.


Compliment them out of the sheer goodness of your heart, in an honest attempt to give them joy, and you will not care about the payback.


Your position is like saying "I love you " just so the person will say "I love you" back.

tariana

Well, I think it hurts more when you are for two weeks counting calories and killing yourself on a treadmill, then your grandpa come to you and say: "you are doing a lot of exercises but your belly seems to be bigger."
That really kills your motivation to keep on diet and exercising!

Nailrep

I don't lack self esteem. I just know I compliment EVERYBODY when I see that they look great - even if I don't know them that well. I just figure I'd like my turn!! LOL!!!!

If you are complimenting them as a "payment" for a return compliment, that is not an attitude of service to others.


Compliment them out of the sheer goodness of your heart, in an honest attempt to give them joy, and you will not care about the payback.


Your position is like saying "I love you " just so the person will say "I love you" back.

I compliment folks when I think they deserve/need it. I am not motivated to receive a compliment because I say nice things to people. I say nice things because I'm a nice person. It was a joke.

Nailrep

I had my hair cut into bangs. Took two days till I said I CUT MY BANGS! LOOK!
Meh. Then they were all noticing. So just tell them I LOST WEIGHT! Don't I look fabulous!? Then bask in the compliments.

LOL!! Too funny!! I got hair extensions a couple months ago...My customers were looking at me like "what's different??"...Thank GOD my stylist is a miracle worker and noone can tell my hair is, well, not mine!! LOL!! Can't quite figure out how they didn't notice that I'd gained 10 -12 inches overnight....LOL!!

Nailrep

What hurts my feelings are the "you're too skinny" comments or the "come on.... just a few girl scout cookies won't hurt... you are being too obsessive..."

I feel like I'm in better shape than ever yet what am I getting... criticism and attempts at sabatoge... gee thanks.

UGHHHHH...Well, all I have to say is that if that is really u on your profile, then WOW!!!! Just WOW!!!

deathtaco

When I post up progress pics, people comment on how pale I am, how small I am, how stupid I look or some other bull**** comment.

So I say F em, and keep lifting. No one gives 2 cents about how I look, how low my BF% is or how much effort I put in. So I stopped caring about all the negativity and lift for myself. I'll never be good enough for myself, and I'm ok with that - cause I'll look better than the *kitten* commenting how dumb I am for not going out drinking, or look better pale than the idiots with tans.

...but yeah, sucks that all my hard work seemingly goes unnoticed.