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OT: Men Strike Back! ;p

jamerz3294
jamerz3294 Posts: 1,824 Member
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
Meet Marvin, men's answer to Maxine

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat
a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when
a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
--
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Replies

  • jamerz3294
    jamerz3294 Posts: 1,824 Member
    Meet Marvin, men's answer to Maxine

    Men strike back!

    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it.
    Why is a Laundromat
    a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
    them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
    How do you know when
    a woman is about to say something smart?
    When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
    --
    I married a Miss Right.
    I just didn't know her first name was Always.
    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
    a woman's sex drive by 90%.
    It's called a Wedding Cake.
    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.
    Women will never be equal to men
    until they can walk down the street with a bald head
    and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    :laugh: :angry: :laugh:
  • RachVR6
    RachVR6 Posts: 3,688 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Nice!!!
  • SoupNazi
    SoupNazi Posts: 4,229 Member
    Ahahahahahaha!

    The small feet one explains why my size 10 foot won't allow me to do dishes.....or windows.....or cook.:embarassed:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Ahahahahahaha!

    The small feet one explains why my size 10 foot won't allow me to do dishes.....or windows.....or cook.:embarassed:

    Bet you could ski with them though. :laugh:

    :flowerforyou:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    I am sooooooooooooo glad I opened this thread! :huh: I think?

    Laughing burns calories, you know...:laugh: :laugh:
  • SoupNazi
    SoupNazi Posts: 4,229 Member
    Ahahahahahaha!

    The small feet one explains why my size 10 foot won't allow me to do dishes.....or windows.....or cook.:embarassed:

    Bet you could ski with them though. :laugh:

    :flowerforyou:
    :angry: :laugh: :angry:
  • jackeh
    jackeh Posts: 1,515 Member
    :huh:
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Vans
    Vans Posts: 388 Member
    Hahahaha
    I am a woman....but my Man here (who does not have an account) would like me to add:

    Why does a woman where white on her wedding day?
    -so she could match the kitchen appliances...

    meh...haha thaank goodness I want a stainless steel kitchen :laugh: :tongue:
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Classic!!
  • Gator4RTR
    Gator4RTR Posts: 119 Member
    LOL!! I love it!! :drinker:
This discussion has been closed.

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