What do you do when you're family isn't supportive??

tabi26

Hi all! I have a problem that I'm sure I'm not alone on.

I've decided to TRY to live a healthier lifestyle and my family does not support me in this. Sure my finace says encouraging things and sure my kids are watching me get fit, but NONE of them participate! My finace will get mad if I don't keep things in the house that he deems as 'good food'. Like chips and cereal and all kinds of junk! He says that if I don't have those things that I'm depriving our kids of a happy normal childhood because all of their friends have that sort of thing at their house. The problem with all of that is I CAN'T be around those foods or I WILL eat them. Maybe not the first day or even the third day that they are in the house, but if they are here I WILL eventually eat them. What makes it worse is that because I don't eat most of those things on a regualr basis they actually make me physically sick when I eat them.....and yet that still doesn't stop me. So I know that I just cannot be around junk food of any sort, but I am told that I HAVE to have them in the house for our kids.

So my questions would be, is it ok for me to get rid of these foods and will my kids be ok if they never have junk food in our house?
I see his point and I don't want to deprive them, but are these things really ok for them to eat? I mean....they make me sick if I eat them so that can't be good.
And if I can get rid of all of this junk, how do I convince him that it's all junk and it's a good thing we don't eat it. I know he'll freak....he LOVES junk food.

jenbk2

This may come off as being mean, but what are you depriving them of? Unhealthy food? By the age of 8 your children's eating habits are established. There is nothing wrong with apples, oranges,carrots..etc.

On a side note- if you fiance feels as though the kids need this kind of food tell him to buy it himself and hide it somewhere that you will not find it.

beccaboo1021

It's all about lifestyle changes, for you and for your family. Of course the kids will be ok if junk food isn't kept in the house - actually, they will be more than ok without the junk food!! Not knowing how old your kids are, they should learn the difference between 'everyday' foods (good for you stuff) and 'treats' (once in a while foods...junk). The younger they get this concept, the better for their health!

On a more important matter, sounds like you and your fiance need to have a heart-to-heart on what's important for your family before he's more than just a fiance...

Silky815

I have to agree with jenbk2. They need to be shown at a young age, what they should and shouldn't eat. Your man should want to help you out with this. If we all started eating the right way when we were young, we wouldn't have to do any dieting, or lifestyle adjusting, now would we. I wish my parents made me eat certain things when I was growing up, but they didn't. So, now i am here trying to lose weight and live until I am a ripe old age....God willing. So, tell him why you are doing this, and maybe he will change his way of thinking. Best of luck to you. There are way too many over weight people now days, and I pray your children don't become part of them. God Bless You!!!!!

jamaka1

5years ago i went cold turkey to become a vegetarian, my family still eat meat & i cook it for them. I am sorry ur facing this dilemma but you will have to be strong in whatever u decide. i used to buy alot of sweets for my house and i rarely do so now, bc i figure if they want it they will get it outside anyway. i guess u will have to have a medium, buy smaller amounts & u will have to work on ur self so that ur not tempted bc at the end of the day its up to u. good luck

vxmittyxv

I agree. I refuse to buy the food i know I can't have. As a result, my husband buys his own junk food. We alternate grocery shopping so on week I shop there is more fruits and veggies in the house. Don't get me wrong I still get treats for the house but healthier versions that I can also partake in. For example: I get Sherbet instead of ice cream. My daughter recently, told me she like it better when I go groceries shopping because there is better stuff in the house. Who would have thought a teenager would prefer grapes and bananas over cookies and chips? It was a very proud day. Bottom line, teaching you children healthy eating habits is not depriving them in any way. Afterall, their father can pick of sugar snacks if he wants too.

curvygirl512

Same problem for me. It infuriates me. Hubby regularly comes home from the grocery story with 10 (yes, ten) 1/2 gallons of ice cream at a time. What, all the cows are going to stop giving milk? Ice cream will NEVER go on sale again? Then I get the guilt trip, "Well just don't eat it!" or "So we have to do everything your way?" Finally, I said to him, "Honey, I look like this because we're doing this YOUR way. Stop bringing this s$$t home and then we'll be doing it my way." So now he only comes home with five cartons at a time. I just leave the house when he eats it. Going for a walk clears my head. Good luck.

gatorflyer

Well, I guess the easy answer would be - divorce the family, but that doesn't really help. Instead, I think some education might be in order. Your kids and fiance will not die if you don't have junk food in the house - it is far better that they don't have it. At the same time, this is a lifestyle change and something that you will need to carry on for the rest of your life. So, if for you, that means NO JUNK FOOD EVER, then you need to explain to the fiance and the kids that this is a no compromise area. This might be a bit strict though. If you are comfortable having the food around, perhaps there can be a certain day that they are allowed to have chips or whatever unhealthy food. If you have a cheat day, it could coincide with that. Bottom line is, you are making a choice to get healthy, and while you can't affect the choices your fiance makes, you can affect the ones you have control of, regarding your children. If the fiance can't be supportive of something as important as getting healthy, then perhaps you need to consider what else he might not be supportive of in the future. Just a thought.

kayleeblue

I'm sorry but if he feels that way now..are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with him? Come on! Wake up Buddy...she's trying to make herself feel better and get healthy.. Makes me wonder what kind of shape he is in? I grew up in a alcoholic family..I survived in bars eating chips, candy, pizzas, rolaids and drinking pop..It's not healthy... I refused to do that to my children. I've never been a big chip eater but they are usually in the house. If I get the urge I do indulge, but I can't tell you the last time I had any chips. My youngest who is now 18 is a sweet addict. Why? I have no clue if it's sweet and in the house it's gone...he uses a 1/2 gallon of ice cream to make a shake and downs it all. BUT! He is 5' 10" 190 pounds of pure muscle, he works out everyday sometimes more then once. He can squat 500 pounds and leg press over 1000. Get your kids involved in good eating habits now and healthy exercise habits. My son was on the heavy side as a child but my words to him were Mike I don't want you to look like me...it's not good physically, mentally or emotionally. He turned his life around and so can you. Sit down with your family and have a heart to heart. Tell them why you want and need to do this for yourself and them. After I told my son I didn't want him to end up like me...he turned it around 10 years later and said to me.."Mom,,you have to do something now...I want my kids to have a grandma." It broke my heart. Good Luck, be strong and stick to your guns. Add me if you like.

nickyevans

I refuse to let my step kids have chocolate or sweets or sugary cereals. If they have dessert it is fruit, they are not allowed soda or squash that contains sugar. Basically I am a mean and nasty step mommy that insists they eat their veg, they don't eat food for the sake of it (step daughter loves all things carb) and generally forces them to have a healthy diet when they are at my house. At first my hubby and the kids were not very keen on my strict behaviour but I don't think it bothers them now. They occasionally have treats e.g. if we go on picnics or we have visitors. We very occasionally allow them to have junk food. The kids don't complain, they do seem to understand I am trying to ensure healthy eating habits.

But then it is different because their mother is nowhere near as strict as we are so they dont get this every day. I don't think giving your kids junk food and sweets is doing them any favours.

snowflakelaia

I am with you healthy gals. Once I dated a guy who told me that if he had to dine out he always wanted to go to fast food chains, and that he could never do without junk food. That was my first and last date with him.

I won't betray my lifestyle and beliefs, I want to stay true to what is important: thebody is the vessel of our soul. Feed it constantly the junk food and sooner or later you'll see the consequences.

You don't have to change others; you just can stay true to yourself.

You are doing a great job, don't let anyone make you feel bad for the good habits.

miriamtorason

You are NOT depriving your children.

If your fiance is so certain he needs junk in the house, tell him to make it himself. -_-;

My DH has a major sweet tooth. We have soda in the house, because he drinks it. I can't, it all tastes like syrup to me now. The only real junk we have in the house is cookies - and DH makes those from scratch. So while they're not healthy, really, they're not as bad as they could be. We don't keep chips in the house, we don't keep much junk at all. It's a compromise that works for us - and the only candy we have in the house is *still* leftover from Easter. That's the only time our son gets candy - holidays. He gets a gummi every day that is his vitamin. No other candy at all. Oddly, he's not deprived, and he loves fruit of all kinds - as well as whatever junk passes through the house.

Keeping the kids junk free is not depriving them. It might just be the best gift you could give them. And your fiance is just trying to justify his own crappy eating habits at the expense of you and the children. Wildly unfair.

fatlass70

I have to say I agree with the other posts on this. Not giving your kids junk food is NOT depriving them. If you turn it on it's head and don't give them healthy snacks i think you would then depriving them of all the vitamins and minerals they need to grow up healthy and strong.

I do understand your concerns about having 'bad' food in the house - it does get really tempting so I work to the old adage "everything in MODERATION". It's not the end of the world if I have some chips or a chocolate bar occasionally, but it would certainly won't be healthy to have them every day.

My kids are still working their way through their Easter treats. We have a 'treat' tin from which they have to be really good to be allowed to choose something. Inside the tin we have non-food treats too e.g. stickers for their latest collectables or a voucher to play on the trampoline for an extra 15 mins or they can stay up late on a Friday and we all watch a movie together. I am hoping that this way they'll learn that sweets, chips etc are not the only treat they can have.

good luck with your journey and I hope your family give you the support you deserve.