My eating is out of control.

TeenaMarina

And so I'm back to a point where I'm starting over. Again.

I joined MFP a while back, made friends, was doing good... then I started getting really negative and I deleted everyone. I'm sorry I did it, but I felt like I was being of no help to anyone with all my negativity. Since then I've been trying to go it alone, with no success. I'm depressed, lethargic, eating so much food it's ridiculous. Some days my stomach aches from what I've eaten. I'm starting to worry about my health, and the deeper I dig myself into this hole the harder it's going to be for me to get out. And so today I am starting over, turning it around. I pledge to myself to eat healthier, whole foods, to log - and try to stay within - my calories, and to do some form of exercise every day. I have to make this a priority in my life as of right now, because if I don't do this it won't end well.

So now I need new friends to support me, to inspire me, and to make me accountable. If you're reading this and I deleted you I sincerely apologize. It was me, not you. I knew I was at a point where I was no longer helping anyone in any way whatsoever. I want to change that, because i know that if I communicate with like-minded people, struggling as I am, that we can only serve to help each other through this.

Thank you for reading. Best of luck to everyone; you're all strong and amazing just for being here. x

rel1982

Good luck to you. You are not alone! We all struggle with food and weight so be comforted in knowing that you are on this journey with many others.

zeechick

I'm glad to hear you came back, I, myself am a newbie and just joined a few days ago! Keeping up fitness and ongoing healthy habits are really really hard. Your raw honesty is refreshing and amazing, reminds me that I'm not alone here and we ALL struggle. Cheers to you for being brave and open. My sincere best wishes!

Babytoy22002

i just want to say i admire your courage and strength to start over. i'm also starting over..my issue is sugar, it's my addiction. i need some help in that area. feel free to add me.

Dellonious1

Hi There! I really enjoyed what you wrote. I have been on here for about 2 weeks. I'm addicted to MFP now!! Lots of us have our ups and downs. It took so much for you to come back and for you to make the post you did. I would be more than happy to have you as one of my friends here.. Best of luck WE can do this girl!!!
Any one who would like is more than welcome to add me...
~Amy~

A_New_Horizon

Welcome back. This isn't an overnight process; it takes time. Don't make a whole bunch of changes all at once, make slow changes. Change one thing at a time and don't deprive yourself that is the worse thing you could do. You got this. Just stay focused!!!

cathyAprice

Feel free to join me on Facebook! I'm under Cathy Avriett Price. Lots of resources and support!

Redbella

Unfortunately I can totally relate. Eating has been my way of dealing w/ all the stuff going on in my life. From fights w/my hubby, friends, family or coworkers to the accident I had in '09 food has always been my salve. I am trying desparately to stop doing that but 20 yrs of bad habits is hard to break. If u need a friend feel free to add me. And dont worry about being negative. We all have bad days. Thats just u being honest instead of being pleasant when u r not really feeling it. We wouldnt be here if we didnt have a struggle. Gl w/ ur goals!

Terriwin

I know it is cliche, but it really is one day at a time. I have been in a similar situation with many starts and restarts. It's okay. Just own it as a part of a longer journey and move forward. I found for me, I self-sabotage when I have great success. I had to really fight through compliments because I learned (during this last restart <smile>) that I am uncomfortable with the attention - so I began with the negative talk and ate back some of my weight loss. I'm learning my own pattern of healthy living and you will figure yours out too - just hang with it. Know that there will be difficult hills on this journey and some of us retreat for a minute before we can find the strength to make it over the hill. The retreat does not define your journey, its just a temporary setback. What matters is to understand what triggered the retreat, but more importantly what led to our eventual return to the journey.

It may also help to keep your MFP friends, even when you think you are not contributing support. We pick each other up and I noticed that all of my MFP report feeling blah or defeated every now and again. It's just a part of the process. On my last negative retreat, I found that although I had nothing positive to post (or any loss to record or exercise to document) it helped me to continue reading everyone else's posts. Hearing their inspirational success filled in my lull and got me back to fighting.

Be well...

PS- And, if you find that your depression gets really tough, you should visit with a doctor just to make sure it is not something medical.

AndyBee

Totally get what you're talking about. I was doing awesome on here, losing weight like crazy. Then I stopped logging my food to see what I would do on my own. Well... the pounds started creeping, then they just all came back. I haven't gone to the gym (except one day) for the last month and a half. Ugh.

I am recommitting to this myself. We can do this. Both of us. Try to keep your self talk positive. I swear the meanest things I hear come from myself. I am bound and determined to treat myself nicely.

Take care! You CAN and WILL accomplish your goals.

Mtsidad

I admire your honesty in speaking up. It's very hard when you set yourself up and fail - it's so much harder to tell others that you feel that way.

We're not in this because we're all good and successful and in control and all together. If we were, we wouldn't be on MFP because we *wouldn't need help*. But we do - here we are with areas of our lives that are out of control. And how many things in life go our way? Not many. It can get us down; we feel discouraged and think we cannot tell anyone of our failures and hurts and discouragements.

The good thing here is that *we are just like you*. We are all struggling and trying and having successes, sometimes, and then some failures. It's not that we try and fail, though - it's that we try, and fail, and then try again.

Hope you can keep on posting and staying in touch. There are good people here who will support you and listen to you when you're needing someone to listen.

Good luck and welcome back.

Hbartels

You know, it's incredibly difficult to work on your physical health when your emotional health is struggling. The things that you're saying sound a lot more like depression than your run-of-the-mill difficulty losing weight and, let me tell you, it can be nearly impossible to overcome depression-induced overeating without treating the depression first. Why don't you give your doc a call and ask them for some things you can do to get out of your funk AND get healthier?
Good luck!

TeenaMarina

You know, it's incredibly difficult to work on your physical health when your emotional health is struggling. The things that you're saying sound a lot more like depression than your run-of-the-mill difficulty losing weight and, let me tell you, it can be nearly impossible to overcome depression-induced overeating without treating the depression first. Why don't you give your doc a call and ask them for some things you can do to get out of your funk AND get healthier?
Good luck!

I have been on anti-depressants for most of my adult life. I am depressed, I know that. I've been off all meds now for almost a year. I just don't want to go back on them... I'm enjoying being side-effect free, despite the fact that - um - I'm depressed and a chronic over-eater. I think all the **** I put in my body has to be making me feel worse than I could be feeling... so I guess I want to see what "clean" eating can do for me first. I dunno. I don't know if I'm doing it all wrong, or what. We'll see.

Thank you to everyone that has relpied. What an amazing group of supportive people.

docshar

I can SO relate to your experience! For me, food really is like an addiction. (And as someone who's worked with a lot of addicts as part of my job, I know a lot about addiction). There have been times when I felt completely out of control, that I literally could not stop myself. It's been a life long struggle for me. The very best thing I ever did was to finally talk to a counselor. I was clinically depressed. I started taking Welbutrin (an antidepressant). That might not be the best path for everyone, but it was wonderful for me. I still have my struggles. But since I got myself the help I needed to deal with my depression, I've lost about 40 pounds and kept it off for almost a year and a half. Reach out for whatever help you need! You're not alone!