Question for all the ladies on MFP ! :)

ballwebhost

Heya again guys,

So since my previous thread, thoughts have been going through my head (Dont ask me why, but my head seems to do this every once and a while.) Its most likely a pointless over asked question but I'm going to go ahead and ask it again for the sake of being awkward and just being me =]

Do you really care what a guy looks like, honestly? Or are you a personality all the way? Now, I know obviously we all have different opinions and "tastes" and agree to some bit of appearance, but what matters more?

Just a random question and a thought going through my head, going to crack up if I dont write it !!

- Patrick

MissRose888

Obviously there has to be SOME physical attraction, but I honestly think that the better his personality the more attractive he gets! Any guy who can crack jokes and get along with my crazy family while having a soft romantic side is an A+ in my book

kayemme

for me, it's really a combination.

i have my kind of "prototype" looks-wise, but for instance, my boyfriend of 7 years doesn't fit that prototype even a little bit. when i met him, i thought he was cute, but wasn't really "my type" but then as i got to know him he became cuter and cuter to me every day. i started noticing all kinds of sweet things about his face and his body...

i still drool over my physical type, but i wouldn't want to be with anyone else.

Perfectlycrooked

I find it hard to be attracted to a guy that's overweight :P
but that's coming from a teenager who doesn't have to worry about it much(:

Lleldiranne

Well, I love my husband no matter what. He's fun to be with and talk to and has a great personality. But ... I must admit I am much more attracted to him when he is in good shape than when he is 50 lbs overweight. So I guess I do care some what a guy looks like, but not enough to put it as more important than who he really is.

aippolito1

The looks attract me but the personality keeps me hooked. :happy: I was practically drooling the first time I saw my bf, then I got to know him and whadya know, I fell in love with him! He's sarcastic like me yet soo different from me. We balance each other out, I love it.

Nailrep

I'm not all about looks, but I would have to be attracted to him to start. Teeth are a big thing for me for some reason. :bigsmile:

breezymom81

I think the physical can relate to the emotional! I know some truly good looking men, but they are such *kitten* that I find them completely unattractive

jmgj27

I have to fancy them. That's all there is to it. They can be the best or worst looking guy in the world but as long as I'm sexually attracted to them it's all gravy. I've tried the whole 'they're so lovely and sweet and kind, maybe I should give this a go' thing but it's ultimately unfair to both of us. If you don't fancy the person, you're never going to enjoy the relationship. Scratch that, if I don't fancy the person I'm never going to enjoy the relationship.

That said, I've gone out with tall and short guys who are both blond and dark. My personal preference would be tall and blond but, as I said above, I don't care as long as I fancy them.

Heather75

I cannot be attracted to someone if I don't like them as a person.

Crowhorse

I agree that there has to be some physical attraction, but I also agree that personality/behavior can make a guy look better or vice versa.

rhodes2b

I vote on the combo. There has to be something that attracts you to someone, whether it is the overall appearance or a piece of the pie. But looks don't keep me with that person- personality does. I need someone who keeps my interest on many levels and not just appearance.

Perfectlycrooked

Oh! along with if they have a terrible personality and we just don't click I couldn't be attracted to them :P

nsciambi

I'd be lying if I said that appearance didn't matter. I'd also be lying if I said that I'd put up with a horrible personality even if he was the hottest man on Earth. It's definitely a combination of appearance and personality.

I think we are all biologically wired to seek out healthy, fit partners. When I see a man with a hard, tight body and rippling muscles, my brains interprets that he is capable of protecting and providing for me. When I see a man who is overweight, maybe struggling up a flight or two of stairs, it receives the opposite message - that this man is lazy and doesn't take care of himself. If he doesn't take care of himself, why should I believe that he would take care of me?

For physical attraction, how well a man takes care of himself health matters more to me than how "handsome" he is, and after the initial attraction is there, the personality will make it or break it.

JulieF11

I don't care so much about appearance...

I find when someone is very skilled at something, they become sexy. I found my husband's intelligence and interest in various activities attractive. He went to Carnegie Melon then to Duke Law and graduated with honors. He was a dive master for fun, enjoyed biking, and volunteered for a non-for-profit. Then, one day, I went snow skiing with him and he was a fabulous skier... handled those black diamonds like he was dancing down them. He wasn't someone who turned peoples heads, thankfully for me, but he sure caught my attention. Having been married for 15 years, I still find him sexy.... and he isn't physically fit.

Jeepinmom4

Well for me it's 25% looks and 75% personality! You can have a gorgeous man in front of you but if he's an *kitten* or has no sence of humor than it's a waist!

MyNameIsNotBob

It's a whole package deal. I have been attracted to some guys who others might not find physically attractive (but their awesome personalities made them attractive to me), and I've been repulsed by some "hot" guys with no personality. One enhances the other, but without both, there's no way.

There's been some interesting research on attractiveness and mating... phermones, body shape, symmetricality... it all plays a part. For example, one might be most attracted to someone whose phermones are opposite of their own, because it indicates (subconsiously, of course) that they won't be inbreeding... but one *might* be attracted to someone who looks similar to themselves (you know those old married couples who look alike?) in order to perpetuate desirable physical traits of their own, and men seem to prefer (subconsiously) women with larger hips and narrower waists (you know, for birthing and all), even if they describe themselves as "boob men." So, there's a lot that goes into attraction, and not all of it is based on looks.

I wouldn't date one of those guys from the Jersey Shore if you paid me, even though I know that a lot of people find that kind of a guy attractive. But I would date a smart, smart-*kitten*, tall, skinny, bony guy with acne--or a smart, smart-*kitten*, big, chubby teddy bear guy with back hair (yes, I've dated both). I need the smart and the smart-*kitten*, apparently... but, luckily, I'm married to a nice, regular smart smart-*kitten*... who actually looks a little like me!

alexwalper

Looks will catch my attention, but that is often it, and I'm over it if their personality has no appeal.

My boyfriend fits some of the typical traits I never peg as my type, but am always drawn too (tall and blonde), but I wasn't attracted to him at first; he seemed very plain looking. As I got to know him, I started noticing the small things I found attractive, and now, no one is as sexy to me as he is .

I find a lot of various types of guys attractive, but it's usually just a nod of appreciation, then I move on... If you throw a guy at me that likes literature or tells lame jokes, however, he definitely gets more than just a second look .

macdaddyyall

Looks are the start, but they don't make up for a bad personality! And personality can totally override a lack of physical attractiveness, in my opinion.

Trista87Marie

Im seeing a guy that on first glance I would have probably only said he's ok looking. but the longer Ive been with him the more attracted I am. When I look at him there is nothing that I go umm, you need to work on that. whether it be his face or his body. He has an amazing personality and that works for me.

SugarRose

I don't care so much about appearance...

I find when someone is very skilled at something, they become sexy. I found my husband's intelligence and interest in various activities attractive. He went to Carnegie Melon then to Duke Law and graduated with honors. He was a dive master for fun, enjoyed biking, and volunteered for a non-for-profit. Then, one day, I went snow skiing with him and he was a fabulous skier... handled those black diamonds like he was dancing down them. He wasn't someone who turned peoples heads, thankfully for me, but he sure caught my attention. Having been married for 15 years, I still find him sexy.... and he isn't physically fit.

Well said, I also prefer "Smart" and a "Can Do" attitude, that's the cake, anything else is just frosting.

Colfiii

personality definitely because that is what makes a man attractive or unattractive. I saw actually ugly man that are extremely charming because of their personality so ... I d go for the personality part.