Someone please reassure me

SolidGoaled

I need someone to reassure me that you cannot undo 3.5 months of hard work in only 3 days.

We have had a death in the family, and I have been "off" my new way of living for 3 days. No exercise... too much alcohol... wrong food choices, too much of those foods, and dessert indulgences I normally would be able to say "no" to.

I have already decided I am not going to weigh myself for a good couple of weeks. I am trying to forgive myself for regressing into old habits and coping strategies. I am trying to take comfort in the fact that I have lost 36 lbs, and that I can't possibly gain that back in three days. IF this would have happened in my first few weeks, I'd be seriously doomed. But I really think that my new lifestyle is at least cemented enough to survive this 3 day screw up.

Thanks for listening. Anyone else been there and lived to go on and continue to lose weight? I have 50+ more lbs to go.

Heather75

You cannot undo it in 3 days. You're fine.

I'm sorry for your loss.

A_New_Horizon

I am sorry for your loss, but you can't undo what you have done for 3 months in 3 days. Could you have gained a few pounds back? Yes, but you didn't gain back 36 lbs. You have done an amazing job so far. Don't give up now!!! Pick back up now and keep going. Motivation and determination is key. Every day is a new day, just pick it back up tomorrow.

Li_Willi

So sorry for your loss....& no, you cannot mess up 3.5 months of hard work in 3 days. Whatever you may have gained, most of it is most likely water weight & that comes off quickly. You're fine, just pick up where you left off.

LorinaLynn

*hugs* I'm sorry for you loss. It's a major curveball to deal with.

That said... I'm pretty sure that in three day's time, you did exactly three day's worth of damage. All in all, I'd say that's pretty good. Not three months. Not three weeks. Three days. Worst case scenario, it might take you three days longer to reach your goal than it would have if you didn't have this detour.

Be strong, and also be gentle with yourself.

suzooz

Sorry for your loss.

You are right -- you will not undo everything that you have worked so hard for in 3 days.

The good thing is that you have a great attitude about getting back into the healthier lifestyle. That is the real key!

MzBug

First off, my sympathies. You may have picked up a little extra, probably a few extra pounds of water weight, but not 36 pounds! Good lord, that would be impossible! Life sometimes throws us curve balls and we have to deal with them. Get back on track and keep going. You'll be fine.

keepkickingbutt

So sorry for your loss.

You will not be undoing all your hard work in three days. You've done an incredible job so far and we know you've got what it takes to finish the job when the time is again right, and it won't be long because you are STRONG.

Feel the MFP LOVE

broadsword7

Sorry for your loss. You cannot wreck what you've been working on in three days, so no worries there. I would advise not beating yourself up at all and put it in the past. Give yourself some positive energy and focus on that. You still have goals, and you still have a road to travel. We all do, and that is a good thing!

amandahenschel

You have my sympathies on your loss. Such things are always difficult to deal with. Your reaction to this stress is normal and expected. Please forgive yourself and be proud that you are aware of stepping away from your diet. Take time to heal your heart, your body will be waiting for you, and trust me, your body wont forget the work you have done in three days.

jb83

I'm sorry for your lose :-( I say, weigh yourself!!! You might be surprised! Either way, what you ate is what you ate... and it's not a big deal! About one day a month, I have a day where I'm outta control! I'm still losing weight regardless. I even think it's HELPING me... I like the break... I like having a day NOT to care... it's hard for me to focus so much on one topic (food)... and therefore a binge day helps.

aippolito1

Honestly, there are those who fall off the wagon with excuses and those who let their emotions rule their food choices. I am the latter and it sounds like you're the same. You are still learning how to control that part of you, I imagine, and this is one instance where you may not have made the best choices. Pick yourself up now that you know you've done less than stellar with food choices, drinking too much alcohol, etc. and do what you can to do better. Just get back on the horse, sweetie! I'm sorry for your loss and I don't want you to use it as an excuse, but truthfully, I think this is one instance where you should definitely forgive yourself for your choices and stop beating yourself up.

SolidGoaled

Thank you all for your encouragement. I just needed that extra bit of confidence so I can BELIEVE in myself again. In the past, I would have been toast after 3 days off the program. This is part of the "new me" - being able to dust myself off and get back on the bike when I make mistakes.

SolidGoaled

Ooooh my word, guys... I am bumping this on Day 4 of my screw up to say that I am really having a hard time holding it together - I am teetering on very dangerous ground. I have had 1500 cals today, it is 7 pm, I am obsessively contemplating whether I should:


a) have some bad food - whats one more day?
b) work out and get myself down to my MFP recommended 1350 cals
c) do nothing and try to cut it at 1500 today and start fresh tomorrow.

Please talk sense into me. I'm not on my way to own undoing, am I?

pittielover23

((hugs))

So sorry for your loss. DO NOT beat yourself up over the last 3 days. The fact that you recognize that you were using food as a coping mechanism is huge in itself! You have totally got this, and I know you will be back on track tomorrow. No reason to stress about the last 3 days food-wise. Put that out of your mind and start tomorrow as a new day.

tladame

Maybe you ought to just weight yourself in the morning to see where you're really at. Maybe it isn't as bad as you think. I went on vacation last week, and I didn't do my morning workout (I did walk quite a bit) or eat the foods I would normally eat. I indulged a bit...what the heck, I was on vacation. Five days later I came home and weighed myself, and guess what? I weighed exactly the same as I did when I left!

Please don't beat yourself up about it. Tomorrow you can weight yourself and get back on track, that's what I did. Good luck.

pinkgigi

Sweetie, draw a line under today, go to bed and there will be a brand new day ahead of you tomorrow.
I had a couple of very bad days on the weekend, I weighed myself and blah a whole pound went on but you know what? After one very good day I was back down.

Now, look to ways apart from food to nurture and love yourself, they are there you just have to discover them. Breathe you can do it, you are worth it!

*hugs*

GG

lbowa2

I am sorry for your loss - and no, you cannot undo 3.5 months in 3 days! Knowing you slipped a little is the big clue that you know what you have to do to upright your ship! I agree to not weigh it in just yet, get back on course, tomorrow morning is a new start - you can do it!

SolidGoaled

To the ones who rec'd weighing in, you're probably right - I should probably weigh myself tomorrow and face the facts. It will really hurt my heart if I've gained, but, it will also teach me a lesson. Then, I can plan a strategy for myself to get back on track.

So, should I work out tonight? I am thinking even just 30 minutes of cardio would make me feel better.

Edit: I cross posted with some new advice. Still thinking this over... I do think option a) (eating more bad food) is not on my mind anymore.

UGH. You know what - after 3.5 months, I am not healed completely, and I totally needed to know this - I do need to find new coping strategies and ways of loving myself, as another poster said. This death has been my first serious emotional challenge since I started.

Nailrep

You will be fine. You can't and didn't undo your success. I'm sorry for your loss.

kristilovescake

Sorry for your loss.

And I'm sure you didn't undo all your hard work and I totally agree that you need to stay off the scale for a couple of weeks to let everything regulate back out. Put the past behind you and move forward like you didn't stray from the diet.

SolidGoaled

Just an update:

I weighed myself this morning, and it wasn't bad AT ALL! I was shocked to see that after throwing my program out the window for 3 days, I weighed in at only 1 pound heavier than my lowest weight since starting MFP.

It makes me wonder if being in better shape actually causes your body to handle the treats a little more efficiently. I am not saying I could eat like that every day or do 3 days off every week - but, I think that my body doesn't hold onto every single carb and gain weight as easily as it used to. Must be when your body is at a healthy weight, that your insulin production is not as wacky or something??

Now, I am getting back on program today - the diet gods have been merciful with me, and I am not going to blow this second chance.

myofibril

the diet gods have been merciful with me, and I am not going to blow this second chance.

Nah, nothing to do with diet gods (unless you are talking about moi) and everything to do with your body behaving normally.

You have lost 36lbs. Lets assume that is all fat. 1lb of fat is the equivalent of 3,500 calories (it's more like 3,600 in reality.)

36lbs x 3,500 calories per lb = 126,000 calorie deficit.

To gain back everything you had lost in 3 days that is the amount of calories you would have had to eat, over your MAINTENANCE level of calories as opposed to you deficit level. Did you do that? Of course not.

Now, lets say your maintenance level of calories is 1,800 per day but over three days you eat say 3,000 per day due to stress. That is a daily excess of 1,200. 1,200 x 3 = 3,600 = 1lb increase.

Did you really eat 3,000 calories per day, every day, over that period? I highly doubt it. In reality that 1lb increase is probably mostly water and a tiny amount of fat. Of course, if you keep over consuming the weight will creep back on but I doubt you will do that.

I hope the above illustrates why, if you are mostly consistent, that a blip here or there will not harm your progress to any degree unless you make that a blip an issue and fall of your programme completely. I hope it also illustrates to others that you don't have to be perfect, just good most of the time. If you want a treat every so often or a free meal every week then go for it....

SolidGoaled

I always forget about the difference between maintenance cals and the deficit-set cals... Good point!