being called FAT

ashleyjea1985

a guy friend of mine just wrote this to me


" u asked if u shuld lose whatever weight- really it dunt matter- but the way u looked sophmore year... mm mm m
cuz ur very curvy- u had like the perfect bod
i always think like it should b easy to lose 20 lbs
u still have good body- just before ya know was real good"


im about to break down in tears.. those photos was when i was 110! im 130 now.

ashleyjea1985

a guy friend of mine just wrote this to me


" u asked if u shuld lose whatever weight- really it dunt matter- but the way u looked sophmore year... mm mm m
cuz ur very curvy- u had like the perfect bod
i always think like it should b easy to lose 20 lbs
u still have good body- just before ya know was real good"


im about to break down in tears.. those photos was when i was 110! im 130 now.

TNTPete

oh... don't be sad, you asked his opinion -- and that is all it is (his opinion) and he didn't call you fat. Cheer up -- the only person you have to please is yourself.

nichols

one thing ive learned in life is that you have too be happy for u first honey and dont let what anybody else thinks bother u. doesnt sound like much of a friend to me. actually sounds like a very shallow individual. just my opinion. im sure u will be fine and good luck..

GinaB30

a guy friend of mine just wrote this to me


" u asked if u shuld lose whatever weight- really it dunt matter- but the way u looked sophmore year... mm mm m
cuz ur very curvy- u had like the perfect bod
i always think like it should b easy to lose 20 lbs
u still have good body- just before ya know was real good"


im about to break down in tears.. those photos was when i was 110! im 130 now.

He can't even type properly, so his opinion shouldn't matter!!! =o)

tanzmamma

You read my mind.... tell him to learn how to spell, then you'll lose 20 lbs.

shorerider

If you allow yourself to base your self-worth upon someone else's opinion, then you will never be happy because there will always be someone who will tell you "you're too skinny now" or "you should still lose some weight now."

Learn to allow YOU to determine how YOU feel--not others, ok.

Especially a man--good gosh, girl, you know what they think about all the time! And besides, there are plenty of other men out there who would probably tell you that you look wonderful just as you are!

I remember one man (who was not from the US) telling me that in some countries in this world that I would be viewed as a "prize" because a "large" woman is considered proof that a man can afford to have his wife do nothing but eat all day and get "big." So men like bigger women as evidence of their wealth! LOL. I know he meant it as a compliment but it sure didn't sound like one to me at the time :ohwell:

Anyway--don't value yourself based upon what others say. You determine how you feel--love yourself as you are now and then no matter what, you will always love yourself. Even when you get old, gray-haired, and maybe a little "fluffy" like me :happy:

shorerider

You read my mind.... tell him to learn how to spell, then you'll lose 20 lbs.

No--tell him to learn to spell. then to get lost! You don't need him if he doesn't love you as you are right now. My DH has never ever ever ever told me I was big or that I needed t lose weight. He still loves me--still looks at me with that glow in his eyes. Because he loves the me inside--not the "outside" me.

Tell that guy to learn to spell and to hit the road.

sculley

You have to realize if you ask a guy something chances are he is going to be blunt honest, he said you look good but looked pretty much smoking then. Just use that as motivation.... i always do

tanzmamma

You read my mind.... tell him to learn how to spell, then you'll lose 20 lbs.

No--tell him to learn to spell. then to get lost! You don't need him if he doesn't love you as you are right now. My DH has never ever ever ever told me I was big or that I needed t lose weight. He still loves me--still looks at me with that glow in his eyes. Because he loves the me inside--not the "outside" me.

Tell that guy to learn to spell and to hit the road.

AMEN.... my husband married me at 242 lbs.... then I gained 22 lbs.......... and he NEVER once told me I was heavy or needed to lose weight. He's NEVER been wtih me as a thin woman! He sure is enjoying it now but when he looks at pics of me before losing weight and now.. he says WOW I didnt realize you were that big. So - ya see.... if ya love somebody you dont even see the fluff LOL!

arewethereyet

I do not know why we, as women, feel we need to ask men their opinion about our bodies.

Even at 40 yrs old I felt the need to ask a younger body builder guy that i worked with what he thought of my body size (5'2" 175 lbs at the time)

Then I was 'shocked' at his negative response. He was my friend, and he was right about my health but hurtful about if I wasnt already married I would be single....get it?

Well.....He is the one who is 40 now, was in a car ax,injured both his legs and lower back . Now he is around 350 lbs and has diabetes from the sterioids he injected to get so buff.

I feel so bad for him and wish he could get healthy, but some part of me wants to say...remember when you said.....

lockedcj7

I'm happily married and I promise I'm not hitting on you, so forgive me if this is out of line.

When I first saw your picture, I thought, "what is she doing here?" so I looked at your profile to see if you were one of the 'skinny minnies' who comes here and cries about needing to lose 5lbs so she can fit her size 0 bathing suit. :mad:

I have to admit that I was also checking you out because you are very cute.

Be friends with a grownup. Anyone who writes as if they were texting everything can't have much to say about anything. I wouldn't give any weight to his opinion whether I asked for it or not.

P.S. I don't like text messages. I don't send them and I don't like to receive them. I also don't like people who write everything like a text message. /rant

wdeons

130 is not fat in my opnion, but when I was 130 I remember being told I was fat and thinking i was. If I knew then what I knew now.
You need to loose weight for you and not anyone else.