Anxiety

magichatter06
magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
Well, here's my story.... I mean, why talk to one person (shrink) when I can talk to all the MFPers here! :wink:

I think the start of my anxiety started last year when my bf broke up with me for like a day and tried to get back with me and this was before I was to go up to CT for my cousins wedding. I had dizziness, headaches, shortness of breath, pains everywhere (under my left "girl" :blushing: ) I couldn't go anywhere without feeling like I was going to freak out. It was so hard and my parents were getting mad at me.

We get back from CT and I go visit my doc and I get tested for like everything, I took some acid reflux pills because they thought I might have had that (I'm pretty sure most of my pains at the time were gaseous :blushing: :blushing: ) and then I had an ultra sound and I had a chest xray. I was perfectly fine, but I didn't feel fine. I was put on lexapro which definitely contributed to my weight gain.

I was on that for a couple months and I felt so much better, just a few light headness here and there and some pains here and there, nothing like it was.

Now, it's that time again to go up to CT, but my bf is going with me :bigsmile: I'm super excited about that. I'm having pains again and headaches (which might be contributed to PMS) and only sometimes I feel dizzy. It also varies from day to day. I think that I'm trying to get a better hold of it this year. I still have stresses, my animals, being a bridesmaid and hope the dress fits and sometimes I stress about work. I know, I know! I am a worry wort :grumble:

How do you deal with your anxiety? I still have some lexapro left which will probably accompany me to CT, maybe like a security blanket, I probably will not take any tho.

Replies

  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
    Well, here's my story.... I mean, why talk to one person (shrink) when I can talk to all the MFPers here! :wink:

    I think the start of my anxiety started last year when my bf broke up with me for like a day and tried to get back with me and this was before I was to go up to CT for my cousins wedding. I had dizziness, headaches, shortness of breath, pains everywhere (under my left "girl" :blushing: ) I couldn't go anywhere without feeling like I was going to freak out. It was so hard and my parents were getting mad at me.

    We get back from CT and I go visit my doc and I get tested for like everything, I took some acid reflux pills because they thought I might have had that (I'm pretty sure most of my pains at the time were gaseous :blushing: :blushing: ) and then I had an ultra sound and I had a chest xray. I was perfectly fine, but I didn't feel fine. I was put on lexapro which definitely contributed to my weight gain.

    I was on that for a couple months and I felt so much better, just a few light headness here and there and some pains here and there, nothing like it was.

    Now, it's that time again to go up to CT, but my bf is going with me :bigsmile: I'm super excited about that. I'm having pains again and headaches (which might be contributed to PMS) and only sometimes I feel dizzy. It also varies from day to day. I think that I'm trying to get a better hold of it this year. I still have stresses, my animals, being a bridesmaid and hope the dress fits and sometimes I stress about work. I know, I know! I am a worry wort :grumble:

    How do you deal with your anxiety? I still have some lexapro left which will probably accompany me to CT, maybe like a security blanket, I probably will not take any tho.
  • This content has been removed.
  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
    Forums like this can be helpful but also overwhelming. You're going to get a ton of advise and none of it will be from a MD. I would advise that you continue to work through your doctor for the best treatment for your anxiety. There are several drugs out there to help deal with that and finding the one that fits your body best will take some time. Push your doctor to consider your weight,etc, when prescribing drugs.

    The thing is, I don't need drugs, I have felt fine since Jan- Aug and just recently feel anxious again. I'm a nervous person, I can't help it, I worry about everything. I just think that having people listen helps a bunch, in stead of keeping it bottled in all the time, which I do...

    Thanks for your advice:flowerforyou:
  • This content has been removed.
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
    Forums like this can be helpful but also overwhelming. You're going to get a ton of advise and none of it will be from a MD. I would advise that you continue to work through your doctor for the best treatment for your anxiety. There are several drugs out there to help deal with that and finding the one that fits your body best will take some time. Push your doctor to consider your weight,etc, when prescribing drugs.

    I agree with this, but I also want to share what's worked for me. (which doesn't mean it would work for you)

    Yoga. I was on the verge of medicating for anxiety, and I've started doing yoga/meditation three times a week. I have much more manageable symptoms now, some days hardly at all. As cliche as it may sound, sometimes all I have to do is sit and breathe (consciously) for a few minutes.

    Also, you can turn here for good-old-fashioned support. :flowerforyou:
  • ChubbyBunny
    ChubbyBunny Posts: 3,523 Member
    Okay call me crazy....what's so bad with CT that it's causing you to "freak"?
  • I agree with Max. Also be careful with taking lexipro when ever you want. Side effects from lexipro last longer then just a few weeks. And they don't always happen all the time, they are time delay drugs.

    I will recommend a book, and I am not all into those quick fix help books either. This book helped me with little things. It gave me something to think about on a daily basis, and how to focus on topics that were important in my life. It's called "The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie.
  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
    You may want to consider some natural supplements that deal with anxiety.
    I was actually thinking about that, we have a couple of herb shops near me..
    Forums like this can be helpful but also overwhelming. You're going to get a ton of advise and none of it will be from a MD. I would advise that you continue to work through your doctor for the best treatment for your anxiety. There are several drugs out there to help deal with that and finding the one that fits your body best will take some time. Push your doctor to consider your weight,etc, when prescribing drugs.

    I agree with this, but I also want to share what's worked for me. (which doesn't mean it would work for you)

    Yoga. I was on the verge of medicating for anxiety, and I've started doing yoga/meditation three times a week. I have much more manageable symptoms now, some days hardly at all. As cliche as it may sound, sometimes all I have to do is sit and breathe (consciously) for a few minutes.

    Also, you can turn here for good-old-fashioned support. :flowerforyou:
    [/quote]

    Yeah, I tend do so some breathing and telling myself that "I will not let anxiety overrule me" and stuff like that and I think it tends to help, b/c sometimes it's *mind over matter*.


    Thanks:flowerforyou:
  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
    Okay call me crazy....what's so bad with CT that it's causing you to "freak"?

    I have no idea! that's the problem, I went to CT two years before last year and I was fine and I even went to my Nana's funeral up there and you would think anytime to freak out would be then... lol... I get very nervous about something happening whether it is up there or down here...
    I agree with Max. Also be careful with taking lexipro when ever you want. Side effects from lexipro last longer then just a few weeks. And they don't always happen all the time, they are time delay drugs.

    I will recommend a book, and I am not all into those quick fix help books either. This book helped me with little things. It gave me something to think about on a daily basis, and how to focus on topics that were important in my life. It's called "The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie.

    Yeah, I know, and the thing is I don't want to have to go back on it or any other meds, the withdrawl effects weren't very pleasant and I would rather not experience them again....

    Thanks for the book! :flowerforyou:
  • There are meds for anxiety that you only need to take when you are having the anxiety attack, if that is what you are having. Don't stray from your doctors suggestions but do what is good for you and your body.
  • cp005e
    cp005e Posts: 1,495 Member
    I am going to jump in because I have some questions about this too... someone very close to me also has problems with anxiety and panic attacks. He was on Paxil for awhile a few years back, but slowly weaned himself off of it (withdrawal on Paxil is really awful!) because he gained a lot of weight and he didn't want to be on medication forever. The medication helped him realize that he isn't really having a heart attack when he starts having those symptoms, and he's better at 'talking himself down'... but I am worried that he is still not really managing his anxiety. I have suggested meditation, yoga, tai chi - but he doesn't like the idea of any of it. Ironically, few things make him more anxious than being told to (or trying to force himself to) relax!

    Is there anything else that I might be able to suggest? It seems like he isn't willing to try anything - no therapy, no meditation or relaxation techniques, and definitely not medication again - the main thing he does is try to control his environment so he doesn't get caught up in stressful things (not watching the news, talking about people with problems, etc.). But that doesn't seem to me like a very good long-term strategy, because you can't just ignore things that stress you out... can you?
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
    Is there anything else that I might be able to suggest? It seems like he isn't willing to try anything - no therapy, no meditation or relaxation techniques, and definitely not medication again - the main thing he does is try to control his environment so he doesn't get caught up in stressful things (not watching the news, talking about people with problems, etc.). But that doesn't seem to me like a very good long-term strategy, because you can't just ignore things that stress you out... can you?

    Of course you can, if you want it to build-up so that you A:explode or B: have an emotional breakdown in an inappropriate location. (for me it was the grocery store because they were. . .wait for it. . .out of lowfat laughing cow cheese.) Thank God for sunglasses!

    It sounds like he's very resistant to changing, so that's hard. . .there is a "just do it" thing to some of it. For me, I "just did" yoga for several weeks and then one day the dam broke. Literally. I started crying in yoga class (my wonderful teacher told me this is actually not an un-common thing). I find that really strenuous exercise (think interval sprints) helps tremendously, too. . .and if he's resistant to more "marketed as relaxation" exercise, that might be a good suggestion. I think controlling your environment is good, but at the end of the day. . .we do have to live in the world! "Controlling your environment" can lead to fear of the world you can't control (like the one outside your front door) and leads to isolation and depression.

    Oh, my. . .I'm writing a book here. I just have a little bit of experience here. . .hope some of that is helpful.:flowerforyou:
  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
    There are meds for anxiety that you only need to take when you are having the anxiety attack, if that is what you are having. Don't stray from your doctors suggestions but do what is good for you and your body.

    Thanks! I didn't know they had some for that, luckily, I try to keep my anxiety on the inside so people don't know how I am feeling!
    Is there anything else that I might be able to suggest? It seems like he isn't willing to try anything - no therapy, no meditation or relaxation techniques, and definitely not medication again - the main thing he does is try to control his environment so he doesn't get caught up in stressful things (not watching the news, talking about people with problems, etc.). But that doesn't seem to me like a very good long-term strategy, because you can't just ignore things that stress you out... can you?

    Of course you can, if you want it to build-up so that you A:explode or B: have an emotional breakdown in an inappropriate location. (for me it was the grocery store because they were. . .wait for it. . .out of lowfat laughing cow cheese.) Thank God for sunglasses!

    It sounds like he's very resistant to changing, so that's hard. . .there is a "just do it" thing to some of it. For me, I "just did" yoga for several weeks and then one day the dam broke. Literally. I started crying in yoga class (my wonderful teacher told me this is actually not an un-common thing). I find that really strenuous exercise (think interval sprints) helps tremendously, too. . .and if he's resistant to more "marketed as relaxation" exercise, that might be a good suggestion. I think controlling your environment is good, but at the end of the day. . .we do have to live in the world! "Controlling your environment" can lead to fear of the world you can't control (like the one outside your front door) and leads to isolation and depression.

    Oh, my. . .I'm writing a book here. I just have a little bit of experience here. . .hope some of that is helpful.:flowerforyou:


    WoW, I have felt anxious at wal mart! I don't know what it is, but it's like super hot in there and so many people, I rush around to get all the stuff that I need and get out of there! It doesn't happen everytime I go, but sometimes lol...
  • yoginimary
    yoginimary Posts: 6,788 Member
    I went to a therapist for fear induced panic attacks (I freak when there is severe weather and I'm afraid to fly (I'm also afraid of heights, but I don't have a panic attack up high, I'm just scared)). Now, I'm not over the fear of flying, but what helps me get through the severe weather is to think about what is happening to my body. My heart is racing because I'm scared, because my heart is racing, my breathing is becoming more intense, this makes me more scared, which increases my heart rate, etc. If I can control my breathing, my heart rate will drop. I may still be scared, but I won't have a panic attack.

    I don't recommend taking natural supplements. At best, it may be a placebo, but supplements are not regulated much and many don't even contain what they say they do.

    Good luck!
  • jamerz3294
    jamerz3294 Posts: 1,824 Member
    Well.... my usual cure for anxiety is:
    martini.jpg

    OK, seriously, I also had to wonder if your psyching out about going to CT? Perhaps the events themselves get you nervous hun? Believe it or not, exercise DOES help relieve a whole rash of emotional downers. When I'm going thru some particularly stressful times, I consider my workouts to be a mental vacation. I plug in the iPod, get on the elliptical, and think about anything but what's stressing me out. And yes, talking about it with friends can help too. Hope any of this helps, plz let us know how ya do! HUgz! :flowerforyou:
  • yoginimary
    yoginimary Posts: 6,788 Member
    Oh, and the most common fear - agorophobia - the most severe cases, people don't leave their house - but many people feel anxious at grocery stores and the like. In fact, when I applied for a job at a grocery store, they said - about once a day, someone just leaves their full cart. They just can't handle it anymore. It's a good place to practice dealing with anxiety.
  • My daughter has OCD. She did some therapy sessions that basically trained her of what to do when she began to feel anxious. If you don't want to do that, a good book to check out is Managing Your Mind by Butler and Hope. My daughter has certain places she will refer to for reminders and encouragement. I feel for you...travel is an anxiety trigger.
  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
    I went to a therapist for fear induced panic attacks (I freak when there is severe weather and I'm afraid to fly (I'm also afraid of heights, but I don't have a panic attack up high, I'm just scared)). Now, I'm not over the fear of flying, but what helps me get through the severe weather is to think about what is happening to my body. My heart is racing because I'm scared, because my heart is racing, my breathing is becoming more intense, this makes me more scared, which increases my heart rate, etc. If I can control my breathing, my heart rate will drop. I may still be scared, but I won't have a panic attack.

    I don't recommend taking natural supplements. At best, it may be a placebo, but supplements are not regulated much and many don't even contain what they say they do.

    Good luck!

    Oh, and the most common fear - agorophobia - the most severe cases, people don't leave their house - but many people feel anxious at grocery stores and the like. In fact, when I applied for a job at a grocery store, they said - about once a day, someone just leaves their full cart. They just can't handle it anymore. It's a good place to practice dealing with anxiety.

    Thanks! Yeah I have like a fear of heights and flying and SPIDERS ew :ohwell: haha

    Wow, I can believe that. I do pull through tho and I feel better once I've got that over with...


    Well.... my usual cure for anxiety is:
    martini.jpg

    OK, seriously, I also had to wonder if your psyching out about going to CT? Perhaps the events themselves get you nervous hun? Believe it or not, exercise DOES help relieve a whole rash of emotional downers. When I'm going thru some particularly stressful times, I consider my workouts to be a mental vacation. I plug in the iPod, get on the elliptical, and think about anything but what's stressing me out. And yes, talking about it with friends can help too. Hope any of this helps, plz let us know how ya do! HUgz! :flowerforyou:

    Well it's hard to tell, I've been there for the past 4 years and the only past two years I've freaked and the first 2 years I didn't have a job & the last two I have...so I think that might contribute to it too.... I'm just a weird person I guess!!!! :tongue: sometimes I think that I am so excited that it makes me nervous! haha my bf has never been past WVA and I am excited to have him go with me, he helps me calm down and stuff too, so I'm hoping once I am up there with him that I will mellow out and enjoy my vacation! :flowerforyou:
  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
    My daughter has OCD. She did some therapy sessions that basically trained her of what to do when she began to feel anxious. If you don't want to do that, a good book to check out is Managing Your Mind by Butler and Hope. My daughter has certain places she will refer to for reminders and encouragement. I feel for you...travel is an anxiety trigger.

    Thanks!:flowerforyou: I have a little OCD just about certain things, but it's not overwhelming and when it was, I wasn't having anxiety...Hope your daughter gets better about her anxiety!

    Traveling is, and I rememeber last year that bridge collapsed and we have to go over a big bridge to get where we are going, can't think of it, I always call it the speakansy bridge I don't think that is the name of it tho...
  • We always feel so alone and weird when going through something like this,but as soon as you tell someone, you find out there ARE others! :wink:

    Could it be that you experienced these symptoms that one time because of bf and pressure from family and reflux, and now the trip triggers it all over again?

    I have an issue with bridges, but it stems from an event where I was feeling nervous about my husband's "business party" right after he got a promotion. We were driving along and I kept thinking of how I didn't know anyone there and what kind of expectations there would be. Then, I felt like I had no choice...ie, no control. Telling myself I was being silly made it that much worse. Pretty soon, I was in a full-blown crying jag with shortness of breath. :sad: DH (dear husband) looked at me like I was crazy. :huh: (He's much more understanding now).

    There was a time when the prospect of traveling over a bridge (only certain types) would send me off into an anxiety attack and coming across one unexpectadly was always horrible. Things are better now simply because I've worked through a lot of the "what I'm supposed to be/do" type issues.

    I agree with whoever said to check into some anxiety meds from doc if this continues, but trying yoga and such would be a better long term solution.

    If you try it, I will!:flowerforyou:

    Karen
  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
    We always feel so alone and weird when going through something like this,but as soon as you tell someone, you find out there ARE others! :wink:

    Could it be that you experienced these symptoms that one time because of bf and pressure from family and reflux, and now the trip triggers it all over again?

    I have an issue with bridges, but it stems from an event where I was feeling nervous about my husband's "business party" right after he got a promotion. We were driving along and I kept thinking of how I didn't know anyone there and what kind of expectations there would be. Then, I felt like I had no choice...ie, no control. Telling myself I was being silly made it that much worse. Pretty soon, I was in a full-blown crying jag with shortness of breath. :sad: DH (dear husband) looked at me like I was crazy. :huh: (He's much more understanding now).

    There was a time when the prospect of traveling over a bridge (only certain types) would send me off into an anxiety attack and coming across one unexpectadly was always horrible. Things are better now simply because I've worked through a lot of the "what I'm supposed to be/do" type issues.

    I agree with whoever said to check into some anxiety meds from doc if this continues, but trying yoga and such would be a better long term solution.

    If you try it, I will!:flowerforyou:

    Karen

    Thanks:flowerforyou:

    Well I def. don't have fears about bridges, I mean, as long as I have my floaties with me! haha.
    The main thing is I don't want any meds. That is the absolute last resort, like it was last year. I think dealing with my innerself and talking to myself helps. Basically I think most of my issues are mind over matter, you know?

    I really appreciate everybodys thoughts and experiences! I'm glad that I'm not the only nut:wink: haha
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
    Oh, and the most common fear - agorophobia - the most severe cases, people don't leave their house - but many people feel anxious at grocery stores and the like. In fact, when I applied for a job at a grocery store, they said - about once a day, someone just leaves their full cart. They just can't handle it anymore. It's a good place to practice dealing with anxiety.

    Wow, that is a very comforting thing to know! I thought I was the only one in the WORLD that the store freaked out.
  • cp005e
    cp005e Posts: 1,495 Member
    Is there anything else that I might be able to suggest? It seems like he isn't willing to try anything - no therapy, no meditation or relaxation techniques, and definitely not medication again - the main thing he does is try to control his environment so he doesn't get caught up in stressful things (not watching the news, talking about people with problems, etc.). But that doesn't seem to me like a very good long-term strategy, because you can't just ignore things that stress you out... can you?

    Of course you can, if you want it to build-up so that you A:explode or B: have an emotional breakdown in an inappropriate location. (for me it was the grocery store because they were. . .wait for it. . .out of lowfat laughing cow cheese.) Thank God for sunglasses!

    It sounds like he's very resistant to changing, so that's hard. . .there is a "just do it" thing to some of it. For me, I "just did" yoga for several weeks and then one day the dam broke. Literally. I started crying in yoga class (my wonderful teacher told me this is actually not an un-common thing). I find that really strenuous exercise (think interval sprints) helps tremendously, too. . .and if he's resistant to more "marketed as relaxation" exercise, that might be a good suggestion. I think controlling your environment is good, but at the end of the day. . .we do have to live in the world! "Controlling your environment" can lead to fear of the world you can't control (like the one outside your front door) and leads to isolation and depression.

    Oh, my. . .I'm writing a book here. I just have a little bit of experience here. . .hope some of that is helpful.:flowerforyou:

    Thanks for the book! :smile: I can definitely relate to the exploding/emotional breakdown thing - when you are already so wound up or feeling overwhelmed about lots of other things (especially if you have been trying to ignore it or 'just get by'), it doesn't take much to push you over that cliff. I have heard of people crying during massage, so I can see the same sort of release happening during yoga. Strenuous exercise is a good suggestion. It can be hard to discuss when the very topic of anxiety makes you anxious... :ohwell:

    And Jamerz... the person I'm talking about actually did used to "self-medicate" with alcohol... although not so much lately (which is good). He's also cut back on caffeine because he doesn't need the extra jitters!
  • jamerz3294
    jamerz3294 Posts: 1,824 Member
    Yeah, Martini Therapy should be used sparingly, for sure! I have found that boosting my exercise really does help me with relieving stress, and getting into a better place emotionally. :happy:
  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
    Yeah, Martini Therapy should be used sparingly, for sure! I have found that boosting my exercise really does help me with relieving stress, and getting into a better place emotionally. :happy:

    I heard that wine was also a relaxer? Not that I am quite old enough yet ::cough cough::
    haha
  • vegasmellie
    vegasmellie Posts: 118 Member
    I have GAD, General Anxiety Disorder. I was always a worry wart, but it became much worse after I turned 30. I describe it to people like this...some people walk into a room and see a chandelier and comment how beautiful it is. I think about how it would hurt if it fell on me! :noway:

    Long story short, I'm on Lexapro as Paxil made me gain 40lbs. :grumble: Still dealing with cravings, but it's not as bad. Unfortunately, it hasn't done anything for my OCD.

    Medication isn't for everyone, but it works for me. Exercise also helps. I plan on trying yoga one of these days and see if it calms me down more.

    Good luck!
  • wanderinglight
    wanderinglight Posts: 1,519 Member
    I can only say what worked for me. About two years ago I started having sporadic anxiety attacks and what I would call "hamster wheel" syndrome -- where my mind would just spin around, going over the same topics again and again, usually when I was trying to fall asleep. It was like I couldn't get out of my own head. My heart would race and I would get this panicky feeling and wouldn't be able to stop thinking about all the things I was worried about (big and small).

    Then one day out of the blue, it was like I realized that there are things that I can control and things that I can't, and I completely stopped worrying about the things that I can't. It sounds too easy, but it really was that simple and it was night and day. Whenever the hamster wheel started spinning, I would ask myself if it was something I could control or not. As it turned out, of course, 99.9% of things I worried about were things I couldn't control.

    Phase II of the change was that I would switch my mind over to something mindlessly entertaining. Don't laugh -- for me it was packing my "mental backpack." Sounds crazy, but I've done a lot of backpacking around the world, so it soothes me to imagine perfectly packing what I would need for a new trip. I start with the shoes...then my 3/4 length black skirt...I'm usually asleep by the time I get to the shirts.

    When this doesn't work, I imagine that I'm standing in a dead-end alleyway and I'm kicking cans down to the end of the alley. Each can has some word or image on it. It's weirdly satisfying.

    I reckon these are my versions of meditation.
  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
    I have GAD, General Anxiety Disorder. I was always a worry wart, but it became much worse after I turned 30. I describe it to people like this...some people walk into a room and see a chandelier and comment how beautiful it is. I think about how it would hurt if it fell on me! :noway:

    Long story short, I'm on Lexapro as Paxil made me gain 40lbs. :grumble: Still dealing with cravings, but it's not as bad. Unfortunately, it hasn't done anything for my OCD.

    Medication isn't for everyone, but it works for me. Exercise also helps. I plan on trying yoga one of these days and see if it calms me down more.

    Good luck!

    Oh wow, I don't think I think about chandeliers hurting me lol but everybody is different, lexapro helped until I got myself under control and then I got off of it and I felt so good for a while.


    I hope that you feel better! I know I'm a worry wort, I've been waking up the past couple of days nervous and anxious like it's the day we are leaving! lol

    Thanks! :flowerforyou:
  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
    I can only say what worked for me. About two years ago I started having sporadic anxiety attacks and what I would call "hamster wheel" syndrome -- where my mind would just spin around, going over the same topics again and again, usually when I was trying to fall asleep. It was like I couldn't get out of my own head. My heart would race and I would get this panicky feeling and wouldn't be able to stop thinking about all the things I was worried about (big and small).

    Then one day out of the blue, it was like I realized that there are things that I can control and things that I can't, and I completely stopped worrying about the things that I can't. It sounds too easy, but it really was that simple and it was night and day. Whenever the hamster wheel started spinning, I would ask myself if it was something I could control or not. As it turned out, of course, 99.9% of things I worried about were things I couldn't control.

    Phase II of the change was that I would switch my mind over to something mindlessly entertaining. Don't laugh -- for me it was packing my "mental backpack." Sounds crazy, but I've done a lot of backpacking around the world, so it soothes me to imagine perfectly packing what I would need for a new trip. I start with the shoes...then my 3/4 length black skirt...I'm usually asleep by the time I get to the shirts.

    When this doesn't work, I imagine that I'm standing in a dead-end alleyway and I'm kicking cans down to the end of the alley. Each can has some word or image on it. It's weirdly satisfying.

    I reckon these are my versions of meditation.

    Yeah, I do that sometimes when I am about to fall asleep, I will think about stuff and most of the time its like scenarios (sp?) like What if? Usually they are bad ones tho and I think that is part of my problem :ohwell:

    I use to think bad things hoping that good things would come out of it...what it stemmed from was I never changed anything, anytime I would change something whether it would be my shampoo, makeup something would always happen with me and my bf, whether it be a fight or he'd leave me for a couple weeks.... so if I changed, I would change right back to what I was using when things were good. Then I finally realized about a year ago, that me changing certain products isn't going to make my bf leave me, so I don't think like that anymore and that has left me a little less stressful...

    Thanks! :flowerforyou:
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