Confessions of Food Addicts

cinnaben

I've been wanting to do this for a while, but I've been busy with finals and I just finished my last one yesterday so I'm treating today as a new start, so here goes:

My question to fellow food addicts/binge eaters is WHY? What in your life has created this horrible relationship with food?

My answer:

I've had struggles with my weight since I was probably 8 years old or younger. I've never been really overweight, but I went through all kinds of ups and downs as a child and I can remember always dieting as a child and feeling horrible about myself. I just recently began reading up on food addictions and realized that I was a full blown food addict within the past year. After I had "diagnosed" myself as a food addict, I found myself mentally using that as an excuse when I would binge. Instead of helping me, the awareness of my addiction just made me feel helpless and completely out of control. I keep bringing myself down by telling myself that I have the one addiction that you can't quit. Up until the past week, I had never questioned WHY I had a food addiction, instead I just felt sorry for myself, as if I had some incurable disease. Reading into it, I found a website that said something I hadn't considered: every time you binge you are masking some other pain and using food as avoidance and escape from your real feelings. This was something I had never thought of. Here was the tough part for me: I had to ask myself WHY food comforts me and what experiences in my past make me seek out food for emotional support.
My parents got divorced when I was five years old. I would spend the majority of my time with my mother and occasional evenings with my dad. The happiest memories I have with my dad were the nights when we would go out to dinner together, and every single night we would go get ice-cream after. Eating out and ice-cream are two of my strongest triggers because of this. I had a pretty good relationship with my dad, but throughout my childhood, my mom was on a mental downward spiral. She is a paranoid schizophrenic and an alcoholic. We were very poor growing up and lived off of cheap fast food. Sometimes when my mom would be drunk or having an episode, the only thing I could do to get her attention was tell her I was hungry. She could do anything else, but she would never let me starve. To this day I have terrible anxiety, occasional depression, and extremely low self esteem. I use food to cope with these things instead of facing them head on.

Food addicts: there is a reason why you are seeking out food when you really want something else. Instead of using your label as a food addict as an excuse to binge like I have done, try to pinpoint what has caused this addiction and what feelings you are running from. There is nothing harder or more satisfying then realizing and confessing the truth behind this addiction.
I want to overcome this addition so badly so that I can live a normal life. I am starting this process by making this confession. I encourage all other food addicts and binge eaters to share their stories here. We need the realization and the strength of others who understand.
:flowerforyou:

ppiinnkkmmoonn

truth is i could go into a long winded story of why im a food addict i know why . the problem is none of the old fashion advice helps ive been in therapy for ten years and im 25 yrs old ive been to camps been to meetings joined OA list goes on. the only thing that has help is abstinent meaning i had to take sugar and bad carbs out of my diet. sadly i will never know the meaning of moderations with many foods so i just dont eat them. i figure im more miserable after eating them then with out them and so far the past few years it has work i got control over my weight truly for the first time in my life and i figure and accept this is my cross i have to bear:indifferent: .

pcteck2

That is a very interesting post. I wish you success in overcoming this addiction. I suspect that if we have the courage to examine what triggers overeating, we have a better chance of becoming healthy eaters.

LifeLover82

You are so sweet to share your struggles (I feel like just giving you a bigggg hug). I have a bad relationship with food too and on occasion binge when I am depriving myself on one of my dumb diets. I'm working on making my relationship with food a healthy one but it is extremely hard to seperate emotions from food. I would love to wake up and not think about my weight or feel guilty after eating something. Thanks for sharing your story, it's inspiring because it shows the rest of us we are not alone in our food/weight struggles.

pcteck2

Wed 05/18/11 03:22 PM

truth is i could go into a long winded story of why im a food addict i know why . the problem is none of the old fashion advice helps ive been in therapy for ten years and im 25 yrs old ive been to camps been to meetings joined OA list goes on. the only thing that has help is abstinent meaning i had to take sugar and bad carbs out of my diet. sadly i will never know the meaning of moderations with many foods so i just dont eat them. i figure im more miserable after eating them then with out them and so far the past few years it has work i got control over my weight truly for the first time in my life and i figure and accept this is my cross i have to bear

You are an inspiration!

pcteck2

pinkmoon:

You are an inspiration!

ppiinnkkmmoonn

thanks hun!