Guilty feelings...

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katt742
katt742 Posts: 196 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Do any of you experience guilt for being in shape? I work with a lot of woman and 95% of them are overwieght. A few of them are trying to get on track. However I find myself feeling guilty when I run the stairs on my break...or when I take my half of my lunch hour to jog . Or when they offer me a doughnut and I decline. I also find myself saying things like "well...I splurge a lot." or "Im not as thin as I look"...stuff like that. I know I should feel fantastic about what I do and how I look...but I dont want to rub these women's faces in it lol. Am I being silly? Or do others feel like this?.

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  • dfunk06
    dfunk06 Posts: 56
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    Girl, you have worked hard! You have busted your tail to get your body the way you WANT it. Do not be ashamed or embarrassed. Never ever. You deserve to feel happy, beautiful, and most importantly healthy. True, your charisma and happiness are enviable, but let it be. That will often inspire others to work for what youve worked so hard for. You earned this so enjoy it :smile:
  • Erindipitous
    Erindipitous Posts: 1,234 Member
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    I also find myself saying things like "well...I splurge a lot." or "Im not as thin as I look"...stuff like that. I know I should feel fantastic about what I do and how I look...but I dont want to rub these women's faces in it lol. Am I being silly? Or do others feel like this?.

    I went out to eat with a group of people I had been working with, and I ate a decent amount of food.. They made comments like, "I wish I could eat like that!" or "Where do you put it?!" or "And the tiny one out-eats us all!" -- I almost felt ashamed, but if I work as hard as I do to keep my weight in check, I should feel proud to be able to enjoy a good-sized meal here and there.
  • rljohnson11
    rljohnson11 Posts: 44
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    DO NOT feel guilty for choosing a healthy lifestyle! Live it up! Maybe you'll inspire more of your coworkers!
  • katt742
    katt742 Posts: 196 Member
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    Girl, you have worked hard! You have busted your tail to get your body the way you WANT it. Do not be ashamed or embarrassed. Never ever. You deserve to feel happy, beautiful, and most importantly healthy. True, your charisma and happiness are enviable, but let it be. That will often inspire others to work for what youve worked so hard for. You earned this so enjoy it :smile:

    Wow...THANK YOU! That made me smile. :happy:
  • SheehyCFC
    SheehyCFC Posts: 529 Member
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    I think its more apathy then anything else (for you)... you don't want them to feel bad about themselves because you know what it was like to be in that position. Personally, I think you should be proud of what you've accomplished to be where you're at, but I agree "rubbing in their faces" seems mean/excessive. Stick with your current plan, or just politely decline... you may even want to suggest they try a healthier snack that you enjoy (without offending them, of course).

    **EDIT - PS: As others have said - be proud, be confident, just not cocky. You work to keep your body in shape, don't be embarrassed or feel guilty about it!
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
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    While I am not in great shape yet (I am working at that), I did lose 30 lbs and am just starting to experience this. Especially when people I see at my kids sports and activities, they make comments that are almost snide and rude about my changes. And most of these mothers and fathers are either out of shape or over weight. So then I feel bad for some reason. It is strange. I really am not sure how to deal with this yet.
  • kalelwifey
    kalelwifey Posts: 172
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    Girl! Be proud of where ur at!
  • katt742
    katt742 Posts: 196 Member
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    Thanks everyone! Im feeling a bit better about this now! I have never been rude to any of them nor do I parade around like Im better than them. i just take care of myself! lol. My favorite one is "oh, you can eat it, you're skinny" lol. Im like...well that's WHY Im skinny...cause I DONT eat that stuff. lol.

    I actually want to reccomend MFP to some of them...but I dont know how to do that without coming off rude...
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    You should definitely NOT feel guilty - you have worked hard to get where you are!

    However, I may be projecting here but since you asked...I might suggest being cautious about your comments. I work with a woman who's quite trim and she'll puff her cheeks out and gesture about a foot from her butt/thighs and say "I feel so fat today". Ok, seriously, you're a size 4 (or less?)- if that's fat, what does that make me (in my size 16s and formerly size 24s)??
    Just something to keep in mind...
    (I just saw in your last post that you are careful so nevermind)

    Also, if you think they're interested, be specific about your indulgences. You said you confess that you do splurge so maybe continue that a bit and say "but I make sure I earn it by hitting the gym" or "but I try to go with the lighter stuff now" and maybe that'll start a converstaion and they'll pick up your healthier habits. Who knows...
    (another update - this might also be your opportunity to mention MFP)
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 827 Member
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    Thanks everyone! Im feeling a bit better about this now! I have never been rude to any of them nor do I parade around like Im better than them. i just take care of myself! lol. My favorite one is "oh, you can eat it, you're skinny" lol. Im like...well that's WHY Im skinny...cause I DONT eat that stuff. lol.

    I actually want to reccomend MFP to some of them...but I dont know how to do that without coming off rude...

    It's hard for me sometimes to *not* talk about MFP or my weight loss just because I'm so stoked about doing it in a healthy manner, exercising every day (which is something I've NEVER done consistently before), etc.

    As far as recommending it to people - I've recommended it to two people, but only because they've specifically asked what I'm doing. Otherwise, yeah, I think it might not be taken the right way.

    Keep on keeping on - you've worked this hard for yourself and YOUR quality of life!
  • katt742
    katt742 Posts: 196 Member
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    You should definitely NOT feel guilty - you have worked hard to get where you are!

    However, I may be projecting here but since you asked...I might suggest being cautious about your comments. I work with a woman who's quite trim and she'll puff her cheeks out and gesture about a foot from her butt/thighs and say "I feel so fat today". Ok, seriously, you're a size 4 (or less?)- if that's fat, what does that make me (in my size 16s and formerly size 24s)??
    Just something to keep in mind...
    (I just saw in your last post that you are careful so nevermind)

    Also, if you think they're interested, be specific about your indulgences. You said you confess that you do splurge so maybe continue that a bit and say "but I make sure I earn it by hitting the gym" or "but I try to go with the lighter stuff now" and maybe that'll start a converstaion and they'll pick up your healthier habits. Who knows...
    (another update - this might also be your opportunity to mention MFP)

    I really dont gloat or ever say Im fat...and these woman dont really ever try and make me feel bad. I know its not intentional on thier part but its almost like I can feel them rolling thier eyes at me when Im going to change and go jog, ya know?
  • ShrinkingNinja
    ShrinkingNinja Posts: 460 Member
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    Don't feel guilty.... Rock it and inspire them. You don't have to be snooty because you are in better shape, but you definitely don't have to belittle your shape because they are not in shape.
  • jonikeffer
    jonikeffer Posts: 218 Member
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    Do you feel guilty because you think it is *easier* for you to be in shape than them? Or because you're somehow making them feel bad by you looking so good? I'm really trying to understand this because I don't relate. <lol> I'm quite overweight right now but I've been working hard and making the tough choices to skip that doughnut or fries. It's hard for me to imagine feeling bad about it once I'm in shape. :huh:
  • katt742
    katt742 Posts: 196 Member
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    Do you feel guilty because you think it is *easier* for you to be in shape than them? Or because you're somehow making them feel bad by you looking so looking good? I'm really trying to understand this because I don't relate. <lol> I'm quite overweight right now but I've been working hard and making the tough choices to skip that doughnut or fries. It's hard for me to imagine feeling bad about it once I'm in shape. :huh:

    No its definately not that I think its easier. Its hard for me to stay in shape...I work very hard. I guess I just feel bad that they are struggling and THEY think it comes easier to me. They complain all the time and when I chime in its like "OH, well you're skinny and young you dont have to worry about it". THAT makes me feel guilty!! Like...I work HARD to be skinny. I would much rather sit on my butt for my hour lunch and eat McDonalds, but I go jog for a half hour and then eat my ham and cheese on wheat! I make sacrifices to look this way. I do splurge occasionally because I deserve it. I can't eat doughnuts everyday because "Im skinny" lol.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    I really dont gloat or ever say Im fat...and these woman dont really ever try and make me feel bad. I know its not intentional on thier part but its almost like I can feel them rolling thier eyes at me when Im going to change and go jog, ya know?

    When you put it that way, I TOTALLY get what you're saying. There are some folks I work with who DO roll their eyes when I walk over to grab my workout buddy and head to the gym. Thankfully there are others who are very supportive too.

    I guess all you can do is just try to get past those feelings and don't let the guilt bring you down or give you an excuse to backtrack! It's all about choices...you choose to eat better and exercise and they choose to do what they do.
  • katt742
    katt742 Posts: 196 Member
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    I really dont gloat or ever say Im fat...and these woman dont really ever try and make me feel bad. I know its not intentional on thier part but its almost like I can feel them rolling thier eyes at me when Im going to change and go jog, ya know?

    When you put it that way, I TOTALLY get what you're saying. There are some folks I work with who DO roll their eyes when I walk over to grab my workout buddy and head to the gym. Thankfully there are others who are very supportive too.

    I guess all you can do is just try to get past those feelings and don't let the guilt bring you down or give you an excuse to backtrack! It's all about choices...you choose to eat better and exercise and they choose to do what they do.

    Right? So its like I feel guilty for going to work out because they are being snarky lol. I guess it just goes back to the playground days...no one wants other people to roll their eyes at them or poke fun at their lifestyle. But I shouldn't feel ashamed for trying to be healty!

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