Need to vent about my eating habits...

RichGebs

alright so... I need to vent realllllyyyy badly here. I'll start off by saying that I am not looking to lose weight anymore but I am just trying to maintain since I have reached my goal. Tonight I caved into a piece of chocolate cake... Fml sure imnstill well under my goal of calories, but I just hate the fact of eating it especially after eating out for dinner the same night. Now I feel absolutely terrible and I beat myself up about it sooooooo easily and I just feel bloated and feel like I'm going to be gaining weight back... Anyway to make myself feel better and to make myself happy again, I usually don't eat barely at all the next day. So tomorrow I am going to barely eat just so I can make myself feel better about myself and then get back on track tuesday.

The second huge issue is my mom. And kind of my dad..... But mainly my mom. As of febuary, I was 157 lbs. She thinks I'm way to skinny as it is and she doesn't approve of my eating at all and it has caused many issues and problems between us. She still thinks I weight 157-160lbs to this day and she thinks I stopped tracking my food on MFP... But she doesn't know I still track and that I'm 149lbs. If she found out this information, she would kill me and our relationship would be completely different. I'm scared, SO SCARED to tell my parents my true weight. I cant gain that weight back, it makes me feel so uncomfortable but the way that I am now, I feel a little more comfortable.

The third and final problem is that I am now officially the only skinny/in shape member of my family. Even my 13 year old sister and 13 year old cousin are getting to be fat. My sister weighs more than me!! With my parents and kind of my family seeing me shrink every time they see me, they think I'm anorexic and they don't like it. This whole thing is getting out of proportion and i just want it to end... but I need to do what's best for me at the same time.

AHHHHHHH that felt ao good to get off my chest I feel a little better.

allystone

I think 157 is a little chunky, you shouldn't be reprimended for trying to better your life. I'm sorry.

megz4987

To be honest, anorexic or not, you dont have a healthy relationship with food. It was a peice of cake and tomorrow's another day. Exercise an extra 30minutes tomorrow, don't starve yourself. You're doing more harm than good to your body and your mind.

krixi

how tall are you, or what is your BMI? although bmi isn't completely accurate, and you have to take into account your frame, its a good guide. maybe you can refer to your bmi number when talking to your mom about your weight? if you're in the healthy weight range, surely your mom should understand that there's nothing wrong with losing the excess weight in order to be healthy!

megz4987

I think 157 is a little chunky, you shouldn't be reprimended for trying to better your life. I'm sorry.

That's not vry encouraging... you don't know how tall he is and 157 is actually pretty fit for most men over like 5'8

quietlywinning

I'm sorry your family isn't supportive of your healthy changes and in-shape body. Congratulations on making your goal!

Don't beat yourself up - just know how great you are doing and remind yourself you have done great and feel better. You didn't say how tall you are or what your recommended healthy weight are, but if you feel better, you have made great progress and should be congratulated, supported and admired by your family and by yourself.

I hope you can find someone who is very supportive in person. This is a great site with lots of support - so keep logging on here, too!

RichGebs

I think 157 is a little chunky, you shouldn't be reprimended for trying to better your life. I'm sorry.

157 is the normal weight for an athletic 17 year old boy athlete like me. But I've gone down so much in weight it's effecting my life in such a negative way.. But I need to be at this weight of a lower standard to be happy... Looks like everyone is just trying to tell my I can't be happy and have everyone around me happy as well..

guppygirl322

Honestly, I wouldn't be so concerned about the cake. You've come a long way and a piece of cake isn't going to ruin anything as long as you stay on track. Don't starve yourself, just eat normally and if anything, get a little more exercise.

YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING. There is so much evidence out there about how being overweight is harmful to the body. To quote Richard Simmons over 30 years ago, "Fat people die young." They do. Your family should be proud and inspired by what you have done for yourself. Unfortunately, it seems they are all caught up in their own lifestyles and to them, you probably do look too thin because they see themselves as normal.

Stand your ground. You have your whole life ahead of you and you want to live long, without pain, without health issues later on in life.

RichGebs

how tall are you, or what is your BMI? although bmi isn't completely accurate, and you have to take into account your frame, its a good guide. maybe you can refer to your bmi number when talking to your mom about your weight? if you're in the healthy weight range, surely your mom should understand that there's nothing wrong with losing the excess weight in order to be healthy!

I am a 17 year old athlete male. I am 5'9" and I have 7% body fat on me according to my nutritionist. But heat I lack in fat, I make up for lean muscle which is beyond and WAY HIGHER than usual males. I have a V shaped frame too.

utah_angel1971

you gave us your weight, but not your height. DONT go by lbs necessarily without looking at your height. the other thing is, look at your BMI. If it is within the healthy range than to heck with the lbs.
Your family? i get it. but hon parents are going to worry about their daughters no matter what. You will never stop it just like no child before you has been able to. You have to tell your parents its YOUR choice, its what makes you happy.
Now where i'm really concerned is that you may be developing a bad relationship with food. I know i've been there. Even though i have a disorder that causes my weight, and i have low thyroid? i work out tons and never lose. *until i got on medication*. The point is i would rarely eat. i wasnt eating nearly enough. I knew i was already fat, why add it by eating too much. Now i understand the biomechanics of calories, muscle mass, burning calories, metabolism etc. i get it!
BUT having one piece of chocolate cake is not going to destroy all that you've worked for. In weight watchers, nutri system, all those programs they all stress the same thing. allow yourself those treats. Why do you think nutrisystem and jenny craig etc all offer desserts on their menu, including *gasp* chocolate cake. I joined WW's to not eat least to but eat more, to show myself how much i could eat and still be healthy. I remember one meeting they said. If you can eat one piece of chocolate cake, that one slice of pizza, that one serving of potato chips, then good, enjoy it and eat up. IF you cant stop at just one slice of cake and have to go back for more, than you should probably avoid it.
I am worried that you're going to get in a habit of self abuse with food. As you said, i ate the chocolate cake so i dont eat anything tomorrow to make myself feel better. Thats not how it works. IF you avoid and starve yourself of those little pleasures, when you DO eat it? you're going to over indulge and over eat. This all sounds like a self esteem issue. Hon you dont beat yourself up over it. If the rest of the day, the rest of the week you are doing so well in what you eat? why not reward yourself with a small sliver of chocolate cake just to make yourself feel good about everything else you're doing? Keep up teh good work but remember those simple pleasures ARENT a sin, they are pleasureable as long as you can keep it in moderation
Please friend me if you'd like.

RichGebs

I AM A BOY!!!!!!!!! Lol and in one of my previous comments I have all my info!!!!!

RichGebs

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sarahlyzzibeth

Hi!
It sounds like you have quite a bit on your mind. The first thing I would say is even if you do mess up one day (ie, having a little too much chocolate cake), that doesn't mean you should starve yourself the next day. I know you feel like you should to "make up" for it... believe me, I sometimes want to do it too. But our bodies need nutrition to work their best, and if you deprive your body of the nutrients it needs, you are putting yourself at risk for slowing down your metabolism or even gaining weight because your body will want to retain as much of the food you eat as it can and you will burn less calories naturally. Another thing to remember is that you shouldn't beat yourself up about eating something tasty, especially if it doesn't put you over your calorie goal (but even if it does put you over, still, don't be upset at yourself). Eating healthy is extremely difficult, especially when the people around you aren't supportive. That's why you need to be supportive of yourself. If you mess up, then tell yourself "Whoops, I promise myself to do better next time" and then do it, because focusing on the negative will make it harder to do what's right next time. I know that when I overeat, I think "well, since I had ice cream for lunch, it won't matter if I have pizza for dinner" which isn't the right attitude.
One trick that I use is if I feel tempted to eat something even if I don't have any calories left is to go and brush my teeth. The minty flavor sometimes helps distract me from wanting the chocolate or chips or whatever it was. Then, if 20 minutes later I am still hungry, I try to incorporate a small portion of the junk food with something nutritious that will fill me up (something with protein or fiber) so I don't feel hungry anymore. For example, if I'm really craving chocolate, I will eat a banana with a tablespoon of chocolate chips sprinkled on top. Or, if I'm craving something salty like chips, i'll have a handful of almonds (there are some varieties of almonds with flavors like barbeque or chili/lime that are super yummy!) Another trick is if you're bored and want to eat because of it, find something to do! Call a friend, walk the dog, read a book, do a jigsaw or sodoku puzzle, do something arts-n-craftsy... preferably something that requires the use of your hands so you can't eat while you do it. I know if I'm hungry and try to distract myself with the TV, that makes it even harder since not only are there tons of food commercials on TV, there's also nothing preventing me from shoveling an entire bag of M&Ms in my mouth without even noticing since I'm concentrated on my show.
As for not having the support of your family, that must be so difficult. Have you ever been able to talk to them about your reasons for wanting to be healthy? I know sometimes it's not possible to have conversations like that, though, especially if your parents are already decided on what their answer is going to be. I wish I had more ideas for that one, but one thing I could say is to just keep the peace... bringing up issues especially if you know it won't help will only bring you and your mother further apart. If you are able to rebuild your relationship, maybe when things are less rocky between you two, she will listen to what you have to say.
Good luck!!

RichGebs

Hi!
It sounds like you have quite a bit on your mind. The first thing I would say is even if you do mess up one day (ie, having a little too much chocolate cake), that doesn't mean you should starve yourself the next day. I know you feel like you should to "make up" for it... believe me, I sometimes want to do it too. But our bodies need nutrition to work their best, and if you deprive your body of the nutrients it needs, you are putting yourself at risk for slowing down your metabolism or even gaining weight because your body will want to retain as much of the food you eat as it can and you will burn less calories naturally. Another thing to remember is that you shouldn't beat yourself up about eating something tasty, especially if it doesn't put you over your calorie goal (but even if it does put you over, still, don't be upset at yourself). Eating healthy is extremely difficult, especially when the people around you aren't supportive. That's why you need to be supportive of yourself. If you mess up, then tell yourself "Whoops, I promise myself to do better next time" and then do it, because focusing on the negative will make it harder to do what's right next time. I know that when I overeat, I think "well, since I had ice cream for lunch, it won't matter if I have pizza for dinner" which isn't the right attitude.
One trick that I use is if I feel tempted to eat something even if I don't have any calories left is to go and brush my teeth. The minty flavor sometimes helps distract me from wanting the chocolate or chips or whatever it was. Then, if 20 minutes later I am still hungry, I try to incorporate a small portion of the junk food with something nutritious that will fill me up (something with protein or fiber) so I don't feel hungry anymore. For example, if I'm really craving chocolate, I will eat a banana with a tablespoon of chocolate chips sprinkled on top. Or, if I'm craving something salty like chips, i'll have a handful of almonds (there are some varieties of almonds with flavors like barbeque or chili/lime that are super yummy!) Another trick is if you're bored and want to eat because of it, find something to do! Call a friend, walk the dog, read a book, do a jigsaw or sodoku puzzle, do something arts-n-craftsy... preferably something that requires the use of your hands so you can't eat while you do it. I know if I'm hungry and try to distract myself with the TV, that makes it even harder since not only are there tons of food commercials on TV, there's also nothing preventing me from shoveling an entire bag of M&Ms in my mouth without even noticing since I'm concentrated on my show.
As for not having the support of your family, that must be so difficult. Have you ever been able to talk to them about your reasons for wanting to be healthy? I know sometimes it's not possible to have conversations like that, though, especially if your parents are already decided on what their answer is going to be. I wish I had more ideas for that one, but one thing I could say is to just keep the peace... bringing up issues especially if you know it won't help will only bring you and your mother further apart. If you are able to rebuild your relationship, maybe when things are less rocky between you two, she will listen to what you have to say.
Good luck!!

This is amazing. I am so happy you took the time to type all of this. Everything you said was so touching. Thank you so much for your support!

ChristineM79

Rich, darlin, dont beat yourself up about a piece of cake. Not eating anything tomorrow to make up for it? Gonna do your body more harm than good. You will put your body into starvation mode, and throw your metabolism all off.
One more thing dear...you're 17. You should be much more concerned about graduating high school, going to college, or who you are taking to prom than you are about every little piece of food you put into your body. Here is what I have learned in life: dont sweat the small stuff. Its OK to have a treat for yourself now and then. Everything in moderation. One piece of cake here and there isnt going to kill ya. Relax! If you are really feeling THAT guilty about it, go for a run/walk, get some exercise of some sort, and burn it off. Then LET IT GO. Im sure even Jillian Michaels has a piece of cake now and then. If you need someone to vent to, add me as a friend. I was 17...awhile...ago. :-) But Ive been where you are, and I know how it goes. Please feel free to ask me anything.

ceschwartz

I think either your parents feeling guilty about their own weight, thus turning the negativity on you to help themselves feel better, or they are actually scarred and concerned about your health. Probably because they hear things like, "I ate a pieces of cake and now I need to starve myself."

I would try to be more open with them. Maybe get them to do small things with you like take a walk or let you cook a healthy meal once a week. If the family starts taking baby steps with you, maybe they'll understand your position. Give them some time. As long as you are being healthy about weight loss everything will workout.

sarahlyzzibeth

I'm glad it made you feel better.

RichGebs

Rich, darlin, dont beat yourself up about a piece of cake. Not eating anything tomorrow to make up for it? Gonna do your body more harm than good. You will put your body into starvation mode, and throw your metabolism all off.
One more thing dear...you're 17. You should be much more concerned about graduating high school, going to college, or who you are taking to prom than you are about every little piece of food you put into your body. Here is what I have learned in life: dont sweat the small stuff. Its OK to have a treat for yourself now and then. Everything in moderation. One piece of cake here and there isnt going to kill ya. Relax! If you are really feeling THAT guilty about it, go for a run/walk, get some exercise of some sort, and burn it off. Then LET IT GO. Im sure even Jillian Michaels has a piece of cake now and then. If you need someone to vent to, add me as a friend. I was 17...awhile...ago. :-) But Ive been where you are, and I know how it goes. Please feel free to ask me anything.

Thanks so much. And yeah I haven't enjoyed one bit of high school yet because I have been going through this terrible time I never used to diet and watch what I ate and I enjoyed my life so much before that but now my life is dwindling away and I'm becoming less and less happy. Damn.. But yeah going into my senior year is going to be tough, and I plan on going to the university of maryland for college so I'm all set with that hah . Thanks again for your post

guppygirl322

As for not having the support of your family, that must be so difficult. Have you ever been able to talk to them about your reasons for wanting to be healthy? I know sometimes it's not possible to have conversations like that, though, especially if your parents are already decided on what their answer is going to be. I wish I had more ideas for that one, but one thing I could say is to just keep the peace... bringing up issues especially if you know it won't help will only bring you and your mother further apart. If you are able to rebuild your relationship, maybe when things are less rocky between you two, she will listen to what you have to say.
Good luck!!

Do the research about how bad being overweight is. The next time anyone in your family tries to sabotage you, turn the tables on them. Tell them how much YOU care about THEM and that YOU want THEM to be healthy. Then tell them all the reasons why being overweight is bad. How it increases your risk of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, etc. Tell them, especially your mom, how much you want her to be there for you for a LONG time, and how you want to live a long and healthy life. Changing your lifestyle isn't just about how you look. I have over 20 pounds to go. I'm not doing this to look good in a bikini. Geez, I'm 42, I could care less what anyone thinks about how I look. I have a seven year old daughter. I want to be healthy so I have the energy to play with her. I want to be around when she graduates high school and not full of aches and pains all the time. I want to cry at her wedding. I want to be able to baby sit my grandchildren. You are so young and you have made the decision to nip your bad habits in the bud before they become life long habits. Good for you. Tell your mom how much you love her but that you are becoming a man now and are taking responsibility for your health.

RichGebs

I think either your parents feeling guilty about their own weight, thus turning the negativity on you to help themselves feel better, or they are actually scarred and concerned about your health. Probably because they hear things like, "I ate a pieces of cake and now I need to starve myself."

I would try to be more open with them. Maybe get them to do small things with you like take a walk or let you cook a healthy meal once a week. If the family starts taking baby steps with you, maybe they'll understand your position. Give them some time. As long as you are being healthy about weight loss everything will workout.

You have a great point too. My parents used to be the skinniest people back in their 30s but ever since they had my sister and me, they have become obese. They don't like walks too much especially my dad and I'm scared very much for my health as well but I just don't know what too do anymore...

RichGebs

As for not having the support of your family, that must be so difficult. Have you ever been able to talk to them about your reasons for wanting to be healthy? I know sometimes it's not possible to have conversations like that, though, especially if your parents are already decided on what their answer is going to be. I wish I had more ideas for that one, but one thing I could say is to just keep the peace... bringing up issues especially if you know it won't help will only bring you and your mother further apart. If you are able to rebuild your relationship, maybe when things are less rocky between you two, she will listen to what you have to say.
Good luck!!

Do the research about how bad being overweight is. The next time anyone in your family tries to sabotage you, turn the tables on them. Tell them how much YOU care about THEM and that YOU want THEM to be healthy. Then tell them all the reasons why being overweight is bad. How it increases your risk of heart disease, diabetes, stroke, etc. Tell them, especially your mom, how much you want her to be there for you for a LONG time, and how you want to live a long and healthy life. Changing your lifestyle isn't just about how you look. I have over 20 pounds to go. I'm not doing this to look good in a bikini. Geez, I'm 42, I could care less what anyone thinks about how I look. I have a seven year old daughter. I want to be healthy so I have the energy to play with her. I want to be around when she graduates high school and not full of aches and pains all the time. I want to cry at her wedding. I want to be able to baby sit my grandchildren. You are so young and you have made the decision to nip your bad habits in the bud before they become life long habits. Good for you. Tell your mom how much you love her but that you are becoming a man now and are taking responsibility for your health.

I will try this.. I hope she understands I have told them my concern with their obesity but they just don't give a crap... They say they have nothing left to live for in their lives so why bother caring anymore..... Wow they have us (their kids)... But they just don't understand

guppygirl322

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I will try this.. I hope she understands I have told them my concern with their obesity but they just don't give a crap... They say they have nothing left to live for in their lives so why bother caring anymore..... Wow they have us (their kids)... But they just don't understand
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Make them understand honey. Tell them how much you want them to be there for you, for a long LONG time. If they don't listen, just KEEP telling them how much you love them and need them.

RichGebs

Thanks I will try to soon! I think I will try to get my eating back on track by myself and if I can't, I will get my parents help

RichGebs

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RichGebs

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