HELP? Ideas to motivate unhealthy teen daughter?

Solomonre0

When I was 15 I was a BRAT. Anything my parents told I would do the exact opposite of (well, as much as I could and still not get grounded). I did not want to be with my parents, I had a horrible relationship with them. But because I had such a bad relationship it helped me activity wise, I didn't want to be in the house with them so my friend and I would go for long walks around the neighborhood or jump on her trampoline for hours. I also did a lot of school activities because I didn't want to be at home.

When I was growing up though there were two things that my mom would tell me that still haunt me to this day. 1) Rachel, you have a huge forehead (consequently I now have bangs and can not dream of exposing my forehead) and 2) you're pretty thin, except your belly, that's where you carry your weight (since then I've gotten such a twisted form of my shape that I don't know if I have a big belly or not, but one thing is for sure, I'm always self conscious of it).

I think as a mom you're doing the perfect thing by buying only healthy things. Especially if she's dependent on you for money you know that she's not going out and buying junk food else where.

Bribery is probably the easiest way to be honest. Clothing, CD's, x-amount of money, larger allowance. That way she can make the decision to work to earn the "bribe" or to not, and you're not forcing anything on her.

I also liked the idea of having a doctor talk to her. As a parent, chances are she won't listen to you without getting mad. But with a 3rd party she's less likely to get upset. So either a doctor, or maybe a teacher or family friend that she's close with.

mjbrowne

UPDATE! The Dr did talk to her privately and then with us together. Daughter refused referral to nutriotionist; stating she read enough and could ask me for advice.:) She set a goal for herself to move / exercise at least 30 minutes a day. She does NOT want to count calories or journal because when she "messes up" she gets depressed and then eats more and it's a unhealthy cycle. I fully support her simple goal of moving more. She has done this for almost 3 weeks, even texts me at work to tell me her calorie burn from dance games. She has dropped 5 or 6 lbs, which I have applauded. I explained that 1-2 lbs / week is perfect! I've encouraged her to focus on the goal of moving more and everything else will fall into place.

She wants to lose 20, I told her 15 would be awesome! Her goal weight reward is internet / multi media on her cell phone. It's something she has really wanted for 2 yrs, so I think she will work hard to meet her goal so she can get it. She's even looking for new cell phone (she will buy with her babysitting $) to go with her new data plan! Also..I promised her a shopping spree when she meets goal (I am putting goal at 15 lbs in my head, but if she hits 20, even better!).

All in all, the blunt talk about health worked. I told her how important it was to be active due to family history of diabetes. I told her I wasn't going to bring it up anymore; it had to be HER decision or it wasn't going to happen. Dr had same talk. Daughter came up with plan and goals and reward. Bribery will prevail, I think! Fingers crossed and pom-poms in my hands!!
Thanks for all of the great advice!

beautymama2011

you could have snacks like suger free pudding and suger free jello, single serving size cups and if she doesnt like vegies to much you can buy a bag of vegies and stir fry them with a little bit of teriaki sauce it makes them taist awsome and its low in calories you can also switch everything like bread, pasta, rice, and noodles to brown rice, whole grain or wheat im almost 20 and i had my son three months ago i weigh 240 now and back when i was 15 i weighed 190 i some times think that if i had just took better care of my self and excersized and ate healthier i may not be at the weight i am today..

atsteele

UPDATE! The Dr did talk to her privately and then with us together. Daughter refused referral to nutriotionist; stating she read enough and could ask me for advice.:) She set a goal for herself to move / exercise at least 30 minutes a day. She does NOT want to count calories or journal because when she "messes up" she gets depressed and then eats more and it's a unhealthy cycle. I fully support her simple goal of moving more. She has done this for almost 3 weeks, even texts me at work to tell me her calorie burn from dance games. She has dropped 5 or 6 lbs, which I have applauded. I explained that 1-2 lbs / week is perfect! I've encouraged her to focus on the goal of moving more and everything else will fall into place.

She wants to lose 20, I told her 15 would be awesome! Her goal weight reward is internet / multi media on her cell phone. It's something she has really wanted for 2 yrs, so I think she will work hard to meet her goal so she can get it. She's even looking for new cell phone (she will buy with her babysitting $) to go with her new data plan! Also..I promised her a shopping spree when she meets goal (I am putting goal at 15 lbs in my head, but if she hits 20, even better!).

All in all, the blunt talk about health worked. I told her how important it was to be active due to family history of diabetes. I told her I wasn't going to bring it up anymore; it had to be HER decision or it wasn't going to happen. Dr had same talk. Daughter came up with plan and goals and reward. Bribery will prevail, I think! Fingers crossed and pom-poms in my hands!!
Thanks for all of the great advice!

Terrific news!! Thanks for the update!!

SuperScrabbleGirl

yeah. I was kind of always a chubby kid and my mom would give me "helpful hints" on exercising and losing weight and it just made me feel fat and unloved and I would go on crash diets that never worked. Now at 23, I'm the lowest weight I've been in the last 8 years, and it was because no one was pushing me to lose weight. I wanted to do it for myself. The most you can do is do your thing being healthy, but don't push it on her or it'll just give her self-esteem issues or make her think that you don't accept her. I know, because that's what my mom did.

This. I know this is such a tricky issue. But this.