How Long Do You Give Them?

knittnponder

How long do you guys keep "friends" who aren't logging in? I had one that hadn't for over two months that I cut loose yesterday but I've got a few more that are over a month ago. I hate to delete people prematurely but at the same time I like the support I get from the regular loggers. I accept friend requests when people send them because I do really enjoy the support and accountability and want to do that for others but I have to draw the line somewhere. Especially since we're limited to how many we can have. The "friend's" list is valuable real estate!

So how long do you give them?

bitty1taz

I have not deleted anyone from here, but there are a few on FB that I'm thinking about. Just can't bring myself to do it.

MJLavaty

There is a limit to how many "friends" you can have?

lulu1962

If they don't show up in 10-14 days I usually "zap" them! I like to focus on motivating the people that seem to be dedicated to losing weight, getting healthier, logging in somewhat consistently, etc.:happy:

SimplyDeLish

I guess I'm a bit of a hard nose, I give them 2 weeks....unless they had said they will be out of pocket for awhile.

mamagooskie

2 weeks......unless I am highly attached to them or know they are on vacation or something that would keep them away.

lulu1962

There is a limit to how many "friends" you can have?

Pretty sure the limit is a million, bazillion!:huh:

knittnponder

See, that's where I have trouble. I don't want to abandon someone who might need the encouragement but I reach out to them when they aren't logging. I've posted on their wall and asked if they were ok, told them I missed them, hoped they'd be back soon, etc. (I don't say all of that to one person so it's not like I'm stalking them. I just say something simple to let them know they're missed and try to encourage them back.) The one I deleted yesterday hadn't been on for over two months and hadn't responded to anything anyone had said to them. I know life happens but I need encouragement too and if they're not logging they can't help me either.

Yesterday I was procrastinating and posted on my feed asking someone to kick me in the seat and tell me to go work out. I got a couple of them and did my workout but it sure helped that they were there holding me accountable!

alienblonde1

I send them messages a few times and if they get over a month without logging in and don't reply I delete them.

anacsitham5

I cut a couple loose for the first time this week. They havent' been logging in and I want motivating friends. I cut the ones loose that haven't logged in for 3+ weeks. Apparently they aren't on the site and won't know anyways. :ohwell:

reepobob

About a month or so...

I very rarely send friend requests to those "Hey, I am new here!" forum posts because the odds are they are the ones that fall off within weeks of creating an account.

Most of my friends nowadays come from rubbing "shoulders" with friends of friends that post funny or resonating status comments...most, if not all, are dedicated MFPers and rarely are off the map for more than 3 days...

audjrey

I can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves so I usually give it 14 days. After that, if they decide to return and stick to the program, and if they still want my support, they'll have to re-befriend me.

robin52077

About a month or so...

I very rarely send friend requests to those "Hey, I am new here!" forum posts because the odds are they are the ones that fall off within weeks of creating an account.

Most of my friends nowadays come from rubbing "shoulders" with friends of friends that post funny or resonating status comments...most, if not all, are dedicated MFPers and rarely are off the map for more than 3 days...

^^^ this exactly

I am at 445 days, so there's no excuse for slackers...lol

LilLolo22

Well, you just caused me to take a look at my "friends" list and I cut two. Sorry gals. It'd been almost a month for them, so I figure they aren't coming back. But I'm on just about everyday and always looking for more frequent "friends" for motivation and support! :flowerforyou:

Daisy_May

Wow that seems pretty harsh to me, I left here for over a year and while I was gone I had one amazing friend here that would email me once ina while to let me know she was still here if I needed her.
I came back and she had never unfriended me, now that's support!

Angela4Health

If it's been over a week I delete friends, unless they are a good friend and I want to keep them around. I actually delete friends weekly. I post a lot in the forums so I get requests from people, but if they don't interact with me or if they just aren't here for the same reasons as me, I cut them loose. It's not a popularity contest and I'm not here to have as many people in my "friends list" as possible. I keep people who are positive, motivated, and whom I interact with. I prefer to surround myself with positivity. Nothing wrong with cutting people loose if they just aren't cutting it.

Cristy_AZ

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There is a limit to how many "friends" you can have?

Pretty sure the limit is a million, bazillion!:huh:

more like 1000

OLP76

Depends what kinda of mood I am in on that day I'm here for MYSELF, not to see how big my friend list can be...:laugh:

mikeyml

I've been thinking about the same thing! I have about 4 people on my list who haven't logged in for over a month and 2 people that haven't logged in for over 2 months. I think deleting them after 1 month is pretty fair. By that point the chances of them coming back are pretty slim, especially if they were new to the site when you added them. But on the other hand I feel guilty deleting people so I haven't cut any of them loose yet. It doesn't really bother me that I have some friends that don't log in and it's not like they're cluttering anything up. Still though, it seems pointless to keep people around who probably aren't coming back.

Cristy_AZ

i only recently started deleting...depends if they bave interacted with me a lot I have a hard time letting go, gave one guy 3 months, but deleted some ”newbies” that logged in once ira twice and then not for 2 weeks.

DizzieLittleLifter

2 months unless I know them IRL or I know why they are on a leave (PG, illness, vacay etc)

knittnponder

Wow, this thread turned out very beneficial for me! I got a bunch of new friends!

Thanks for the input everyone. I was kind of thinking about having my cutoff be around a month unless I know they'd planned to be gone for some reason or I just like that one for whatever reason. I do have a couple of IRL friend's that I doubt I'd cut if they stop logging just because I don't need any real life drama.

I really, really love the support and encouragement I get from this site and appreciate the friends I have as well as the people I get to chat with in the forums. There have been days where looking at the before and afters or seeing one of my friends post about just completing the P90X workout I'm on has inspired and motivated me to get off the couch and pushing play. This site is worth so much more than just the calorie counting! Thanks again.

GoldenGirl1979

idk why, but i feel so bad about deleting people... i have a few "slacker" friends who haven't been on in a while... but i'm so torn about deleting them... i'm thinking "what if they come back? what if they come back & they see that everyone's abandoned them? what if they were excited about getting back on track & they log in & see that their support system is gone, so they regress"

someone key the violin music, lol :blushing:

maybe i'll delete them one of these days... but i just can't seem to do it right now...