Lack of support

BananaBee3

I don't feel like I have a good support system when it comes to eating healthy and exercise...and I'm not sure how to deal with it :frown:

My boyfriend and I live together, but he isn't as health-conscious as I am and usually only workouts when I invite him to join in with me. The foods we eat vary greatly as well as the portion sizes we put on our plates. It pretty much comes down to the fact that he doesn't think about health, nutrition, or exercise, because he's one of those guys who can eat whatever he wants, whenever he wants and not gain an ounce (or lose any muscle), while I am health-conscious, enjoy working out, and am working on controlling my portion sizes to normal amounts.

I am at work 2-3 entire days at a time. We take turns cooking meals for the entire crew, but have to follow what the cook makes up as a menu, which doesn't leave much wiggle room, and sometimes my co-workers use pretty unhealthy ways of cooking (lots of butter, oil, no veggies, etc...) I typically bring my own food, but only eat it half the time, because sometimes we will have a healthy meal and the other times I feel awkward eating my own food while everyone else is eating what was prepared. It goes against the "family" mentality we have at work and people won't hold back in pointing out the fact you're not eating what everyone else is.

So, to get to my point, I don't have very many people who believe in eating healthy and exercising regularly and I find that it brings me down. It doesn't all the time, but it can be enough to convince me not to workout, to make excuses, or to ditch my healthy dinner and just eat whatever.

How have you dealt with any lack of support you've experienced?

jlewis2896

I know what you mean. I am the 30-year-old back in college with 20-somethings, and I carry around a lunchbox with me all day. Sexy, right?

But don't worry about what other people think. There is absolutely no reason to feel bad about wanting to be healthier. I have had my family and most of my friends come on board with my healthier lifestyle. I even had a couple of girls from my classes start bringing lunchboxes.

You're doing a good thing, just do what you do and try not to let other people's habits affect that. Easier said than done, I know, but you can do it!!

guppygirl322

That's a really hard one. My husband is the same when it comes to food, always bringing junk into the house, because he can eat it and know when to stop, whereas I can't stop until it's all gone! Plus, with my daughter, there are always little snacks around that I end up grazing mindlessly on.

The best advice I can give you is to stick to your guns and not worry about anyone else. Make something up at work, like a food allergy, or high cholersterol or something that requires you to bring your own food.

I have to be honest, all the weight I have recently lost, I did on my own with no support at all. You have to find the strength in yourself to do what you have to do. You're already on the right track by coming here so you know you can be strong!

guppygirl322

I know what you mean. I am the 30-year-old back in college with 20-somethings, and I carry around a lunchbox with me all day. Sexy, right?

I thought I was the only one who did that, lol. Yup, that's me rocking the my little pony lunchbox!:laugh:

BrieGoorts

My husband loves the way that I look, and as a result he's always suggesting macdonald's for dinner, or ordering in, or ice cream. He doesn't think I need to lose any weight, and only kind of understands that I want to do it for me. But, I don't want to feel like I'm restricting myself from foods. So I allow myself to splurge sometimes. As long as it works ok into my remaining calorie in take for the day.
It can be frustrating though having your "support" system around you not really understanding the goal that you want is important. I just try to make it so it doesn't disrupt my whole day and I don't do it everyday and I especially don't beat myself up for it if a splurge happens.

Ajaay

Would it be possible to ask the cook about adding veggies or fruit to all the meals? You could also tell your co-workers that your doctor has gotten onto you about eating healthier or less sodium, etc. Talk to your co-workers about concerns for your health, but make sure that they know you enjoy their food and think they are great cooks. If they can see your concerns for your health as your own thing and not as a critisim of them or what they are doing it will go better. You also might just try to eat smaller portions when you eat food at work. While you are in a sticky situation, you are also in a position to influence people as long as you show respect for them. Its hard to be the odd one out, but try to keep a sense of humor about it.

SuperMoniMonk

Girl , You need to take a stand for you body ..thy can not speak for itself. If it could it would shout " Let her take care of me and stop judging her !!"

People may think you are being self centered or selfish when you have to go about yours ways to eat better , but only you know what you need to do . You have to believe it for yourself first that this is what you need to do and you will see how people will change their opinions ...you could inspire some of them ..you have to shine the brightess in order to have a good impact .

If your boyfriend doesn't gain weight that does not mean he is healthly. There is a lot of skinny people who are sick :P

Push through ..I used to drink sodas just because I didn't want my friends to think I was thinking I was better than them by drinking water. I had to stop that ...once I did one of them said in a funny tone ... " WOW look at her she drinks water now ..."
I said " Yes I do !!! I drink water now ..Thank GOD !


Stand firm you and only you and only for you are you making a life of changes.

sunshine__angel

If you don't have support at home, you will always find support here!!

My boyfriend works different shifts and I am currently unemployed. I am home often with tempting foods in the fridge and cupboards but I just think about the fact that those tasty foods made me fat. I don't like what they do to my body and no matter how good they taste, they make me FEEL unhappy.

When my boyfriend gets home at night he usually makes a meal to eat, always smells good and looks pretty tasty. But I can't expect him not to eat how he wants; he is not overweight! I got myself in this position and I will get myself out. Maybe once a week you can have a "cheat" day where you can eat what you want? Or if you feel that would reduce progress, you could maybe try a "bite" from your boyfriend's plate every so often. surely a mouthful of deliciousness won't throw you off track too much.

Just take it in baby steps. If you are new to this diet, just know that you will get used to it. Your body won't want those foods once you are eating healthier and feeling good about it. If you need support, come on this site! We are all here to help each other out as we are all here for the same reasons.

oyvonnee

I have some silly strategies but they seem to work for me although I still have a long way to go. I lost 50 pounds 3 years ago and then had major surgery, stopped exercizing and eating healthy and gained it back. My 6'1 slim son and my brother (who is not slim) live with me. My son can eat a lot due to his age and activity level. My brother just eats because he likes to. He eats Ben and Jerry's ice cream, chinese food, hamburgers, cookies and milk in front of me --- all stuff I have given up. I thought it would bother me more but when I see him eating it 1) I leave the room - no need to stay and sniff in the scents. 2) I don't see it as 'my' food. I see it as his. It's funny how simple affirmations can make a difference. Instead of saying "I want that and can't have it", I say "I don't want it". The more I say it, the more true it becomes. Sometimes I will even tease him and tell him, "Wow that ice cream looks good except for all the maggots all over it. - I'm not sure how you can eat that stuff." I have a vivid imagination and I picture the maggots and suddenly, Blech! Who wants that? :-) Yvonne

hippo421

Hi there! Good for you for making healthy decisions! Lack of support can be a big challenge. Many people don't understand that it's hard enough sticking to a healthy routine inand that their support is really important to your success. The reality is, there may not be many people there to support you. I think the best thing you can do is make them aware of the reasons why you are doing this for yourself, and ask your coworkers not to be offended if you are eating seperately. Also let them know how much you could really use their support even if they don't believe in what you are doing. Remind them that this is something that means alot to you. They will start to understand once they see you feeling better about yourself- you may even inspire some of them to do what you are doing. If you continue to lack the support, just do your best to avoid the temptations and have confidence in yourself to know that you are doing the right thing. My fitness pal is here for you in the event you ever need support, and keep up the good work!
As far as from experiance, I still struggle with the lack of support at times. Quite frankly, I sometimes avoid social situations where the temptations can be overbearing. I'm getting better at bringing my own food, just saying "no" and letting people know that I need thier support more than their opinion. Good luck!

BananaBee3

Thanks everyone :smooched:

All of your posts made me feel a lot better about the choices I make and made me realize again that eating healthy and exercising is what I want and that it doesn't matter if other people don't see it that way, etc...

I'm at work now and am avoiding the temptation to go to the vending machine or get some ice cream out of the freezer...:ohwell:

I also find that when I work out in the mornings, my day as a whole goes a lot better...I think it's time to get back into that routine.