Treatment

cindylou911

I posted this on facebook not long ago...wanted to share it with yall. I felt it was time to let other people know how different we get treated.

I don't have the prettiest face, the tiniest waist, or the best voice; i am judged by what my outside looks like rather than what my inside and heart has to offer. I get stared at, laughed at, talked about, made fun of, and treated differently all bc im a different size. ive been used bc of the work i do or just bc its convenient for u. if i cut up and joke around with the opposite sex its an automatic assumption that i am flirting and hitting on them.............

i get ignored and pushed out of the way. I am helped last when in a place that has to serve people and someone smaller than myself is beside me there are times when I feel that people are embarrassed to be seen with me or maybe they only want me around bc it makes them look better or prettier. i get sick and tired of hearing "im fat" from those people who are thin and are not even close to being fat. put on a suit, step in my shoes for a day THEN you will know what it feels like to be this way, and THEN you can say it.

ive heard people say, when they don't think im listening, "my gah, she's so pretty, if shed only lose the weight shed be gorgeous" ... in general people say about big people that if they just watch what they eat or they can control the size they are if they eat right and exercise. yeah sure, but some do that already and it doesn't matter. ive done weight watchers (multiple times & currently doing), jenny craig, grapefruit diet, cardiac diet, ive taken pills, i exercise, ive starved myself, with the end result being it didn't do anything. ive lost and regained and lost and regained..and im still the same person at the end of the day .....

People like me, we put on smiles, to hide the hurt of how other people treat us. We are supposed to be strong no matter what, no matter how hurt we are from how we are treated. If the issue is confronted, it's said "thats not true, thats just in your head." Take a look in pictures, how many "big" people do you see on boats on the river during the summer hanging out with the people that invite them other places; or going rafting, or to the lake, or doing fun stuff like that during the summer time. It's okay to invite to a house party or out to bar to hang out, but thats it, no where else.

I have feelings just like anyone else, I have a heart -and more times than not, my heart is bigger than anyone elses. I have been dealing with this my entire life and supposed to just ignore the people who are rude to me, to "be the better person." All through highschool, when YOU didn't think I knew you were laughing at me behind my back or making fun of me, news to you, I KNEW. People wonder why I have very few people from my highschool days and before on my list well there ya go. I am not stupid nor have I ever been, I knew the entire time yall made fun of me and laughed at me, but I ignored it like I was told to do.

I am very thankful for the friends I have today. They accept and love me for who I am, faults and all. You know who you are (and there are quite several of you:-D ). They have never showed or made me feel the way that others have in my life. So as I distance myself from those who have treated me the way I just described, don't be mad, bc that is the nicest thing I can do for you without making you feel the way you have made me feel for a while.

So to all of my TRUE friends, thank you for allowing me to be me and accepting me for who I am, no matter what I look like or the size I am. I love you all!!!

ps...this is not even close to all of the treatment I, or bigger people get, this is only a few ways of how we get treated. Maybe on another night that I can't sleep I will continue with the list

oh and another ps, my bluntness and straightforwardness is now the only way anyone is ever going to get me. So if you don't like that quality, dont ever ask my opinion, bc you will get nothing but truth and honesty and if hurts your feelings i will not apologize for it.

snflwr04

High five girl!!!

sunshine__angel

This post made me cry.

I admit, I am not "fat". I am overweight, and by all BMI standards, I am obese. But I know there are people larger than me, and I know I can hide behind my clothes when I feel uncomfortable.

I can't even begin to imagine how people feel when they are put into these positions. People talking and laughing behind your back, feeling like the only reason people want to hang out with you is so they look better by comparison. I look in the mirror every day and don't like what I see - I'm sure a lot of us do at some point - but I cannot believe some people would actually go out of their way to verbalize the flaws you see in the mirror. Nothing would hurt me more than to know that the things I am most insecure about, are being publicized for other peoples entertainment.

I wanted to write to you to let you know that you are not alone. I know I have never personally heard anyone make fun of my weight behind my back, but I am confronted with the fact that I am overweight every day - at the movies, going out for dinner, on the bus... anywhere you go where the seats are tiny and you are not. I don't like ordering a lot of food at a restaurant for fear of what people are going to think. For them to straight up tell you is another thing.

I want you to know that everyone here is on your side. We may not all be the same height, or weight, or age, or even live in the same country, but we are all here for one thing: to get healthy and change our lives for the better.

I am SO sorry for the way you have been treated before and I agree your heart is probably a million times larger than those of the people taunting you. I feel for you, and I wish I could tell you it will stop, but people are ignorant. Not many people have compassion these days, especially not for strangers. It's just too bad they have to be so cruel.

If you ever need support, or just a friend to talk to, I am here. I may not have the same goals as you but I can tell you they are just as important to me as yours are to you, and for that reason I think we could help each other out. Try not to ever let anyone make you feel bad about yourself, you are beautiful, regardless of your weight, inside AND out. You don't need negativity in your life, you need optimism, and I am so glad this site exists because that is what it gives - a bright outlook, positivity and encouragement.

Thank you so much for posting. As someone who has only recently become overweight, I have never experienced these things, and wish nobody ever had to. But we are all here to get better for OURSELVES! Those people don't matter and in the end, all that matters is that you are happy and healthy, and we are well on our way!

cindylou911

Thank you so much. I didn't post it to make you cry, I just hope when I posted it on facebook, the ones that did that got the message. I am sure I will take you up on that offer on needing someone to talk to and the same goes for you!!

sunshine__angel

I hope they got the message too! It was loud and clear to me!!

DropsOJupiter

That is one strong post you made and I can honestly say that I know exactly how you felt when you initially posted it on FB! I started gaining weight as a child and was moderately overweight during high school. I remember going to bed at night and hoping for a miracle that I'd wake up thin...didn't happen, of course. I started my first "diet" at age 8 and have, like you, been on almost every diet. I've lost and gained so many pounds, been through so many phases, short of bulimia. I've heard every comment you mentioned (I particularly detest the "you have such a pretty face" one!) and have cried over more hurt feelings, rejections, etc. and ate my way up to 300+.

I must be a slow learner :happy: as it took me many years to figure out that "diets" don't work, the love comes from within first, and that I can and did take my life back. And to figure out that my drug of choice is food! I am continuing to learn that learning is a continual process and that my body is unique so my approaches must be unique too.

Thanks for your post, which made me smile in comradery and continued strength on your journey to a healthier life.

VeganInTraining

Thank you for posting this! And regardless of if you loose weight or not you are BEAUTIFUL! I was never fat but I was always the "chunky" one so I know what you mean. Especially in high school! I will never forget when me and my best friend (who looks like barbie) were out at the mall and a guy came up and gave her his number (he was probably about 20, she was 16, I was 19) Her response "um....I'm only 16 but Emmie is 19) He took one look at me and goes "uh, no thanks." Hang in there girl, you got this and you are beautiful no matter what inside AND out!