How much is too much to ask......

gnicolecan

So, my spouse is not as committed as I am to healthy eating, or weight loss, or exercise. He does try to be supportive of me, helps me pack healthy lunches, eats my healthily prepared dinners, gives me the thumbs up to go exercise, and sometimes even goes with me.
But....
He often gets "cravings" for foods that I consider to be my triggers. Like all week he has been saying that we are going to Mexican for margaritas and dinner tomorrow night. That place is probably my biggest tempation.

What would you do?
1. Go and try to be as healthy conscious and moderate as possible?
2. Ask him to get take out and get my own healthy take out elsewhere?
3. Tell him that I really need him to be more supportive?
4. Other

He has mentioned before that it's not fair that I get to choose where we go to eat (I have certain faves based on proven healthy fare).
THANKS

gnicolecan

So, my spouse is not as committed as I am to healthy eating, or weight loss, or exercise. He does try to be supportive of me, helps me pack healthy lunches, eats my healthily prepared dinners, gives me the thumbs up to go exercise, and sometimes even goes with me.
But....
He often gets "cravings" for foods that I consider to be my triggers. Like all week he has been saying that we are going to Mexican for margaritas and dinner tomorrow night. That place is probably my biggest tempation.

What would you do?
1. Go and try to be as healthy conscious and moderate as possible?
2. Ask him to get take out and get my own healthy take out elsewhere?
3. Tell him that I really need him to be more supportive?
4. Other

He has mentioned before that it's not fair that I get to choose where we go to eat (I have certain faves based on proven healthy fare).
THANKS

pdxmomof2

My DH and I are on the same page right now as he needs to loose weight for his BP and cholesterol. But we used to not be, we would just order from separate places and he would go and pick them up. There are healthy choices to be had at mexican but if you cant stay away from the unhealthy side then I would not put yourself in that position until you are stronger with your will power!

Amy

songbyrdsweet

Would it hurt to have one fun meal? This is a LIFEstyle, not a monthstyle or yearstyle. You have the rest of your life to eat clean. I know firsthand that yummy meals can make us feel guilty after living this way for so long, but it's important to take time to share that tasty, 'naughty' food and just have fun so we can maintain this for the next 60 years. Just get a great meal and a margarita, and remind yourself that it's a rare thing and won't make a difference in the long (60 years!) run. That's what I do anyway.

gnicolecan

I do indluge occaisionaly, but I was on vacation last weekend (4 days) and ended up mantaining for that week. I am working so so so hard right now and I really just want to stay focused through the next weekend or so. My idea of a splurge would be a nice glass of wine with a "skinny chicken dish" off a diff restaurant's menu. NOT a heavy mexican meal.

arewethereyet

I would go. Eat light all day,salad and yogurt and such.

Order fajitas and ask them to go light on the oil, sauce. Take out 10-20 chips in a sep bowl and eat all the salsa you want. have 1-2 margaritas, hold the salt!

It IS all about a change in lifestyle. You will have fun with hubby, and still stay in your cals or close to it.
:happy: have fun :happy:

shorerider

My DH loves Mexican, so we do go occasionally for him. I found my local restaurant serves a grilled chicken breast that's great. We've also ordered Fajitas for Two before and I eat just the meat and vegis--skipping most of the cheese and tortillas.

My DH is also not looking to join me on this quest; so I do share your feelings. But I've learned that both of us have to make compromises.

So it helps to be able to go a "normal" type restaurant and figure out what you can't/can eat. This is a life-long journey after all and we can't avoid Mexican restaurants forever. So maybe go, skip the margaritas, and try to find an alternative on the menu that will work for you. It could be an exercise in portion-control and will power, too.

shorerider

I would go. Eat light all day,salad and yogurt and such.

Order fajitas and ask them to go light on the oil, sauce. Take out 10-20 chips in a sep bowl and eat all the salsa you want. have 1-2 margaritas, hold the salt!

It IS all about a change in lifestyle. You will have fun with hubby, and still stay in your cals or close to it.
:happy: have fun :happy:

Watch the salsa! It's full of sodium and if you eat too much you'll be retaining fluid for days!

PrincessLaundry

I don't push my hubby into changing his eating at all...He followed though and that to me was a GREAT help! No nagging!

My husband is always very supportive, but he is a muncher. He works hard so he doesn't really gain much at all. One of the first things I had to do when I started all of this was, I had to take responsibility for my own eating when it came to HIS cravings.

He would be hungry for junk, I'd tell him, no thanks. He would offer to pick up a munchie and I'd say, no thanks. Pretty soon, my "no thanks" was the norm and I was in control of HIS feeding me HIS cravings. I am at the point that I simply say, "Please don't feed the wife!" LOL He will offer a bite of something but knows not to go on and on and on, are you sure? Just one? Anyway...

Just say no.

gnicolecan

HAHAH Ok I need a big big big big sign that says : PLEASE dont feed the wife

Do any of you smarties have any idea on the cals/fat of fajitas hold the oil?

songbyrdsweet

I do indluge occaisionaly, but I was on vacation last weekend (4 days) and ended up mantaining for that week. I am working so so so hard right now and I really just want to stay focused through the next weekend or so. My idea of a splurge would be a nice glass of wine with a "skinny chicken dish" off a diff restaurant's menu. NOT a heavy mexican meal.

I understand that. It's tough when it comes to relationships...everyone has a different dynamic. If you convince your hubby to go to a restaurant of your choice, will he be really upset? Will you guys still enjoy it? Will it be a fun night out or just eating like normal, only outside of your kitchen? After the next weekend, how will your life be different if you eat a mexican meal with him?

I think, when you look at the big picture, it's better for you to let him have his way sometimes so he doesn't mind letting you have your way all the other times, and it also reinforces the fact that you have a BUNCH of time to reach your goal. My bf and I have been together almost 3 years, and he *just* started getting into working out. When I was constantly asking him to conform to my standards of living, he began to resent it. He had to make the choice to start getting healthy on his own, and he is doing a great job, but we both still like to get mexican about once every month or so. I figure that the time we spend going 'OMG NOM NOM NOM' together is totally worth an extra hour on the treadmill over the span of a week.

When we go, I get chicken fajitas with two tortillas, and generally don't eat the chips (they hurt my wisdom teeth-holes lol). Or I'll get a salad, which is an easy fix anywhere. Just hold the cheese and get balsamic vinaigrette.

shorerider

I don't push my hubby into changing his eating at all...He followed though and that to me was a GREAT help! No nagging!

My husband is always very supportive, but he is a muncher. He works hard so he doesn't really gain much at all. One of the first things I had to do when I started all of this was, I had to take responsibility for my own eating when it came to HIS cravings.

He would be hungry for junk, I'd tell him, no thanks. He would offer to pick up a munchie and I'd say, no thanks. Pretty soon, my "no thanks" was the norm and I was in control of HIS feeding me HIS cravings. I am at the point that I simply say, "Please don't feed the wife!" LOL He will offer a bite of something but knows not to go on and on and on, are you sure? Just one? Anyway...

Just say no.

My DH does the same thing! "Don't you want some" "Are you sure you don't" on and on and on! Is that a male trait or something?

5mule

My wife and I have lost some weight together and we see-saw on this all the time. Sometimes she wants to splurge when I don't, other times I want to splurge when she doesn't. If you're in a skinny chicken dish mode now, go with it. Don't go to the Mexican joint to make your husband happy, ESPECIALLY when it will make you feel bad. It'll make you both feel bad in the end in some way or another. You have to take care of yourself. I bet your husband will understand, even if he's annoyed or disappointed. Of course, it IS good to splurge when you're up for it. I'm going through the same feelings now, but mine is all about the one or two beers I like in the evening. I had steadily gained weight (6 lbs in 10 weeks - a bad trend), and it was all because of an extra 400 calories per night. I have to lay off now, and it's no fun. Keeping the weight off is all about making sacrifices! I wish that weren't true. I think you're in the right mental place. Good luck!

PrincessLaundry

I told DH once, "If you loved me you would pressure me into having schex, not food." ??? LOL

Crud...post thief here!

gnicolecan

I think he reaaallllly wants to go, so this time I will do it. Maybe I can remind him later in the weekend that I've "splurged" and no more feeding the wife for a few days at least.
Thanks for everything guys, I will be strong against the Mex temptations but keep the hubby happy. And I will do it with a good attitute, since he eats his share of Panera, Chick fil a, Olive Garden, etc for me. I do love a chicken breast and salad. HA.

gnicolecan

Princess Laundry. You're cracking me up!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

arewethereyet

I would go. Eat light all day,salad and yogurt and such.

Order fajitas and ask them to go light on the oil, sauce. Take out 10-20 chips in a sep bowl and eat all the salsa you want. have 1-2 margaritas, hold the salt!

It IS all about a change in lifestyle. You will have fun with hubby, and still stay in your cals or close to it.
:happy: have fun :happy:

Watch the salsa! It's full of sodium and if you eat too much you'll be retaining fluid for days!

boo hoo..:brokenheart: I always thought the salsa was home free. SODIUM...in the chips yeh, but salsa> Darn it

Jules4506

I think its okay to go and splurge...you just need to plan for it! if you know you want the enchiladas and the margaritas then make the right food choices earlier in the day and eat and drink in moderation at the restaurant (don't go too crazy...have just 1 margarita or maybe 2 small ones).

OomarianneoO

My DH loves Mexican, so we do go occasionally for him. I found my local restaurant serves a grilled chicken breast that's great. We've also ordered Fajitas for Two before and I eat just the meat and vegis--skipping most of the cheese and tortillas.

My DH is also not looking to join me on this quest; so I do share your feelings. But I've learned that both of us have to make compromises.

So it helps to be able to go a "normal" type restaurant and figure out what you can't/can eat. This is a life-long journey after all and we can't avoid Mexican restaurants forever. So maybe go, skip the margaritas, and try to find an alternative on the menu that will work for you. It could be an exercise in portion-control and will power, too.

My DH has no interest in joining me either. It used to really bother me, but it's gotten easier over the past month. And not just easier on me, but easier on him (none of my constantly telling him how many calories are in this or that). I don't restrict myself from any restaurants anymore. In fact, I try to think of it as a little game by looking at the entire menu and making the right choices. After all, it's just food, right? And we're only in there to fuel up, right? Sometimes, you can go online and find the restaurant's menu and decide what you are going to eat before you even get there.

TNTPete

Also.. remember it is what you eat during a week that will make a difference not just one day -- I say splurge, keep portion control and pick the healthier option (fajitas sound delish). You can definitely have your cake and eat it too if you are watching what you eat. Also, they usually offer cholesterol friendly refried beans and honestly.. I know this stinks but skip the chips and salsa --those are the items that ADD up!!