Hurricane Preparedness
yoginimary
Posts: 6,788 Member
Forwarded to me:
I know many of you are not from Houston, so may have some questions about hurricane preparedness that are not answered by mainstream media.
As a sixth generation Texan and native Houstonian, I have assembled top tips that may help ease the process:
1) Liquor and Lawn chair – after the storm passes and the electricity is still out, the TV and air conditioning gone, you will most likely find yourself sitting outside in the shade to stay cool. Your bored and sweaty neighbors will wander up and want to talk – you DO NOT want to be sober at this time – neither do they.
2) Grind and brew coffee the night before and save in thermos. Sucking used coffee grounds out of the compost bucket while your skull seizes up from caffeine withdrawal is not as glamorous as it sounds.
3) You don't need to buy water. Before the storm, put an empty bottle under the tap, turn on tap – shazam! Bottled water! You don't have to be a real genius to figure this out.
4) Put the chickens in the garage; remember to add a nesting box so they don't lay eggs in the toolbox. The chickens will be unhappy and try to give you lip about this. Remember, you are top chicken and they have no lips.
5) Look in the freezer. All items are at risk. If the electricity goes out – EAT ICE CREAM FIRST. Grill all meat as it thaws then proceed to Tip #1.
6) Don't worry about underwear, when the air conditioning goes out you won't need it.
7) Always keep your car filled with gas, an extra propane tank, and a good supply of canned goods, mosquito repellant, matches, tofu, birth control and bullets – you don't want to be without any of these living in Texas.
8) Diapers – kids too young to use the toilet are strictly 'clothing optional' under the Tip #1 scenario. Fill a bucket with water before the storm – dip and swish dirty child and then release—don't waste valuable disposable diapers when you don't have to.
9) Run the dishwasher before the storm hits – 3-day old dirty dishes can get pretty funky.
10) No matter what happens, it is still not as bad as living in Dallas.
Good luck.
I know many of you are not from Houston, so may have some questions about hurricane preparedness that are not answered by mainstream media.
As a sixth generation Texan and native Houstonian, I have assembled top tips that may help ease the process:
1) Liquor and Lawn chair – after the storm passes and the electricity is still out, the TV and air conditioning gone, you will most likely find yourself sitting outside in the shade to stay cool. Your bored and sweaty neighbors will wander up and want to talk – you DO NOT want to be sober at this time – neither do they.
2) Grind and brew coffee the night before and save in thermos. Sucking used coffee grounds out of the compost bucket while your skull seizes up from caffeine withdrawal is not as glamorous as it sounds.
3) You don't need to buy water. Before the storm, put an empty bottle under the tap, turn on tap – shazam! Bottled water! You don't have to be a real genius to figure this out.
4) Put the chickens in the garage; remember to add a nesting box so they don't lay eggs in the toolbox. The chickens will be unhappy and try to give you lip about this. Remember, you are top chicken and they have no lips.
5) Look in the freezer. All items are at risk. If the electricity goes out – EAT ICE CREAM FIRST. Grill all meat as it thaws then proceed to Tip #1.
6) Don't worry about underwear, when the air conditioning goes out you won't need it.
7) Always keep your car filled with gas, an extra propane tank, and a good supply of canned goods, mosquito repellant, matches, tofu, birth control and bullets – you don't want to be without any of these living in Texas.
8) Diapers – kids too young to use the toilet are strictly 'clothing optional' under the Tip #1 scenario. Fill a bucket with water before the storm – dip and swish dirty child and then release—don't waste valuable disposable diapers when you don't have to.
9) Run the dishwasher before the storm hits – 3-day old dirty dishes can get pretty funky.
10) No matter what happens, it is still not as bad as living in Dallas.
Good luck.
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Replies
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Forwarded to me:
I know many of you are not from Houston, so may have some questions about hurricane preparedness that are not answered by mainstream media.
As a sixth generation Texan and native Houstonian, I have assembled top tips that may help ease the process:
1) Liquor and Lawn chair – after the storm passes and the electricity is still out, the TV and air conditioning gone, you will most likely find yourself sitting outside in the shade to stay cool. Your bored and sweaty neighbors will wander up and want to talk – you DO NOT want to be sober at this time – neither do they.
2) Grind and brew coffee the night before and save in thermos. Sucking used coffee grounds out of the compost bucket while your skull seizes up from caffeine withdrawal is not as glamorous as it sounds.
3) You don't need to buy water. Before the storm, put an empty bottle under the tap, turn on tap – shazam! Bottled water! You don't have to be a real genius to figure this out.
4) Put the chickens in the garage; remember to add a nesting box so they don't lay eggs in the toolbox. The chickens will be unhappy and try to give you lip about this. Remember, you are top chicken and they have no lips.
5) Look in the freezer. All items are at risk. If the electricity goes out – EAT ICE CREAM FIRST. Grill all meat as it thaws then proceed to Tip #1.
6) Don't worry about underwear, when the air conditioning goes out you won't need it.
7) Always keep your car filled with gas, an extra propane tank, and a good supply of canned goods, mosquito repellant, matches, tofu, birth control and bullets – you don't want to be without any of these living in Texas.
8) Diapers – kids too young to use the toilet are strictly 'clothing optional' under the Tip #1 scenario. Fill a bucket with water before the storm – dip and swish dirty child and then release—don't waste valuable disposable diapers when you don't have to.
9) Run the dishwasher before the storm hits – 3-day old dirty dishes can get pretty funky.
10) No matter what happens, it is still not as bad as living in Dallas.
Good luck.0 -
AWESOME0 -
:laugh:
:bigsmile: Think I'll forward this to my local Red Cross Chapter, hehehe... 0 -
:laugh: :laugh: Thanks for the laughs!0
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10) No matter what happens, it is still not as bad as living in Dallas.
:noway: :noway: :laugh: :laugh: :noway: :noway:0 -
LOL!!! Copying that 4 my uncle! Awesome!!!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
im in alvin the eye of the storm :mad:0
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no storm needed thats the way we all live in tx everyday.:happy: :happy: 0
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LOL Absolutely brilliant !!! :laugh:0
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:drinker: Laughed my tail off!0
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Sorry just figured out how to use the ticker. Duh.......0 -
Ahhhh y'all laugh, but ya just dont know how true the joke is.
Lived through Andrew, Katrina and Wilma and I want to add to list:
Wash all your laundry before the storm. You will need the towels to sop up the rain coming in broken windows and hole in the ceiling.
Fill garbage cans with water for flushing the toilet. Nothing is nastier than NO PLACE TO GO!
Xanax is also good during a storm.
The roof will still blow off, but who cares?
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Sorry Eriny....hope your doing ok!:flowerforyou:0 -
Wash all your laundry before the storm. You will need the towels to sop up the rain coming in broken windows and hole in the ceiling.
Fill garbage cans with water for flushing the toilet. Nothing is nastier than NO PLACE TO GO!
Xanax is also good during a storm.
The roof will still blow off, but who cares?
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Sorry Eriny....hope your doing ok!:flowerforyou:
Great advice, albeit funny stuff0 -
Xanax is also good during a storm.
The roof will still blow off, but who cares?
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
*In best Keanu Reeves impersonation* "Woooo...knarley...did you hear THAT? Awesome dude..." *wipes drool off chin*0 -
1) Liquor and Lawn chair – after the storm passes and the electricity is still out, the TV and air conditioning gone, you will most likely find yourself sitting outside in the shade to stay cool. Your bored and sweaty neighbors will wander up and want to talk – you DO NOT want to be sober at this time – neither do they.
...this is so true.
During Katrina, Rita, and Gustav the liquor store was almost completely sold out of liquor....hurricane parties all around!
You Texans be careful!!0 -
Gonna have to remember these...0
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Xanax is also good during a storm.
The roof will still blow off, but who cares?
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
*In best Keanu Reeves impersonation* "Woooo...knarley...did you hear THAT? Awesome dude..." *wipes drool off chin*
:noway: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
ok--- I must say that made me acutally LOL
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