32 and feeling emotional

damcool

Having lost 70 lbs, I am having a hard time feeling guilty for letting myself go. My husband loves me regardless of my weight, but I feel like I've let him down, because when we met, I was beautiful. Now, I'm older with wrinkles and (having children) my body is so different. For 7 years I've been overweight and now that I'm 10 lbs away from where I was when we met, everything is different. I no longer have perky sexy breasts, a stomach to die for, legs that rock in short shorts...I'll be the same weight, but things are so different...I hate it. I really need to know that it's okay...

Msaip

Of course it's okay! You gave him children. That changes everything! But you will feel best hearing it from him!

Kristhin

Granted, I'm 5 years younger than you but people still mistake me for 18 all the time. I think its totally possible to look great even
into your 50's if you just take care of yourself right.
I mean sure, you fell off the wagon, it happens to the best of us. But there's no reason you should have to be as skinny as you used to be and still feel like you look bad. maybe try getting a personal trainer to help you tone up your problem areas until theyre back to being tighter looking like they used to be. then you'll get a great confidence boost and can go buy a cute outfit and strut your stuff!!!!

keepsiejess

time and gravity will take its toll on everyone. husband included!

sunshine79

Firstly well done for all you've achieved so far.

I think what you've written says it all - your husband loves you just as you are and regardless of your weight.

You have to look at the bigger picture: You are blessed, you are in good health, you have beautiful children, you have a wonderful husband the list goes on. I KNOW how important it is to feel good about yourself but you're the only person who can do that for you. You can and will get your body to a place where you're happier with it but until you love and accept yourself where you are NOW no physical change will make you feel any different. That's not to invalidate how you're feeling because how you feel is real but if you can work on counting your blessings and focusing on all that you have to be grateful for

stormieweather

Also, you can change your body composition. You don't have to settle for anything you don't want to. Lifting weights can help change the lumps and bulges to shapely muscles. If you don't think you can do it on your own, get a trainer to help you.

pelican82

Sounds like to me that both you and your husband haven't let each other down at all. He stuck by you when you weren't were you wanted to be and you recognized your potential to change your life. Sounds like to me that your marriage is exactly where it needs to be.
I also know that it's hard to see your body age and the changes can be not so friendly but that's life. My favorite quote is from Steel Magnolias. Dolly Parton's character say "Time marches on and eventually you realize it's marching across your face". Be thankful for every wrinkle, every sag, and every imperfection that makes you who you are because that means you are here to tell about each of them and how strong you were to obtain them.

crisanderson27

I agree with those above...but I have some advice as well.

Keep going!! You don't have to stop now that you've lost the weight. Get into shape! 10lbs away from your goal is PERFECT timing to start firming yourself up, shaping your body, and all in all becoming even more fit than when you met. It gives you something to hope for, and a goal to work towards...which is part of your problem now. You've almost reached the home stretch, and it wasn't as good as you'd hoped. Well, figure out what WILL be as good as you hoped...and get there =D. Your husband is proud of you now...I guarantee it. Imagine his level of pride when YOU are proud of yourself as well!

Don't quit, keep going...we can have virtually any body we choose...we just need to WORK for it =D.

Cris

TripleJ3

I understand. I'm 33 with three beautiful daughters and an amazing husband. I'm not at my goal but for the most part feel pretty good. While I know I'm young....I'm not getting younger. I see women in their mid-forties/fifties out and about and at bars and they are trying so hard to look as young as they can. They look ridiculous and I hope I never get to that point where I go too far but at the same time I understand.

I always feel like most men look better as they age. I want to look good for my age. It does scare me what I will think of myself in 10, 20 or 30 years. I worry that without my looks, will I still have enough to offer?

Aging doesn't bother me, looking in the mirror and hating what I see and what I'm not does. I know my husband finds me attractive and sexy even after 18 years.....but will I see myself that way when my looks are fading? I don't think this is vain. I don't think I'm the sexiest woman out there but like I said before, I'm happy with what I have to work with and like to look the best "me" as I can. I want to keep that same feeling.

supertracylynn

Yes, you are no longer physically the same person as back then. I'll wager he isn't either.

You also are not the same person mentally and emotionally as back then. I'll wager he isn't either.

Chances are you've learned, grown, and gained wisdom from experience. THAT is far more important than perky breasts, a washboard tummy, and slim legs.

Also, chances are your husband prefers THIS you over THAT you.

He probably also finds you just as sexy now as back then.

You've worked so hard, give yourself the proper credit, the credit that you have *EARNED*! Give yourself permission to feel this, and accept yourself.

Confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear.

StevLL

I agree with sunshine. Don't despair you've had awesome success, you have beautiful children and a loving husband. Now that you're so close to your goal, try changing up some of your goals and slowly start working on toning more and such. It will happen and I'm sure you'll start to realize what your husband probably already does. A real man likes a women with character and life and your perfect the way you are and when you can find that truth within, I guarantee everyone around you will see it and feel it. Be proud or your accomplishment and find your inner bold that your life experience has entitled you with!

achampionsheart

honey,
with age comes experience and with age comes another level of beauty.....just b/c your breasts arent perky, your hips are rounder, etc etc. doesnt mean that you are not beautiful....you are a mother and wife and with that comes so many beautiful things....all i can say is you need to embrace all that makes you YOU and be happy with the blessings in your life.....easier said than done i know, but when you realize that all the changes that have happened in your life have built you and made you stronger and better, then you will feel the beauty that your husband does

jclarewilliams

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

You have gotten some AMAZING advice! The only thing I want to add is: Quit being so hard on yourself!

You have achieved something that many (MANY) people merely talk about. You're walking the walk! Take a moment to really soak in the fact that you are, indeed, doing something for you, your family, and your future.

It WILL be okay. And only *you* set the limits. As Cris mentioned above, just because you're about to hit your original goal, doesn't mean you can't set new ones. Keep up the good work... we're all cheering you on.