What do you do about the naysayers?

eyescatchfire
eyescatchfire Posts: 257 Member
in Motivation and Support
So, I've lost enough weight by now that most people have noticed. I would like to lose another 20 pounds or so (somewhere between 125-130.) However, when I tell people that I still want to lose anything, they all look at me like I'm NUTS. Just to put this in perspective, I was in the obese BMI range 5 pounds ago. I am by no means wasting away!

Because my self image is so out of whack, I'm wondering if I'm just plain wrong! But I've never been an "average" size, and I just don't know what my body wants me to be! So, either I'm wrong, or everyone else is wrong, or trying to sabotage my best efforts. Has anyone else run into this? Is everyone around you telling you to stop already? Who wants to just bury their face in a bucket of ice cream?
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Replies

  • eyescatchfire
    eyescatchfire Posts: 257 Member
    So, I've lost enough weight by now that most people have noticed. I would like to lose another 20 pounds or so (somewhere between 125-130.) However, when I tell people that I still want to lose anything, they all look at me like I'm NUTS. Just to put this in perspective, I was in the obese BMI range 5 pounds ago. I am by no means wasting away!

    Because my self image is so out of whack, I'm wondering if I'm just plain wrong! But I've never been an "average" size, and I just don't know what my body wants me to be! So, either I'm wrong, or everyone else is wrong, or trying to sabotage my best efforts. Has anyone else run into this? Is everyone around you telling you to stop already? Who wants to just bury their face in a bucket of ice cream?
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
    How tall are you? What is your body frame size?
  • eyescatchfire
    eyescatchfire Posts: 257 Member
    I am 5 feet tall. I would say that I have a somewhat small build--tiny hands and feet, but big hips. (Like, hip hugger jeans don't work. I have to buy jeans that sit "at the waist" or else it's ugly. :wink:)
  • tamifanny
    tamifanny Posts: 113
    My immediate response?.....don't tell them:tongue:
  • eyescatchfire
    eyescatchfire Posts: 257 Member
    My immediate response?.....don't tell them:tongue:

    Somehow, I don't think my mom would like to hear that she needs to mind her own business! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • kenkraft
    kenkraft Posts: 38 Member
    I like the "burying my face in a bucket of ice cream" thing!!! Ok, kidding, but it's a funny visual...

    Ken
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Your profile says you want to be 145 by your birthday in October. I don't think that sounds at all unreasonable just going by my own height and my weight goals. I'm 5'3" and have a small frame. My goal is to be 140. After I get there I'll decide if I want to lose more or not. If your avatar shows what you look like today, I don't see that you look at all annorexic. So I think you should continue with your goal and don't worry about what everyone else says. That's just my opinion though.
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
    According to MFP's BMI calculator, if you weight 145 now?, then you're still in the obese range. Healthy range for that height is 94.7 (:noway: ) to 128. So I think you've set a good goal--Just ignore them and stick to your goals.

    I'm 5'4" and aiming for 140--which is high for m height but I have a very large frame.
  • eyescatchfire
    eyescatchfire Posts: 257 Member
    Healthy range for that height is 94.7 (:noway: ) to 128.

    Isn't that the craziest thing ever??? 95 pounds! WTF, seriously!
  • age1389
    age1389 Posts: 1,160 Member
    I'd say that is a reasonable weight to. I'm 5'1 and weigh between 111 to 115 (my scale is off so don't know which it is) and I'm not wasting away.
    Ignore them and moms always worry about there kids so she probably means well:flowerforyou:



    -Adrienne:heart:
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
    Healthy range for that height is 94.7 (:noway: ) to 128.

    Isn't that the craziest thing ever??? 95 pounds! WTF, seriously!

    I weighed more than that when I was 5 I think! And, i can't believe a few inches in height can make such a difference either. But you really need to consider your body frame as well as the height and I think it would have to be a VERY small frame person to carry off 95 pounds.
  • michlingle
    michlingle Posts: 797 Member
    I think people are saboteurs (SP?)...or they just don't know what else to say. I think if people are supportive of your last bit to lose, they may think they are really telling you that you are a bit overweight still...people don't like to be rude. ...I've learned to keep it to myself...after a few beers I spill my guts...blah blah blah-it's better just not to say at all.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Maybe they are just being nice? Telling you they love you just the way you are?

    I do that with my daughter sometimes and she reminds me that I wish I had pulled in the reins on my eating at 120 intead of 170!

    I say you are eating good healthy diet. Getting exercise that you need at ANY AGE OR SIZE so continue on your journey.

    I am proud of you and your mom will be too when she sees how you look at a 125 (which is to me my fav goal weight at 5'2"!!)

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
    You know what has irked me lately--a few people have told me how great I'm looking BUT THEN they'll continue along the lines "but you know how hard it is to keep it off, so I hope you can do that, too" :grumble:

    As if I didn't know that already and as if I needed to be reminded of the lifelong challenge ahead of me.

    Why can't people just stop with the "great job!" ?
  • GoGetterMom
    GoGetterMom Posts: 852 Member
    Sometimes those who love you most are the biggest saboteurs. They unknowingly burst your bubble and it can be hard to become inflated again. Give your friends and family the stats if need be.... My family tends to be big (6'1" to 7'2") and when they found out - back in the day- I was 145# at 5'7" they flipped. It is my ideal body weight. I let them get in my head and stopped doing what I should have... Now I am paying for it and running my butt off to get back to where I should be...

    Don't let them ruin the great things you have done for you! You are doing an awesome job. If your BMI goal is reasonable (thanks Shorerider), stick to your goal. Unfortunately, the loved ones come off sounding less than loving sometimes. You may have to sit down with them and (lovingly) give them the low down.

    *prayers for you* Blessings of success! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • eyescatchfire
    eyescatchfire Posts: 257 Member
    Ok guys, what I'm hearing is I need to keep my mouth shut! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Thanks for all the support...sometimes it's hard to tell if you're on the right path or you've just set the bar too damn high. Anyway, I'll keep chugging along...now that I think about it, I wish I just could be "done" already! :bigsmile:

    Shorerider, I know exactly what you mean--like we haven't thought about the prospect of keeping this going for the next several DECADES. :sick: :cry: :brokenheart: JK!
  • memuellerpa
    memuellerpa Posts: 18
    Wewereundone,

    You've done a GREAT job! I echo the advice given above... i.e., don't say too much to too many people, you ARE thinking correctly and are on the right track weight-wise, and that others may be simply trying to be nice.

    One more possibility is that there are so many obese and overweight people in this country now that a concept of "normal" is out of whack for a lot of people.

    Concentrate on being healthy, not primarily on your weight, and know that you are on the right track!
    Cheers!
    Mary
  • jill927
    jill927 Posts: 471 Member
    I've been there done that! I've lost over 40lbs as well, and when I said I wanted to lose more my best friend expressed concerns that she thought i might becoming anorexic. I laughed. Seriously, if you knew me, you'd understand how funny that is. I could NEVER be anorexic, I love food too much. I eat around 1400 calories a day, so it's not like I'm not eating. BUT I get it. People either 1) feel bad about themselves (she's about the same size as me...if she needs to lose weight does that mean I need to lose weight?) 2) Just love you and don't take it as a serious problem or 3) just need to be B*!ch slapped :laugh:

    You can do it, and just remember you're not doing this for anyone else. You're doing this for YOU.
  • punka274
    punka274 Posts: 895
    You know what has irked me lately--a few people have told me how great I'm looking BUT THEN they'll continue along the lines "but you know how hard it is to keep it off, so I hope you can do that, too" :grumble:

    As if I didn't know that already and as if I needed to be reminded of the lifelong challenge ahead of me.

    Why can't people just stop with the "great job!" ?

    OMG,My MIL tells me that all the time....secretly,I think she wants me to gain it all back:laugh: :laugh: On the other hand,my FIL is quick to give me a hug and tell me great job girl! :happy:

    Wewereundone,I say keep chugging along...my mom is always telling me I need to stop dieting! I just say ok...and let it go out the other ear:happy: And BTW..your ticker picture is making me hungry...:noway:
  • cp005e
    cp005e Posts: 1,495 Member
    I have been getting this a bit lately, too. I have lost enough weight now that pretty much everyone notices, and I am looking pretty decent. I still have a few pounds to go to get out of the "overweight" BMI range, and hopefully a few more after that (I have a large frame, so I am shooting for 150-155 at 5'7" - I'm currently around 163 and plateauing :frown: ). But I have had people look at me all concerned if I "admit" that I am still trying to lose, when they ask "aren't you done YET?!?!" or ask me if I have an eating disorder. :noway:

    People are weird. They might be jealous, they might just be used to seeing you as heavier and so that seems 'normal' to them, or they might really be trying to sabotage you. The latter is less likely IMO, but possible. Just keep doing what you're doing and they will eventually get over it - a few people at work have told me lately that seeing my loss is inspiring them to go to gym more!

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