Failure :('

AlwaysWanderer

Sorry in advance. I just need to get it off my chest.
I am a failure. A big one.
I started MFP in February, weighing 115lbs, trying to get to 110. Now, 3 months down the line, I weigh 120lbs. I've tried it all, counting calories, eating well, exercising, eating my calories back, but then I go and cheat at weekends, and all my hard work goes to pots. Why cant I do it? I just feel like giving up, but I know that if I do it then I will go back to my original 135lbs that I was a year ago. And I dont want that.
Sorry again, just feeling really down atm
'

sarahspence91

Dont give up, youve done so well!! Youve proved you can loose it, just keep doing whatever it was when you lost the first 20! Theres a good chance that if your excercising alot and eating just right that you'll be loosing fat and gaining muscle which could be why youve put weight on..

Good luck! Keep smiling! xx

av8rblond

Don't be so hard on yourself! So you are having a hard time of it..that is ok...you are making the effort and you will lose the weight. I have known people that by the charts are perfect body weight and they look awful because they are scowling and grumpy.

A smile makes you look 20 pounds lighter!

It will work out...I am sure of it

Oishii

Maybe, because you have so little available to lose, you should do it VERY slowly. I came on here to go from 130 lb to 120 lb, and stuck with 1200 kcals for a short while before increasing. Perhaps if you set your goal for .5 lb lost you'll find it easier to stick to and get the results you desire.

It is possible that some part of you fears being smaller. Although it's horribly out of date, Fat is a Feminist Issue really helped me to understand the reasons we can WANT extra weight. It's so old that it's super cheap on Amazon!

oldhippy

You havent failed until youve stopped trying. Read the book "Escape from emotional eating" You need to know there are no bad foods just bad decisions. Try to relax and live with the desicions you make. Nothing is irresversible. Yesterday I ate two huge bars of chocolate. I have to accept that decision and make better decisions today. Keep moving forward, really it's the only option. Be strong for yourself and you will get where you want to be. x

elizamc

"You havent failed until youve stopped trying. Read the book "Escape from emotional eating" You need to know there are no bad foods just bad decisions. Try to relax and live with the desicions you make. Nothing is irresversible. Yesterday I ate two huge bars of chocolate. I have to accept that decision and make better decisions today. Keep moving forward, really it's the only option. Be strong for yourself and you will get where you want to be. "


Very wise words! x

jeff261159

Right, you may not like this but MFP is here for support, not just praise!! I think you need to get things in perspective. Take a look at some recent posts where people have had 100lbs or more to lose. You are trying to lose 5lbs!!! To be frank, i could lose, or gain 5lbs in a day as a result of changing the time i use the toilet!!

If you only have 5lbs to lose it is likely your body wants to hang on to it, and by training you are making muscle, which we all know is heavier than fat. Your pic is fantastic and as a bloke, in response to one of your motivations, we dont find 'skinny' (your word, not mine) attractive.

You know your body and it looks far from fat, but you may be looking at getting toned, rather than getting 'skinny'. Dont get hung up on numbers on the scale. You look great, NOT FAT!!

AlwaysWanderer

Thanks guys
MFP is great for support, and I absolutely LOVE the community here. I think I'll just stick to that option, and stop counting calories. Jeff (thanks for the comment, btw - I think because I'm not "fat", I just dont have enough motivation. And it's not muscle. My clothes are getting tighter every day. It's not genetics, it's not my body's fault. It's just me, and my nonexistant will. Need to get a grip

chuisle

Have you measured inches or anything along those lines?

I hate the scale sometimes...I've been at a plateau for almost 7 weeks. BUT I've really been working out...I know I'm stronger and I am working to put better food in my body. Those are both victories even if I didn't enjoy all the success I wanted. Keep it up, I know the feeling but to me letting go wouldn't make me feel better...only worse!