Just need to vent....

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2

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  • Butterflynma
    Butterflynma Posts: 22 Member
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    Dara you're doing a great job. Keep up the good work!!! It's times like this we realize just how small our support system can really be. Keep pushing on and please don't let anyone throw a monkey wrench in your program.
  • Angela_MA
    Angela_MA Posts: 260
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    Perhaps you need to overhaul your friendship like you did with your workout routine? Surrounding ourselves with positve people will only help in acheiving our goals!
    However, before you drop kick her, perhaps tell her that it upset you that she would say things like that. Let her know that what you need is support and not negativity. If she is not down with supporting you, then drop kick her! :wink:
  • kimmerroze
    kimmerroze Posts: 1,330 Member
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    Im just going to let you know that I am 5'3" I weight about 140-142 and I am in a size four jeans.

    Weight has NOTHING to do with the size of your body, well not nothing, but what I mean is that 120 pounds isn't a size four, or 110 pounds insn't a size 2....

    someone can weigh more and be in a size 4 pant as someone who weighs substantially less and be in a size 4 pant too.

    I say rock on. Let her hater like attitude fuel your fire!
  • LittleD311
    LittleD311 Posts: 618 Member
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    I agree with each and everyone of you! She is a bit older than me, and maybe that adds more fuel to her fire, but good grief, i'm not in any competition with her!

    I just don't understand why people have to act certain ways, or say things, but whatever! I have been doing this for me! =D
  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
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    Some people are just toxic.
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
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    Non-supportive comments are just her way of saying she's intimidated by your committment, and feeling guilty about her own lack of commitment. Basically, her nasty comments are (saying) more about her than they are you. She reveals her insecurities in her comments. Don't let it get to you, and try to not be angry at her , she's feeling left behind and resentful that she isn't 'keeping up' with you. Next time she makes a comment, look her in the eye and say , "You know, I am so glad you are supporting me, I couldn't do this without your kind words."
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,049 Member
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    Shes just hatin! But not to fear my deear I will support you ;)
  • LittleD311
    LittleD311 Posts: 618 Member
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    In life I have always noticed the small percentage of people who take pleasure in others pain. If you are thinner, wealthier, more liked, have a better family life, etc., etc.; There will always be a few who secretly cheer for any bumps you hit in the road. Not sure if this is your friend or not; but I have known these people that I described.

    you hit that right on the head!

    B I N G O!
  • LittleD311
    LittleD311 Posts: 618 Member
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    Non-supportive comments are just her way of saying she's intimidated by your committment, and feeling guilty about her own lack of commitment. Basically, her nasty comments are (saying) more about her than they are you. She reveals her insecurities in her comments. Don't let it get to you, and try to not be angry at her , she's feeling left behind and resentful that she isn't 'keeping up' with you. Next time she makes a comment, look her in the eye and say , "You know, I am so glad you are supporting me, I couldn't do this without your kind words."

    soooo true!
  • LittleD311
    LittleD311 Posts: 618 Member
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    Shes just hatin! But not to fear my deear I will support you ;)

    ha ha ha! RIGHT!
  • electricnarwhal
    electricnarwhal Posts: 95
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    If she has a problem with it, why doesn't she just do the same stuff as you??? INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING ABOUT IT. Then you both can help each other out, instead of her thinking so negatively about you with your results. She could get the same, if she just worked at it instead of ragging on you.

    But whatever. You're doing this for yourself, not for her. Don't let her get to you. If that's how she wants to act, then let her waste her own energy being a Negative Nancy.
  • JMCade
    JMCade Posts: 389 Member
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    Sounds like pure jealousy! She's obviously not supportive. You need to surround yourself with those who genuinely care about you and your goals. You need a friend who is happy for you!:flowerforyou: Great job on all your hard work!
  • LittleD311
    LittleD311 Posts: 618 Member
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    If she has a problem with it, why doesn't she just do the same stuff as you??? INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING ABOUT IT. Then you both can help each other out, instead of her thinking so negatively about you with your results. She could get the same, if she just worked at it instead of ragging on you.

    But whatever. You're doing this for yourself, not for her. Don't let her get to you. If that's how she wants to act, then let her waste her own energy being a Negative Nancy.

    i totally agree with this, her new name should be debbie downer! LOL
  • LittleD311
    LittleD311 Posts: 618 Member
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    Sounds like pure jealousy! She's obviously not supportive. You need to surround yourself with those who genuinely care about you and your goals. You need a friend who is happy for you!:flowerforyou: Great job on all your hard work!

    thank you!
  • ubabe1
    ubabe1 Posts: 144 Member
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    Hey, look at it this way...obviously what you are doing is showing results because your "friend" has taken notice!! Keep on doing what you are doing and hold your head up high!! I don't think you need "freinds" like that!!
  • LittleD311
    LittleD311 Posts: 618 Member
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    hey, that is a good way of putting it!
  • thumper44
    thumper44 Posts: 1,464 Member
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    Ok, so , I started my weightloss journey October 4, 2010, since I had lost my job, and could tell I was ganing weight. I was about 152lbs when I joined the gym...Was going religiously for like 5 months, wasn't noticing a change in anything, so thats when I decided to buy P90X, I kept with it for 90 days, and was still going to the gym when I could, and after my 90 days which was May 9, 2011, I had lost a total of 8 lbs, and 14.5 inches thorughout my body. Well, during the whole time of me doing P90X, i was also going to the gym with my friend, and she wasn't being really supportive of me doing both, like, to me, she was annoyed that I was working out more than she was.....so, then all of a sudden , I told her I was going to get insanity, and she again blew me off, well, all of a sudden , she had it, and is doing it....well, i went to the gym with her the other day, and told her that I was so stoked that my size 4 jeans fit again! and she was like " there is NO WAY your in a size 4" like really? are you saying that out of jealously, or are you really that mean?

    do any of you have people like this around you in your life!?


    Congratulations first. I'm not trying to offend you at all.. I'm just saying the way i read some of this.
    I think communication is very important between people. Sometimes assumptions are just that..

    My opinion from what you said. You DO seem like your in a competition. You told her that you were doing DOUBLE workouts when you were going to the gym together, (so obviously the 2nd workout, she wasn't involved), and you told her about insanity.................... We assume she purchased Insanity and was doing it. ??

    So, did you every ask her if you wanted to do P90x with her? Did you ask her about doing Insanity together?
    Maybe she felt left out and thought if YOU were a good friend you might have offered to do P90x together.
    Hence when you mentioned Insanity, she said to herself.. "OH I'm going to get this for myself since you won't ask me to join you."

    Maybe I'm talking nonsense.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Then you said that you were doing P90x and the whole time going to the gym with your friend for the last 3 months.


    Then you say this.
    I haven't gone to the gym with her in months, and then I went on Friday, but hardly spoke to her!
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    if she is typically unsuportive, then you don't need friends like that.

    BUT

    Even the people who are super supportive and love us very much can struggle with the changes they see in us.

    I have someone in my life. She is 100% on my side, loves me unconditionally, and is my best most loved female. She has been rooting for me all along. She has always been the smaller one. When I resized my wedding ring, and I told her about it, she was saddened. It was tough on her to learn that my ring size was now smaller than hers because she has been very used to being the smaller one, for a very long time. I forgive her for that, and I understand that this change will take some adjustment from people around us.

    Try to decide based on her overall tendencies, rather than one circumstance.
  • jdod2012
    jdod2012 Posts: 5
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    Well first of all congratulations on your success and second, like you said "you're doing this for yourself" and she envies your results. If at all possible, try and see it as a compliment, and motivation...
  • sedric
    sedric Posts: 48 Member
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    Sounds like you need a new friend and better support group. And that's where we come in =) Congrats on your progress and keep up the good work!

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