the Catch 22 of self-esteem

TheGoblinRoad

I've spent the last 22 years of my 36-year-long life with low self-esteem.

If I were to get to a healthy weight, I KNOW for a fact it'd do wonders for my self-esteem.

Boosted self-esteem leading to boosted self-confidence.

Now the flip side: Low self-esteem & low self-confidence make it difficult to consistently lose weight.

Man.

What do you do?

DreamLittleDarling

sure wish I had an answer for you!

All I can say is, from personal experience, don't let your self esteem win the battle. Know that no matter what that little voice in the back of your head is saying, you CAN do this and youcan prove that little voice WRONG!

kmm7309

There's alot of... I don't want to use the word "tricks", but that's all I can think of.

Measure yourself in at least 5 spots of your body by the inch. Believe it or not, inches come off more quickly, and they are a more accurate measure of your hard work. I'm not saying that we're not losing the weight as fast as this implies, because obviously it's coming off if the inches are coming off, but since it's more accurate to your body, it helps you understand the fruits of your labor.

sarah44254

Just go. Do the exercises. Plan the meals. Focus on TODAY and focus on the path toward the future. You are making a better you, your choices right now are paving the way for confidence and self esteem in the future. I had terrible self esteem, I would put myself down all day long and I have no idea how I maintained a relationship the way I was. I am happier now, and have been since I started here. Even before I started losing weight, I was a little happier every day that I told myself "I can do it! I can make a better me!"

A healthier you, a happier you, a thinner you, any or all of these will result in better confidence/esteem. The happier part is the one that takes the most effort and the least sweat. Tell yourself every morning, out loud, that you are a great person and deserve a happy day. Then before bed, remind yourself, out loud, that you had an excellent day, full of learning and experience, and you are a better person for it. You might feel stupid doing it out loud, but the process of speaking, and hearing, it all helps.

I totally understand your situation and I know it takes effort but it is SO possible to change! You are an amazing person, I'm sure of it! Now, convince yourself!

oddyogi

Hype yourself up off small victories. Every time you lose a pound, feel immense pride.

It's crawl, walk, then run. One step at a time. Once you reach crawl, your confidence and esteem will be increasing; by the time you reach run, they'll be soaring so high you won't even notice once you hit your final goal.

Okay, maybe you will notice. But chances are, you'll be so confident and full of self-esteem, that reaching that EXACT weight or EXACT body fat percentage don't matter all that much--what matters most is how you feel!

melbaby925

I read a book last year that changed everything for me...in one line: The voice in your head is not always right.

Simple concept, isn't it?

Anytime that voice in your head tries to show you some reason to believe it - by replaying something bad from your past, or bringing up some hurt feeling, or telling you that you are ugly/fat/worthless, you can shut it in a box. Yell at it. Tell it to go away and that it is wrong.

Eventually - the voice will go away. It will be replaced with: I am worthy of respect, I have this great body that isn't perfect, but it takes me from point A to point B and I need to treat it with care. I'm PROUD of the choices I made today with my exercises, eating choices, and how strong I am becoming.

Hang in there! It's worth it, and it will happen for you.

TDGee

Make a list of your goals.
Pick one of those goals, it needs to be reasonable and attainable.
Focus on that goal. Keep moving forward towards achieving that goal.
Analyze how you are progressing at some point, do you need to revise or change your approach? If yes, then change it up.
When you achieve the goal, move on to the next goal.
Continue until all goals achieved or you make new goals.

Small steps, while small, still count as steps, and move you forward.

Good luck, it can be done!!

queen_bea

Think happy thoughts! Think about all your amazing qualities

marniehodges

You've lost 33 pounds! That is no small accomplishment! I rarely comment on the message boards, but something about your post struck me. I looked at your profile and see that you are happily married and have a child. You are making good choices to improve your life (not just your weight). Focus on the little accomplishments along the way...not the end game. This is not a diet, so there is no end game. I was so excited one day when I was putting deoderant on and noticied my armpits were hollow when I put it on....now how is that for weird??!! :laugh: Keep doing what you're doing and know that it's ok to pat yourself on the back now and then!

Good luck to you!! :drinker:

KarenLouise1981

I live by setting myself little goals and praising myself when I do it. When I started this was going to the gym with my fiance then he left to go OS for 6 months so my first goal was to get to the gym in my workout gear - done/well done Karen! Then built it from there; row 500m, row 500m in ...time, row 1km in ...time. cycle goals, treadmill goals, weight goals - it goes on but I always started with small goals I could achieve then gradually built on them. My self-confidence in the process increased so my self confidence in myself also increased and after 4 months I look in the mirror now and just think wow! Look at what I have done! By BF isn't going to recognise me when he is home lol! Always remember to congratulate yourself as it is you that achieved it after all. If you don't feel like too much of a goose you could always "talk" to yourself in the mirror - a well done or a "I am strong and I will get rid of you belly/man boobs/booty" goes a long way to talking to your inner person.

Feel free to add me if you would like some support on your journey.

Karen

TheGoblinRoad

I appreciate the ideas and encouragement, everyone. Just got to take this one step at a time, one crunch at a time, one heart-pounding moment at a time.

I'm glad I lost 33. I just wish I felt it. I can't tell the difference yet. Im sure I will, though