'Fat friend' no more!

verptwerp

The original post was posted almost a year ago. How did anyone even find this thread?

Some things never change, though LOL

ffffaaatttt

It does suck when people you look to for encouragement, let you down. I know a thing or two about this.... lol... We just have to accept the fact that there is no one you can count on but yourself. This long journey we are on is all about changing ourselves for the better. One of the things we can work on is self reliance, and independence. :P You can always seek the love and support of MFP... I have met some of the nicest, most considerate women on here. Shout out! Love you guys!

jcstanton

I've not really experienced that. I'm fortunate to have friends and family who support me 100%. However, if I did have a "friend" who was like that, I think (when they try to influence me to eat junky foods) I'd have to say (in a joking tone of voice, while actually being completely serious) something like, "No, I'm not gonna eat that! Are you TRYING to sabotage all my hard work?!"

notnormallyacaloriecounter

that's what i always referred to myself as, the "fat friend" and i was okay with it for a while, then i just became embarrassed by it. my best friend of 11 years has always told me that she couldn't picture me skinny because "my body is so proportional" being the size i was. i don't know if it was her trying to make me feel better about being fat, or her way of keeping herself on the pedestal she's always been on. i've dropped 19 pounds, and went over in my new pants (2 sizes down, with a fabulous looking *kitten*) and she said nothing until i mentioned my new jeans after i ripped them on her porch swing. she's always had to one up me and that's fine, because it just pushes me to work harder, so i can get more looks. it's kind of fun. she's a pain in the *kitten* but i love her, what are you going to do? lol

manderann

I'm actually the "skinny" friend in my group of girls, and let me tell you, it's equally frustrating for me to have *that one* girl who is bitter and/or trying to sabotage my healthier lifestyle. I guess I kind of know how you feel. My friends are beautiful women, they're just built differently than I am. There's nothing wrong with that. I didn't seek these women out so that I'd look "better" around them, I chose them as my friends because they are great people. Granted, the one girl who is bitter is not one of my friends personally, just a friend of a friend and she also happens to be my neighbor, but she makes comments in front of everyone like "Well, I wish I was half as skinny as you are. If I was that small, I wouldn't complain!!" It's just frustrating because I'm not trying to look like a model, I just want to be healthy enough to live life. I just want to scream "Well if you want to look half as skinny as me, maybe you should get off facebook and DO something!"

Don't let anyone else get you down. If your friends are jealous of how good you look, let them be. Maybe it'll inspire them to go do something good for themselves, and if it doesn't? Oh freakin' well.

marynmarty

I'm sorry but I find that really rude. Why in the world would a "true" friend not want you to lose weight and be healthy? I'm sorry your going through that as she should be saying how great you are looking. I'm always trying to be supportive with my friends. I have some that are doing great and some that are struggling but I try to help in anyway I can whether it's support or exercising with them. We are all struggling in one way or another and that's why we always reach out for support and try to support others. No matter what, I will always tell my friends they are looking good because that helps boost them and helps them to keep going. I hope you lose all the weight you want to lose and maybe you can find a new friend who appreciates you. This friend is obviously jealous!!!!

KatFierce

yeah same here but it was my sister, when I first started and she lived with me I was like 10lbs down and you could see a bit in my face and all of a sudden (she had never bought groceries before) cookies, cakes, pizzas and chips were appearing like mad. And she ordered tons of takeout like every night!!

MoreThanMommie

Anyone else think the date on the OP is odd?

jcstanton

The original post was posted almost a year ago. How did anyone even find this thread?

Even more so....how did a whole year pass without ANYONE responding to it?! This is a legitimate (albeit redundant) issue. My guess is the first commentor did a topic search of some kind, found this title, thought sounded interesting, and clicked on it. She probably (like me) didn't even notice the date.

ONE03

My friends have always been supportive of my goals. They'd ask if I could eat this or that without making me feel comfortable! Exactly why we're friends.

optimumchill

Sometimes a hater is just gon' hate...lol...friends, family...most times the person you least expect it from, etc...however it doesn't matter..just keep remembering 'who' "you" are doing this for...because no one else matters.

Good luck on your journey!

rachcamp88

A "friend" asked me how my diet was going and when I told her how much I had lost she replied 'I had better go on a diet,can't have you being a supermodel and me being the fat friend' at the time I made a joke back saying it would be a long time before I ever looked like a supermodel but it still annoys me and I have barely spoken to her since,I wish I hadn't made a joke and had told her how I felt but I was put on the spot and just wanted the conversation to be over,

cjpg

I don't think you're paranoid at all.
I'm pretty sure if you thought about it hard enough you'd see many aspects of your life that this friend seems envious of. To me, you seem like a very intuitive person and you appear to be wanting to see this person in a brighter light - but sometimes it is as blunt as you think, she's jealous and either consciously or subconsciously is not supporting you. Whether it is because of an ulterior motive to 'hold you back' remains to be seen. What can be said is that you're TWO STONE ACHIEVEMENT (congrats, girl!) is something that is a warning sign to me. Personally, I needed to lose 10 kilos before ANYONE noticed a change but once I got to that point I was hearing it from my family, friends - people close to me. Then I lost 20 kilos and the compliments just poured in.
What I'm saying is, she's obviously jealous. And maybe holding you back 'validates' her, if that's what she's doing. All you can really do is smile at that point though - you're an amazing person and someone is looking at your life with awe. If you want to voice it you can, but could choose to be humble about your progress. At the end of the day people need to wake up and realise what they have is a blessing. Your friend needs to wake up.

Laurej

1st of all, CONGRATS!!! what an accomplishment.:flowerforyou:

secondly, I completely get where you are coming from.

Many of my friends have "ditched" me now that I'm on a path to a healthier lifestyle. I have this sneaking suspicion that they either hate the fact that I'm getting skinnier or hate that it makes them look at their own lack of discipline.

I have one friend who every time I go over she pulls out a huge plate of chicken wings out of the oven and says EAT EAT! LOL

I have another friend who actually will text me pictures of her giant plates of various meat and potato, ribs, bacon avocado cheeseburgers etc, with a title of that says MY dinner then text me a pic of some lame looking salad that say YOUR dinner. with a big LOL at the end. :grumble:

One of these days I'm going to get annoyed enough to text her a pic of my old pants that says YOUR pants, and a pic of my new pants that says MY pants.

You keep doing what's right for you , You'll find new friends, and you'll feel AMAZING when you do seem them again!

CynGoddess

One of these days I'm going to get annoyed enough to text her a pic of my old pants that says YOUR pants, and a pic of my new pants that says MY pants.

I LOVE THAT IDEA!