Why are you doing this?

dml219

I do feel that the motivation needs to come from within and for yourself. Doing it for others and their approval is a fragile reason, because if you do not get the feedback you desire at each stage to keep going, you may feel rejected and give up. I have focused inward and decided that my health was number one reason. I am in my late 40's and I do not want late onset diabetes, which runs in my family, or heart problems. Secondly, I want to feel energetic and sensual again. I can't do that in size clothing that is ill fitting and shapeless. Third, I want to begin exploring and experiencing life without fears. Being 45 pounds overweight and out of shape, I evaluate every physical activity I do because I fear asthma attacks or exhaustion. I want to be able to go hiking, exploring, even sit in an airplane seat comfortably for long hours, without fear or anxiety. Getting into shape equates to power and control for me. I think once I conquer it I will be empowered to live life to it's fullest.

beckyinma

First and foremost, I'm doing it for my kids. I want to be healthier for them. The first week of mfp, I lost about 5 lb, and my premature ventricular contractions (PVC) went away. completely. I haven't had a single off beat or flutter in a month.. before, I was counting thousands of missed and off-timed, occasionally hard heartbeats daily... now... none.. even under stress... I used to be up all night when it was constant, counting beats...I would kiss the ground each morning that I actually woke up and my heart didn't fail me in my sleep... I still do that though, but in a much happier less worried way.

Second, I'm doing it for me. Reasons like everyone said, to look better in the mirror.

Third, and least for hubby, he likes me the way I am.. (what's that Sir Mix A Lot song, I like big butts.. LOL!) But I still see him looking at women with beautiful healthy curves, and I do it too...

Amy_B

I was just thinking some more on the subject. Here are some reasons I don't want him to change his lifestyle for me.

I was in middle school, and I was overweight. I really liked this boy, and I thought if I lost weight, he would like me back. I dieted and exercised, probably too much, and I got really thin. He didn't notice me, but I was able to pretty much maintain that weight until I met someone in high school, my future (and current) husband. I was thin for a bit, but when we got comfortable with each other, I started putting on weight, which ended up leading me to 220 pounds before even having kids. I did it for a boy to start with, not for myself, and I couldn't maintain.

Another thing is that my husband goes through spurts. He will be really working on exercise and portion control, then he'll quit. He just keeps going through this. I think when/if he realizes that he needs to find reasons himself for doing this, then he'll stick with it. I'm just kind of sick of the ups and downs over and over again.

I thought this time might be different though since his uncle was just diagnosed with colon cancer. Hubby realized that if he didn't want to get cancer (or at least to lower his odds), he needed to get healthy. I thought that until last night when he told me he was just doing it for me. Ugh!

Amy_B

I'm no psychologist but I would guess by your post that your hubby could probably feel a bit insecure that you lost weight and may not want you to think of him any differently because he hasn't. Maybe you can assure him that you love him no matter what and if he loses weight, he should consider doing it more for himself than anyone else, but that you will be proud of him whether he does or not! Then the two of you can work out together and hopefully live happily and healthy ever after!! JMO

We definitely discussed this last night, and he knows I would never venture outside of our relationship. I just want him to do it for himself to feel better and be around longer.

ARMom8251

I lost the weight first and most importantly for myself. It took a long time of plenty of failures before I realized maybe the biggest reason for my failure was because I was doing it for EVERYONE else but myself. After I reached my heaviest of 200 pounds I said this is enough. I am tired of living this way and feeling this way. I wanted to live a full healthy life but this was for my family as much as for myself. I wanted to be the best wife and mother I could be and being as unhealthy as I was just wasn't being a good example. I want to be a good role model in my children's life...I didn't have one of those...and I struggled with finding the right balance and learning to eat healthier because it was not something I was never taught. I started this thing full force and while I have had minor set backs I have never stopped going. Now because of my healthy choices of eating right and exercise I have inspired so many others to follow suit. My husband has lost 20 pounds and my children now know that there are healthy choices out there that are just as good as the bad, and they also know exercise is VERY important in life. I feel good about myself and the role model I have become to my children. 42 pounds since Jan.2011 is what I have lost, and I am very proud of myself and all that I have accomplished.

SarahC75

More than why you're doing it, is the fact of whether you are READY to do it. You can have all your ducks in a row and know why you want to get in shape and change your eating, but if you aren't truly committed and ready for it, you will never see it through. The time is different for everyone.

Exactly!

I "thought" I was ready a couple of years ago. Went through the motions, but saw no results whatsoever. However, now, I can truly say ... This time it totally feels right!

runlaugheatpie

I have had so many reasons in the past to do this. And I've done it. I've lost weight even kept it off for a few years. I never learned how to not use food (and alcohol to an extent) to self-medicate though. Every time I went through a major life drama, I put the weight back on. In March 2009, after several false starts I was ready again. To do it for me. To feel better about myself. To be perfectly honest, my husband loves me no matter what my outside is like, so I could never really say I was doing it for him.

I've been on a plateau for a year and a half. I wanted to do this for my health, my confidence, longevity, but I started running in 2009 and now all I want to do is lose weight to be a better runner. I never thought I would think that way but to be honest, I could stay right where I'm at and be ok with a little bit of pudge, but I HATE that I can not improve my running because of my weight. I had (in my opinion) a huge failure recently with a Half Marathon I participated in and I am more than 100% sure had I been rid even 15 lbs more I could have done better.

Anyway. that's why I'm here. Because it has to come off now. For me, the runner.