I failed and drank....

xoalyssaox

I went to Chili's tonight and I failed again I also had 2 Hurricanes, and now I am depressed and I hate my body...
I wish I could just lose this weight. I wish people knew how I felt..
They never will. Its so easy to talk on here...so I think I will..

For about 8-9 months back in 2006 I was anorexic/bulimic.. I would only eat if I HAD to (if family was around) but if I did i'd throw it up..
I would only eat like 200 calories a day..

But then I got pregnant, and I stopped fully and totally cause I KNEW I had something to live for.. Like God blessed me with a baby to show me what life is about..

I love my son...but now I am 30 pounds more than I used to be, and I just want my old body back. I took pics tonight with friends and just realized how big I am..

I went to counseling but I quit cause she was an idiot..
I would never starve myself again, cause I know I have another life to take care of, but I just hate myself and it causes soooo many problems in my marriage, and I just don't think I will ever be able to lose this..I don't know how.

xoalyssaox

I went to Chili's tonight and I failed again I also had 2 Hurricanes, and now I am depressed and I hate my body...
I wish I could just lose this weight. I wish people knew how I felt..
They never will. Its so easy to talk on here...so I think I will..

For about 8-9 months back in 2006 I was anorexic/bulimic.. I would only eat if I HAD to (if family was around) but if I did i'd throw it up..
I would only eat like 200 calories a day..

But then I got pregnant, and I stopped fully and totally cause I KNEW I had something to live for.. Like God blessed me with a baby to show me what life is about..

I love my son...but now I am 30 pounds more than I used to be, and I just want my old body back. I took pics tonight with friends and just realized how big I am..

I went to counseling but I quit cause she was an idiot..
I would never starve myself again, cause I know I have another life to take care of, but I just hate myself and it causes soooo many problems in my marriage, and I just don't think I will ever be able to lose this..I don't know how.

xoalyssaox

I went to Chili's tonight and I failed again I also had 2 Hurricanes, and now I am depressed and I hate my body...
I wish I could just lose this weight. I wish people knew how I felt..
They never will. Its so easy to talk on here...so I think I will..

For about 8-9 months back in 2006 I was anorexic/bulimic.. I would only eat if I HAD to (if family was around) but if I did i'd throw it up..
I would only eat like 200 calories a day..

But then I got pregnant, and I stopped fully and totally cause I KNEW I had something to live for.. Like God blessed me with a baby to show me what life is about..

I love my son...but now I am 30 pounds more than I used to be, and I just want my old body back. I took pics tonight with friends and just realized how big I am..

I went to counseling but I quit cause she was an idiot..
I would never starve myself again, cause I know I have another life to take care of, but I just hate myself and it causes soooo many problems in my marriage, and I just don't think I will ever be able to lose this..I don't know how.

OH and by the way, the reason I thought the phsycologist I went to was an idiot, is cause she was blaming my husband for my insecurities, when I didnt even know him when I was suffering from it

lyla29

You just have to take it one day at a time. It took a while for you to gain the weight and it will take a while to lose it too. Tomorrow is a new day so you can start over again and see how you do.

kathyjo

Okay...first...you are gorgeous!!! You are super cute and so is your baby.

Second....we all have rough days. I'm sorry you are feeling down. But remember that you have lots of friends and lots of support on here. We are all behind you in this weight loss journey. We are all going through the same thoughts and feelings you are.

I know that everyone says this, but you didn't put the weight on overnight and it isn't going to come off overnight. I have to tell myself that all the time. It took you nine months to grow that gorgeous baby (and maybe a few extra pounds), so it's going to take some time to get rid of it too! Stay with it...I know that if you do you will be happy that you did soon!

michlingle

The biggest challenge for me has been staying away from the social drinking that I do and the consequences from said drinking. I eat horribly and drink way too much. I log it and move on...believe it or not I've been steady at a pound per week even with these binges every couple of weeks. I too have struggled with ED...mine was bulemia for about 10 years....I recently learned that you only get rid of like 30% of the cals....never could be anorexic...so I guess I've always been slightly overweight. It too caused probs in the marriage and I saw someone about it too...she never said much just listened and finally after I got sick of spending so much I realized I just have to kick myself in the a** and fix this problem myself. You can do it....you have given birth and have a beautiful child to be your best for....don't don't don't don't quit!

harleydiva

Hello,

I will not tell you that I know what you are going thru as I do not have that illness. But the first step is realizing you have problem. Second big step is going to seek professional help. There is more then just then one person you can go to. I would suggest also looking to see if there is support group there locally.

You did not fail. Today you may not lost weight or did not lose as much as you could have. Tommorrow will be the past and tommorrow will be present. Each day new day is new beginning.

if you have need to talk just drop me email

jenninsocal

Oh 2 drinks is 2 drinks, its not the end of the world. You are beautiful! I know you want to lose the weight, but having a couple drinks here or there isnt going to stop the weight loss altogether. I think treating yourself ocasionally keeps your mind sane. Dont beat yourself up over it!

Anorexia is serious, and if you were able to overcome it for the healthy of you and your baby, you can do anything. Give yourself props for that

xoalyssaox

Oh 2 drinks is 2 drinks, its not the end of the world. You are beautiful! I know you want to lose the weight, but having a couple drinks here or there isnt going to stop the weight loss altogether. I think treating yourself ocasionally keeps your mind sane. Dont beat yourself up over it!

Anorexia is serious, and if you were able to overcome it for the healthy of you and your baby, you can do anything. Give yourself props for that

Yeah I am not upset about drinking two drinks, the alcholol made me depressed and brought on these feelings... I wish I could just lose it again....

PSUgrl921

You did not fail!!! One night is one night ... I'm in college. I have them, too. Just get back on track tomorrow. Going over one day is not going to screw up your weight loss for the week by much. You CAN do this!!

arewethereyet

I know how you feel about the counselor. Try again...find someone who can and will help you.

I am much older and my problems were different.

The 1st lady I went to see sat immediately said something like " you will get better and your husband will remain a jerk and you will grow and leave him, are you ready to do that"

HUH:noway:

I was there to work on ME, my hubby didnt have much to do with the issues of self esteem I was dealing with.

So I tried again and actually again...and found a great counselor. DH and I are celebrating 25 years together. Not always bliss, but that is life!

xoalyssaox

yeah that is exactly what she said to me. I was like, um hello I am here to better my marriage and get over my feelings I've had my whole entire life, and your telling me I am going to leave my husband and realize its all him, when I know in my mind i've been this way my whole life. Not to mention I couldnt afford going anymore..

I know how you feel about the counselor. Try again...find someone who can and will help you.

I am much older and my problems were different.

The 1st lady I went to see sat immediately said something like " you will get better and your husband will remain a jerk and you will grow and leave him, are you ready to do that"

HUH:noway:

I was there to work on ME, my hubby didnt have much to do with the issues of self esteem I was dealing with.

So I tried again and actually again...and found a great counselor. DH and I are celebrating 25 years together. Not always bliss, but that is life!

xoalyssaox

Hello,

I will not tell you that I know what you are going thru as I do not have that illness. But the first step is realizing you have problem. Second big step is going to seek professional help. There is more then just then one person you can go to. I would suggest also looking to see if there is support group there locally.

You did not fail. Today you may not lost weight or did not lose as much as you could have. Tommorrow will be the past and tommorrow will be present. Each day new day is new beginning.

if you have need to talk just drop me email

Thank you

PrincessLaundry

Look at what you have changed for you and your family thus far! Hooray you!!! Keep making small achievable forward goals and you will succeed! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

:flowerforyou:

sapphyre0702

You will lose the weight! Just take it one day at a time. I find that if I start thinking too far in advance it just gets overwhelming. I find that the more I focus on just being healthy and feeling healthy the more weight I lose and the better I feel. Also I cut bread and cereal out of my diet and noticed that I immediately felt so much slimmer and a few pounds followed that.

The best advice I have is just make sure you are eating enough including your exercise calories. It seems counter intuitive, but I tried it a few months ago and it worked amazingly. I was stuck at around 800 calories a day and couldn't lose a pound. A few weeks after eating about 1200 and my exercise calories it began coming off.

Good luck!

xoalyssaox

Look at what you have changed for you and your family thus far! Hooray you!!! Keep making small achievable forward goals and you will succeed! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

:flowerforyou:

Is losing 5 pounds in 2 weeks acheivable? Doesn't the first like 10 pounds come off faster or is that false?

PrincessLaundry

Look at what you have changed for you and your family thus far! Hooray you!!! Keep making small achievable forward goals and you will succeed! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

:flowerforyou:

Is losing 5 pounds in 2 weeks achievable? Doesn't the first like 10 pounds come off faster or is that false?

Everyone has a different norm...If you have 100 pounds to lose, you are going to lose faster. If you have just a few to lose, it is going to go slower. I went about a month right after I hit 15 pounds without losing ANYTHING!!! But wait...Silly me!!! I tried on some jeans and shirts and HOLY COW!! I lost inches!

The most important thing to do is to push through and see what happens! Keep setting your goals at "see what happens in 14 days" and then rethink things. That will keep you moving forward. You can do this!!!! Keep going forward and don't give up. You know the results of giving up, right? So stick with it for new results! YEY YOU!

lyla29

My first 10 lbs came off in about 1 1/2 months, but a lot of it had to do with realizing what I was eating. After I started logging my food, I saw what I was really eating and changed it. The last 10 lbs has been a lot harder, and I had to change my goals to 1/2 lb per week and have continued to lose, but very slowly, which is fine because I am closer to my goal now, and it takes longer to lose the smaller amounts of weight. Just keep trying, and change things every few weeks to see what works for you

pamelaeilf

{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you

You have headed in the right direction, you are here, asking for support.

Set youself some small daily goals - get 64 oz of water in minimum, maintaining your calorie intake, watching your carbs and fat intake.

Does your insurance cover dietian or nutritional couseling? With the anorexia in your past, your metabalism may be way out of wack, another reason for not losing like you want.

You can do this.

Best of luck

xoalyssaox

Ugh I know this is going to sound a bit phsycho but like when I had an ED I lost 30 pounds in like 2 months. I know its not healthy I KNOW that.. but it was so easy..
Please don't think I am saying I am going to do that, I just know in my heart that its the only thing that actually worked for me..

But then again when I was pregnant and ate normally again I put 60 pounds on in 9 months..So.....I mean it worked but it didn't in the long run?...

I guess my problem is I want to be skinny NOW and that can't happen, so I need to learn to take small steps instead of big leaps.. right?

neeterskeeter

I agree, find a new counselor, one who can really help you. I had a lot of self-esteem issues and after several tries I finally found a really great therapist who has helped me so much. Now I realize that I have to love myself and be kind to myself... honey life is too short to beat yourself up for drinking 2 hurricanes. You are young and beautiful and you deserve to have fun. But, as I think you know, you won't truly believe or feel this until you work out your internal issues. I wish you the very best and I just hope you know that true beauty is on the inside. Staying active and *usually* eating well overall will help you feel your physical best but everyone is allowed to have some splurges sometimes, including hurricanes. Just enjoy life and remember when you were a little girl, how innocent and beautiful you were. You are still that little girl, just all grown up, so love yourself because no one else can love you like you can. Best wishes.