Any women have this relationship problem because of weight?

DanaM810

I just wanted to ask my fellow MFP girls out there if they can relate to this since it is not a feeling I wish to share with people who know me very well. I've lately been paranoid as to the security of my relationship of over 2 years and I know the root of it is how I see myself in comparison to other women. Although my boyfriend has never given me a reason to think he would cheat, you always wonder when you know beautiful girls with perfect bodies who have been cheated on. This makes me realize more than ever that I need to start to love me again and free myself of this feeling, among others. Anyone have any advice or experience in this area and can offer any support?

mytime60

How you see yourself is the base for any relationship. Shortly after getting married I started putting on weight and didn't quit for a lot of years. While my husband always complimented me through all those years I never felt great about myself and wouldn't thank him or acknowlege the compliment. I too never got a feeling that he was even looking at others but every woman he would talk to I would wonder if he would rather be with her. Three years ago I lost 25 lbs and felt great. My attitude and outlook changed. But I didn't loose it the right way and couldn't keep it off. So now I'm doing it the right way...eating healthy and exercising and so far I have lost 35 pounds. My husband and I will celebrate 25 years this fall and I plan on being in a bathing suit (first time in 10 years) on a beach in Tahiti with him! My confidence has changed and people tell me I look great! But along with the weight loss I changed the way I think. I did this for me, not my husband, and not my kids. I wanted to be healthy, and thinner for my peace of mind. Maybe that's why it's working this time. My husband by the way says my attitude is the sexist thing about me these days; but the body is not bad!

ashleyk_xox

Oh-Im the same way. My boyfriend has never given me a reason either, he constantly tells me Im beautiful but I am still self-concious around him and always wondering if he wishes I were smaller or he was with someone prettier or smaller than me. I feel that I need to love myself as well so that I can be confident and instead of constantly worrying about what he thinks about me know that he loves me for me. He takes me places to meet his friends and they ALL have skinny/beautiful girlfriends or wives and then Im sitting there feeling like crap because Im scared he is ashamed of me (which I know hes not but I still feel that way) Ugh-I want to be confident and feel like he wants to show me off) this is one of my motivations. So yes-I know how you feel and I don't know of any advice because I have the WORST self-esteem, and I am SOO jealous and I think it all stems from my weight. BLAH.