Too fat to get pregnant...anyone else out there?

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sandyfeet10
sandyfeet10 Posts: 280 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I feel so mad at myself for getting too big to think about getting pregnant. All my life, I wanted to have a family. As a kid, I daydreamed about the kind of mini van I would buy to fit my enourmous family in.

I got married last summer and my hubby and I can't even try to get pregnant because my BMI is 39, I'm just over 200 lbs, and only 5 ft. tall.

I am incredibly angry with myself and some days I can use that anger as fuel for a workout and other days I just want to cry.

Anyone else know the feeling?
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Replies

  • sandyfeet10
    sandyfeet10 Posts: 280 Member
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    Sorry that there are 2 postings...not sure why.
  • jpalmer7384
    jpalmer7384 Posts: 23
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    I do, and once you start losing weight its that much easier to get pregnant, trust me lol as I now have 3 kids...Don't let it discourage you, let it motivate you!! Good luck!! Friend me if you'd like
  • EQHanks
    EQHanks Posts: 170 Member
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    Sorry to hear about your troubles getting pregnant. The great thing is that you are here on mfp, logging your food, and getting healthy. We are all here to support you! Good luck
  • Aeliyah
    Aeliyah Posts: 247
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    I hear you completely... My biggest fear is not being able to have children! My BMI is at 34 and I'm pretty sure my fiance and I would have a hard time getting pregnant if we were to try. Just think though... any weight loss can help! And you can SO do this! It takes some time of course, but give it a few weeks, maybe a few months, and I know you won't regret a second of it! Best of luck :)
  • sdavisneill
    sdavisneill Posts: 115 Member
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    There's a great support group of women on here that are trying to conceive while working on getting healthy. Feel free to check us out and good luck with your journey!

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/254620-fit-for-future-families-june-2011
  • sandyfeet10
    sandyfeet10 Posts: 280 Member
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    We actually haven't even been trying yet because we know it's not right to even try when I'm this big.
  • ranewell
    ranewell Posts: 621 Member
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    I'm in the same boat. i was told I may be able to get pregnant with a lot of medical assistance, assistance I probably wouldn't need if I were thinner and in better shape. So, here I am!
  • SarahWrittenThin
    SarahWrittenThin Posts: 595 Member
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    This is a huge reason why I'm here. I'm waiting to marry my love until I can get my weight under control and we can start a healthy life together and we can start/add to our family (he has a son). I've seen a lot of people my size and bigger on here who have gotten pregnant and had children at this size but I don't think it would happen with me. I want to get to 170 or 160 before I am willing to try and I'm at 277 right now so I have over 100 pounds to go before I will be happy and can begin my life in other aspects beyond school. romance, looking for work and dieting. I have not talked to a dr much about it beyond "I would advise you lose weight prior to becoming pregnant". I just stared at her like..."no...really? I never thought... " ugh. such a sensitive topic for women in our situation who have always wanted kids.
  • lizbeth436
    lizbeth436 Posts: 40 Member
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    I'm not trying to criticize your reasons for losing weight but I conceived my daughter almost 6 years ago and I am the same size now (after losing 30 lbs) as I was then. I had a very healthy pregnancy and a very healthy baby. I'm sure every situation is different but my doctor never told me that I was to heavy to conceive. I've just never heard of someone not being able to conceive because of weight. But I wish you the best of luck with the weight loss and future family.
  • AshDHart
    AshDHart Posts: 818 Member
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    I'm not trying to criticize your reasons for losing weight but I conceived my daughter almost 6 years ago and I am the same size now (after losing 30 lbs) as I was then. I had a very healthy pregnancy and a very healthy baby. I'm sure every situation is different but my doctor never told me that I was to heavy to conceive. I've just never heard of someone not being able to conceive because of weight. But I wish you the best of luck with the weight loss and future family.

    I know it would always be better to be as healthy as you can but I had a very successful pregnancy weighing 315 lbs. She is now a very happy and healthy almost 16 year old. I'm so glad I didn't wait to have her as I am still struggling with my weight and might not ever had been able to if I waited. Best of luck with your weigh loss and future pregnancies!
  • kellyscomeback
    kellyscomeback Posts: 1,369 Member
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    That was and still is me. When I was at my max of 240 I couldn't get pregnant. Then when I was at 210 I started getting pregnant but lost the pregnancies after 2-3 weeks. I did a full year of IF treatments from pills to nurses giving me shots and then me giving myself shots and I only got pregnant once in that year. I then gave up and went on a weight loss binge dropping another 20 lbs. I had another miscarriage after that then got pregnant with my DD 3 months after the 6th loss.

    We've been TTC mildly for the last year and right now I am focusing on myself and losing as much weight as I can before December, then (if DH has a job) we'll really start trying again.
  • Kedralea
    Kedralea Posts: 15
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    I'm a new(ish) Mom, my son is 10 months. He was a complete surprise, but none the less my dh and I were ecstatic to have him, but I felt bad my whole pregnancy for being as big as I am and we've always said we would have our kids 3 years apart so thats why I'm starting my journey because now I have a year to get down to a healthy weight because I want to feel good about myself next pregnancy around. I hope you are able to achieve your goal as well!
  • sandyfeet10
    sandyfeet10 Posts: 280 Member
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    thanks for your support everyone!

    the big reason i want to lose weight before trying is that there are so many things you cannot control when it comes to children, but i can control my weight. i can do my part as best i can to prevent knee issues, gestastional diabetes, preclampsia(spelling?), etc. sometimes you can't control those things and it's just genetic, but i want to make sure i've done everything i could to be healthy for baby.

    i don't want to be one of those pregnant women that people can't tell if you have a chubby belly or a baby bump! i want to have a distinctive baby bump!

    thanks again for all the support.
  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
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    I think you've made a good choice by deciding to get fit before getting pregnant. Like you said, there are so many things that can go wrong, and being fit can help a lot. Plus I think it will be more difficult to have the time to exercise/ eat right once you have a baby to take care of.

    Going off on a tangent, it's interesting because you and I seem to be so different in this. I've never wanted to have kids. It's not the pregnancy or the birthing that scares me; it's the process of raising a child and making sure he/she becomes a mature, responsible, compassionate human being.

    The surprising part is that even though I don't really know you, I'm filled with this strong, genuine feelings to support you from the bottom of my heart -- not 'in spite of' our differences, but 'because of.' Haha, I'm sorry if that sounds weird or even creepy, but that's how I feel at the moment. Just know that you got my support, and please feel free to add me to your MFP friends thingie!
  • bellyto5k
    bellyto5k Posts: 26
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    I LOVE that you love this baby you have not even created yet to be taking this journey and getting healthy first.... already you are a great momma!! :)
  • Daisy_May
    Daisy_May Posts: 505 Member
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    I’m also trying to lose weight to get pregnant, I've only been trying a short while and have never been told it's going to be an issue but I figure I need to do everything I can to help myself get pregnant before I go to a doctor, mainly being as healthy as I can be.

    I had a funny thought a few weeks ago, my fiancé’s ex smoked while she was expecting my stepson, it makes me sick to think that she couldn't give that up for the poor child stuck inside her having no choice but to suck in all those toxins.
    I realized that if I can't give up the junk and the bad food to have a healthy pregnancy I'm really no better then her, it really put things in a different perspective for me.
  • sandyfeet10
    sandyfeet10 Posts: 280 Member
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    I LOVE that you love this baby you have not even created yet to be taking this journey and getting healthy first.... already you are a great momma!! :)

    you made me cry!!! that means a lot.
  • stephaniezoundi
    stephaniezoundi Posts: 1,148 Member
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    Wow, just stumbled across this post and completely understand how you feel. I spent years on the pill trying to not get pregnant. For the last year my DH and I have been trying to conceive with no luck at all. It is one of the things that motivates me to keep at the weight loss. My biggest fear is not being able to conceive a child. Hormone tests revealed some imbalances and the doctors told me to keep up the weight loss. While its not impossible to conceive when at my weight, it will be easier and safer if I can lose more weight.
  • miriamtorason
    miriamtorason Posts: 208 Member
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    For what it is worth:

    I conceived my son at 5'6" 233#. I had an exceptionally healthy pregnancy (even LOST 40# while pregnant - not trying to!), and have a wonderfully healthy son.

    I am now aiming to be a maximum of 180 before we add to our family. I learned the hard way that doctors view a pregnant fat woman as the lowest of the low, dumber than a box of rocks, and an accident looking for a place to happen. Despite being a perfectly healthy woman, I had one of the most horrifying births (that ended with a baby to take home) I can imagine. Because I was overweight. Nothing wrong with me but some extra pounds, and I was treated like an ugly incubator - any decisions I made were run by my husband and my MIL first, because I was *obviously* incompetent.

    Don't be afraid to be pregnant before you make your goal, but I truly believe it would be 100% worth it to be closer to "normal" weight before TTC. It can only help.
  • poesch77
    poesch77 Posts: 1,005 Member
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    No proble getting pregnant with 1st daughter...gained almost 40lbs too.....waited and tried for baby #2 for a whole year eventho I was still 240-230 range.....dieted and could'nt lose weight. Went to the doctor and had thyroid checked...normal, hormone levels.....cortisol was elevated...the stress hormone that causes bellyfat (me? stressed? really?) So I went to a specialist who did more tests and could'nt figure out why it was only elevated certain times of the day and basically told me you won't lose weight or get pregnant until we find out why your levels are high....see ya in 6 months. That ticked me off so I went to the Natura Ffood store and got this pill called Cortisol Lowering pill (ya, pretty generic name) and started taking a prenatal....in less than 2 months I lost 24lbs and was pregnant.....so this lil pill worked. Now to lose the 40lbs I gained with baby #2!!! Have your hormones checked but it is good to get down 1st on weight cuz it is killer on your back when you are large and preggars!! Good luck on your journey!

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