Not quite "haters" but definitely CLUELESS...

curliefrii

So, I'm fairly new to MFP, and it's been a great experience so far... it's changing the way I look at and consume food... that said... as much I love this board and am unafraid to talk about losing weight here... I don't really want to talk about it in "real life" when I'm out with friends...

Case and point: Sunday nights, I have some new friends that like to go out and get a beer after church... (haha I know... it blows some people's minds), but it's late, I'm not going to eat a bunch of sodium-infused food and drink... and I definitely can't drink anything w/o a full meal... so I ordered a sparkling water thing w/ zero calories and MAN people thought I was a freak! They were like-- what? Why are you drinking that? I just answered their questions as vaguely as possible. In my head, I was like DROP IT!

I'm not saying I'll never drink again or anything, but right now, I'd rather use my calories in other areas... but I still want to be "out and about" just w/o the empty calories...


Anyone had any similar experiences? These people aren't HATERS persay, but they definitely are CLUELESS.

So my new catch phrase is "the clueless will question."

hroush

I haven't really had an experience as yours, it helps that I do drink alcohol, but I gave up pop for the same reason. Reading it reminded me of a Simpsons episode where Homer goes to Moes and finds two friends staring at the floor waiting for the sun to reach a mark because they can't drink before 2:00 on Sunday.

I love your new catch phrase, may have to use that myself.

pauljsolie

I would change who I consider "my friends". People are treating me so differently now that I am losing weight. People that wouldn't give me the time of day now want to hang out. Sorry, you're too shallow for my tastes. I have a couple real friends that have supported me for years. I don't need to be around fake people.

snkeller24

If they're friends then they should understand and applaud your journey of becoming healthy. I'm 23 and no longer drink - my friends got up my @ss about it in the begining but after awhile they accepted it and found something else to occupy their time.

It's your body - your only one - and to be successful you need to make good decisions.

Good luck with your weight loss! Keep your head up, there is no reason to be ashamed of becoming healthy! You may inspire others to follow your path.

MakingAChoice

I just went with the 'I don't drink anymore, sorry' line when I was confronted with drinks being bought for me by friends/family. Does that mean I will never drink again, no. I am just not going to touch the stuff until I am at my goal weight/body fat. After that I can practice moderation as I never drank except once in a blue moon anyway. I just do not currently want to sabotage or slow my progress to drink and be social.

Since I have lost enough to be really noticeable they seem to understand. I am not sure how well it will work if you are just starting your journey. Worth a shot though.

tatiana_13

Well...I think its as much surprise as clueless-ness Its just not what they expect...especially if you've gone out with them a few times and you didn't have the 0 calorie drink. We human beings think we are so complicated, but, in some ways, we are pretty simple animals. We think bar=beer. Stadium=hot dog. Movies=popcorn. When you don't do these things, they're like, what??!! You mean you want to just have fun without eating crap with us?

The good news, however, is that, if you keep to your changes, their expectations of you will change. And the "new" you, will become the you they are use to...the one they come to expect. They will stop being surprised that you don't get snacks at the movies. It will just be "you" doing your thing. So, they will still be a bit clueless, but they'll leave you alone!

And I hear you about not wanting to do "diet talk" in the real world. Outside of religion and politics, diet/food is one of the most divisive things you can talk about....everyone has an opinion about what you should weigh/eat/drink. So, I never do. I just say, "no thank you." "I'm not hungry." "Not really in the mood for beer right now." All true statements, but that don't invite conversation. I'm with you on that one!

anewattitude

If you enjoy hanging out with this group of people then its best to just be open with them if they question why you are not drinking or eating what you normally would have. It may not be their business but maybe they will start to be more supportive when they realize you are serious about making healthier choices. In fact, you may even inspire some of them to be healthier! I'm saying this because I used to be " that person" who would ask a friend why all of a sudden she's on the health kick! Over time, watching her eat healthy while I ordered greasy crap on our breaks at work made me feel like a slob and I started to bring healthier foods to work instead!

If you tell them straight up you want to eat healthier and they still make comments you don't like or try to sabbotage your goals then you need to decide if your church buddies are worth you sacrificing whats important to YOU!

At least the good news is you are on the right site for support! Most of the people here are awesome!

Good luck!

Sumo813

My buddies all know I'm working hard, but they also know that I have a hard time sayin no when I'm out. So I just try to get in as much of a burn as I can in preparation. lol

Otherwise, I just tell people straight up that I'm trying to be a little more mindful about my caloric intake, and usually they understand. I think people are a little more understanding than we might give em credit for sometimes.

wonnder1

I understand the whole not telling anyone thing. But you realize they'll notice eventually right?

Let them question it if they will. Just say you don't feel like it. If they keep on and on, I usually say something along the lines of "are you seriously trying to peer pressure me? at my age?" It usually gets a laugh, people realize it's none of their business and then we carry on.

Also the fact that this was the first time you didn't have a drink with them? Well, heck, I would have said something too. They'll get used to it eventually if you keep it up.

BethanyMasters

Somebody is always going judge you for one reason or another.

I'm starting to learn that not everybody is going to be proud of me for my weight loss accomplishments. Not everybody is going to understand why I bring a yogurt and fruit to work instead of eating free pizza off the morning buffet.

Some people may even be down right mean and / or defensive about it.

As long as you are not pushing your views on people that don't want to hear it then you are not doing anything wrong. Keep up the good work and don't let anybody bring you down.

curliefrii

we are pretty simple animals. We think bar=beer. Stadium=hot dog. Movies=popcorn. When you don't do these things, they're like, what??!! You mean you want to just have fun without eating crap with us?

@tatiana_13, that made my night. It's like eating crap = fun, to a lot of people... :-D Anything else just makes NO sense....

@Everyone, thanks for the encouragement. This place really is awesome.

gnat45

To a lot of people, eating crap or drinking is fun. I can be like that myself, and I have felt peer pressure to eat and drink.