hubby says he's tired of hearing about it

mom23nuts
mom23nuts Posts: 636 Member
edited September 28 in Motivation and Support
Ok so weightloss is a big focus of mine and I do talk about it a lot. Mostly because I have been stuck at a 2 month pateau and am baffled by it.

I don't want it to be all consuming or so much of a focus that that is all my husband and kids hear me talk about.

I try to not talk about it at all in front of the kids because they don't need to develop a body complex at 8ys old, 6 yrs old and 19 months.

I do talk about making healthy choices and having treats only on sometimes occasions and not everyday.

But I guess I must talk about it more than my husband wants to hear.

Yesterday he said......"I'm tired of talking about your weight" and normally he listens and is very supportive. Maybe I should just learn to chill out and just spill my guts to you guys.

I can imagine it can get to be overwhelming as a guy and a fixer type personality that this is one thing he can't fix and he is tired of hearing about.

I joked with him and told him I need him to be supportive in my quest to be a bikini model and we both had a good laugh at that and went on with the day.

I guess my point is that I will be pposting more here and leaving my poor hubby alone!

Thanks for letting me unload that all!

Replies

  • CARNAT22
    CARNAT22 Posts: 764 Member
    It is very hard for someone to support you 100% and always be on hand to listen, discuss, be your confident - especially if they do not share the same common goal.

    That is what MFP is for...

    I talk to my OH about losing weight a lot, because I need some support and I am proud of my loss so far BUT I do draw the line. My OH is naturally slim and has never had to worry about calories / portion control in his life. It is a different world to him LOL! So he listens, he tells me how good I look and how proud he is of me - he has bene fab - but he just doesn't "get it" like people here do!
  • LikeNoOneElse84
    LikeNoOneElse84 Posts: 475 Member
    I'm always here to listen!
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    I have learned over time that people don't want to hear it if they are not doing it. I try not to talk about it unless they ask. I am doing this for me and no one else.
  • cessnaholly
    cessnaholly Posts: 780 Member
    Maybe he was just having a bad day or something. You can always talk to us about things - we understand. And your husband probably does too.

    My 5 year old sees me use this site and do my exercise and now she's eating healthy options more than not (although she does still have a whole bag of Easter candy left).

    :)
  • jeff261159
    jeff261159 Posts: 385
    great posting, it sounds like he may be suffering from WDO syndrome 'wifes diet overload'.

    You need support, he needs some different form of stimulation through discussion! You can come on here and blab on to your hearts content leaving your hubby in peace, to soon be asking you, why dont we ever talk!!!

    Life is so complicated LOL

    good luck with your goals, MFP is 24 hour support
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    i have to say i don't really talk to my husband about this at all...which is great because he keeps throwing out compliments which pleasantly surprise me :) try keeping quiet and he'll probably start asking you about it :)
  • Hernandezedw
    Hernandezedw Posts: 284
    I'm kind of the same as your husband. I hear about a problem and offer unwanted solutions. It's just the way I am. I feel if you're going to offer up a problem, it's because you want a solution. Seems women don't want that. And that's where my confusion begins.
  • quichebradford
    quichebradford Posts: 327 Member
    It's so funny to read this post because just last night (after I finished my 60 minutes of cardio adn was so proud I wanted to climb a mountain and shout it to the world) I kinda got the feeling that my husband is getting tired of hearing about my weight loss too! It's just that I'm so excited to FINALLY be making progress after so many failed attempts. It's just so hard to contain it! Keep up the good work...I'll be looking forward to future "ranting"! LOL
  • PandaFit450
    PandaFit450 Posts: 619 Member
    Let us listen, cos we do all understand!
    I would be lost without the support I get on here.
    Add me as a friend if you wish
    Jules x
  • honeybee739
    honeybee739 Posts: 66 Member
    We want solutuions....just not usually the solutions you give us....LOL!!!
  • OLP76
    OLP76 Posts: 768 Member
    My Husband has been 100% behind me especially in my plateaus areas startin' at 157-160, 147-150, 137-140, 127-130...

    I didn't stay to long in a plateau - sure I whined and complained but I didn't dwell on it - I did somethin' about it...! I changed up my diet, up my workouts.

    My Husband now can't believe I drop 162 lbs to 120 lbs in 5 months & 10 Days...42 lbs gone!

    Your Husband may be havin' a bad day or he may be tellin' you nicely - stop complainin' and do somethin' about it. He may feel he doesn't know what to do in these situations but listen.

    Best wishes on gettin' out of you plateau :wink:
  • roxiedo
    roxiedo Posts: 154
    That is what we are here for - to listen and support!:flowerforyou:
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    Ok so weightloss is a big focus of mine and I do talk about it a lot. Mostly because I have been stuck at a 2 month pateau and am baffled by it. <snip> But I guess I must talk about it more than my husband wants to hear. <snip> Yesterday he said......"I'm tired of talking about your weight"
    Suggest that if he's fed up with hearing about it, he pays for you to visit a nutritionalist so you can show them your food diary and discuss it with them instead.

    He gets to stop hearing you go on about your plateau, you might get the information you need to break it.

    Win / Win! :bigsmile:
  • mom23nuts
    mom23nuts Posts: 636 Member
    thanks all

    yes my hubby is a big fixer and is very supportive but sometimes women just want to vent not need a fix but that's why men and women are different.

    I must say he is 6"1 and 135 and we are like the nursery rhyme Jack Sprat could eat not fat, his wife could eat no lean betwixt the two of them they kept thier platters clean.

    I am slowly changing that and thank for letting me vent here. you are right maybe less is more when it comes to talking about it with hubby all the time.

    He needs a break from it too.

    A nutritionalist is a good idea and one that is in my plan next month if I still am stuck with no real results. I am tapped out on reading health and diet books that's for sure.
  • kris3800
    kris3800 Posts: 18
    Yes - I would stop talking to your husband about it. Talk to us all you want...that is why this site is great. I decided not to talk to my guy about my weight loss and work outs.....I want to catch his eye one day....by having him look at me and say to himself she looks so good!!! LOL he thinks I look good now and when I say anything about how I need to lose weight or exercise more he says how can you improve something that is already great? He is a sweetie.... So this is for me to look good for me too feel good for me - and of course also for that look that he will have when one day out of the blue he will think to himself, man she really does look great and so sexy! I hope this helps. You can do it! But do it for you, to feel good, to feel healthy and sexy and then let the others notice someday when you least expect it and wonder how you did it.. Good Luck!!
  • Yeah my boyfriend really is as supportive as he can be but even I feel like I talk a little too much about it around him! And I know the reason that your husband said that is the same the reason my boyfriend tunes out every time I bring it up - he thinks you're beautiful no matter what the numbers on the scale say. He doesn't see the need that women have for that knockout body and healthy weight. He tunes out because he doesn't understand it. Vent to us and then when you show up in a bikini at the pool - he'll be sure to acknowledge it.
  • murf19
    murf19 Posts: 453 Member
    i have to say i don't really talk to my husband about this at all...which is great because he keeps throwing out compliments which pleasantly surprise me :) try keeping quiet and he'll probably start asking you about it :)

    I agree. Post here and let him start throwing the complements your way! next thing you know he'll want to talk about what your doing.
  • kristidem
    kristidem Posts: 160 Member
    I think sharing a life together means sharing lots, including making heathy choices. If he's a "fixer" type - suggest to him he help plan meals and/or cook; let me in on the program. I agree with some others that it's OK to discuss healthy food choices and exercise in front of the kids... you want them to develop healthy habits too! My eight year old often wonders how many calories he's eating, and I tell him he's eating good foods and needs a lot since he's a growing boy. And we share the occasional treat too, because it's OK to have candy or cookie or pie now and again. Even talking about and living the healthy lifestyle with my husband, he does notice my progress, my changing body style (I actually have a curve in above my hips now)! He says it's almost like having an affair, I'm so different. Keep it up! And you always have us here to lean on!
  • jam3114
    jam3114 Posts: 250 Member
    great posting, it sounds like he may be suffering from WDO syndrome 'wifes diet overload'.


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I think my hubbie is suffering too

    Its nice to be able to vent here when you know most of us have or are going through the same thing
  • giammarcor
    giammarcor Posts: 217 Member
    It's funny because I think it's natural for all of us to want to ballyhoo about the significance of our journey and to celebrate our victories. I know that I've become uber focused on my weight loss journey and think that I'm driving my SO crazy. But, she's a trooper and smiles and says good job, when I know she's really thinking, "ugh, I wish he'd shut up about this".

    Oh well, like everyone else said, all of us on MFP are this together and love to hear about your success and struggles, so we're happy to listen.
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
    oh ohhhh I better learn from you. My hubby will be home in July. I already chat him to death about it via email. I can't imagine how I will be when he is home. I guess one thing that is going for me is that he is into exercise being in the military. Maybe it won't be so bad...maybe lol
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    If it was me, I'd negotiate a 5-minute daily update: I get to summarise what was good and bad about today in a short space of time, make it clear that I'm not looking for anything other than a hug at the end of it, and then a promise that we do something comepletely different - go for a walk, play a game, watch some telly, discuss the news, something else we can enjoy together.
  • Tarilynn
    Tarilynn Posts: 22 Member
    Thanks for posting about your hubby. My husband is always saying to me that it's the basic calories in and calories out and says it's fine that this is consuming my routine right now, but soon it'll have to change. Ugh!! I guess we expect our husbands to react the way our girlfriends would or mfps would. My husband just has to cut our his cool ranch doritos and jog every other day (for about 1 month) and all of a sudden he has this defined 6 pack . He knows I'm proud of myself but doesn't undersand how hard it is for me to lose my lower baby belly. That's my goal and a little jogging isn't going to clear that up. That's when my mfp fiends step in and give the encouragement I NEED. Although, I must say that my husband does notice the difference, in my energy, in the bedroom, and that makes him VERY happy and verbally supportive. By the way, my boys 8,6 and 2 love watching me do my 30 Day Shred. They know that mommy wants to be healthy and exercise is a big part of a healthy heart, so when they see mommy putting on her running shoes they're right there to grab my weights, fill my water bottle, and press play on the dvd. Good luck on your venture and know that we're all here for you on mfp to keep you going. Hey, and who's to say that you're not going to be a bikini mom. No one knows what the future holds. Best wishes.
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