How to say no without being rude...?

kathyjo

So I just started a new job on Tuesday and this week it was only my boss and I in the office getting ready for rehearsals to start next week (I work at a theatre). I went on a quick errand for her, and when I got back, she told me that her girlfriend was going to be bringing ice cream for us. About 20 minutes later, her girlfriend showed up with a bag of 3 of those Nestle Drumsticks - almost 400 calories each!! We were standing outside so they were starting to melt, and obviously she had purchased one for each of us, so I didn't feel like I could say no! I only eat like 1400 calories a day, so 400 was a huge percentage of what I could eat today. In fact, it's only 3:15pm, and now I only have 200 calories left for the rest of the day! I am mad at myself for eating the ice cream, but I didn't feel like I could say no without being rude. Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? What did you do?

kathyjo

So I just started a new job on Tuesday and this week it was only my boss and I in the office getting ready for rehearsals to start next week (I work at a theatre). I went on a quick errand for her, and when I got back, she told me that her girlfriend was going to be bringing ice cream for us. About 20 minutes later, her girlfriend showed up with a bag of 3 of those Nestle Drumsticks - almost 400 calories each!! We were standing outside so they were starting to melt, and obviously she had purchased one for each of us, so I didn't feel like I could say no! I only eat like 1400 calories a day, so 400 was a huge percentage of what I could eat today. In fact, it's only 3:15pm, and now I only have 200 calories left for the rest of the day! I am mad at myself for eating the ice cream, but I didn't feel like I could say no without being rude. Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? What did you do?

Juliebean

Just eat a little bit of it and then throw the rest away. And then exercise your butt off once you get home! You need to eat more than 200 cals tonight for dinner...

suzitto

Welcome to my world, I go through the same scenario every single day.

Phoenix_Rising

I'd have eaten it but shared with them that I completely appreciate the kind gesture, but I'm undergoing a body transformation that doesn't allow for treats except on rare occasion.

ohthatbambi

You could always just say you are lactose intolerant or just say you are trying to lose a few pounds and you didn't factor ice cream into your calorie allotment.

kathyjo

I already ate it....it was this afternoon. But thank you for the great ideas for the future! I just felt awkward saying no to a melting ice cream cone that someone had obviously gone out of their way to go purchase and then bring to my boss and I at the theatre!

Anyway...I'm going to have to do some major exercising this afternoon so that I can eat a light dinner tonight. Ugh.

raincloud

I would've eaten half of it if I was too afraid to say no.

Maybe that'll be ok if there is a next time?

Phoenix_Rising

Just be sure to bring up your "diet" (lifestyle change!!!!) soon, before she is nice with food again!

AJCM

Don't sweat it, you've eaten it now. Can you go for an extra walk tonight, or do some crunches?
:flowerforyou:

When I was in my serious weight loss phase on this plan, I just flat out said no. People would persist, and I would just say, "I absolutely can't, but thanks so much for the offer / gesture / etc". I actually got into the habit of going out and not having a cocktail or glass of wine, and just drinking water with lemon. It's the social experience, not necessarily the food / drink. I think I feared missing out on the "good tim" - but it's the people, not the food!
:flowerforyou:

MFS27

I used the "allergic to milk" excuse one time to get out of a pizza party thing...then it came back and bit me in the butt, so I would probably not go that route again.

I would have take a few bites - either said I was full, or that I'm not much of a sweets person.

If I say I'm on a diet, or that I'm trying to eat healthy, 1) the other people might feel a bit guilty because obviously they are still scarfing whatever unhealthy food I've just shunned, and 2) from that point on, I will hear, "Oh she's on a diet", or "are you STILL on a diet?" etc.

Hopefully there is not a next time, lol!

arewethereyet

I actually told someone I was diebetic! I started my new position and this nice lady kept making homemade brownies. i didnt want her to feel I was rude, or her brownies were bad.

You can say you have a medical issue. new job...no one knows you!!:flowerforyou:

GoGetterMom

Be honest with them.... Let them know you have made some healthy changes and why. Most people genuinely are caring and love to help others. Let them get on your team and maybe next time, just splurge on half....

For today, extra cardio and something good for you for dinner.... Have an awesome weekend!

PrincessLaundry

Maybe next time have a bite and excuse yourself to the ladies room and toss it out! LOL Once you get to know these ladies, you can tell them your plan. Or even tomorrow bring a super healthy something and share it saying, "Oh this? Yes, I have been trying to eat healthier and I am really good about staying on track!"

Good luck with that girlie! You can do it!

Anna_Banana

Okay this is OT, but Katiejo what are you eating in the picture. I just have to know

kathyjo

If I say I'm on a diet, or that I'm trying to eat healthy, 1) the other people might feel a bit guilty because obviously they are still scarfing whatever unhealthy food I've just shunned, and 2) from that point on, I will hear, "Oh she's on a diet", or "are you STILL on a diet?" etc.

I feel like that too! I don't want other people to feel guilty for eating unhealthy foods just because I am trying to become healthier.

Maybe next time have a bite and excuse yourself to the ladies room and toss it out! LOL Once you get to know these ladies, you can tell them your plan. Or even tomorrow bring a super healthy something and share it saying, "Oh this? Yes, I have been trying to eat healthier and I am really good about staying on track!"

Good luck with that girlie! You can do it!

That is a really good idea, PrincessLaundry!!! I think this would bring the subject up way more comfortably...especially since I don't know them that well and I just started the job this week!

kathyjo

Okay this is OT, but Katiejo what are you eating in the picture. I just have to know

Hahaha! It was a huge pan of Peach Cobbler that a couple girls made this summer for a party! I totally went off my healthy lifestyle this summer (and gained 15 pounds back, which is why I'm back here!), so I did indulge in it, and it was very yummy! That picture, however, is just me being silly (and perhaps having had a few drinks) and pretending like I am eating a whole spatula of it

punka274

I would of been honest...apologized,made some kind of funny remark and told them that I was on a diet and thanked them for thinking of me!

kerrilucko

Honestly, in that exact situation I would have eaten it. I wouldn't let someone ele's money go to waste. But while eating together I would share with them that I'm trying to lose weight. something like "I havn't had ice cream in forever, so this is a nice treat. I'm trying to lose weight but everyone deserves something special once in awhile" it'll give them the hint while still showing your appreciation at the gesture. Most people I've told have been vary supportive, and I try to tell everyone whose homes we frequent so they aren't offended when I turn down an alcoholic drink or party mix. Even my fiance's work friends all know and everytime I see them they are amazed at my progress. SOmetimes it's hard to turn things down, other times you;re right, it's RUDE> so make sure that after this one time, they know what your situation is. They will be supportive, I promise! :flowerforyou:

arewethereyet

Kat good thing you posted this when you did. I had a mtg yesterday. Said no once, said no twice and was ready to yell ' WHAT PART OF NO DONT YOU UNDERSTAND!"

But instead I said I was having a test and really cant eat right now.
( a large white bagel with 4 pounds of cream cheese and a large latte)

but thanks for thinking of me, and I gave her the cash and suggested another person in the office that was hungry.

as i walked away a coworker said-havent you noticed she has lost like 20 pounds?

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

PrincessLaundry

Okay this is OT, but Katiejo what are you eating in the picture. I just have to know

Hahaha! It was a huge pan of Peach Cobbler that a couple girls made this summer for a party! I totally went off my healthy lifestyle this summer (and gained 15 pounds back, which is why I'm back here!), so I did indulge in it, and it was very yummy! That picture, however, is just me being silly (and perhaps having had a few drinks) and pretending like I am eating a whole spatula of it

That is very funny... LOL

greenbean

I have crossed this path many times. I simply say thank you for thinking of me, but I am trying to eat healthier. If that doesn't work and you get the come on one ice cream won't hurt etc.....my response is thanks I'm not hungry right now, I'll save it for latter when I need a treat.

FitJoani

You could always just say you are lactose intolerant or just say you are trying to lose a few pounds and you didn't factor ice cream into your calorie allotment.

Just as I was thinking and when she says "but you have eaten it before" go and yes I know this but it alwasy irritated my digestional tract(the nice way of saying it cleans me out) so I had an allergy test done....

psyknife

Just tell them about the goals you are trying to achieve... they shouldn't get mad about that, and if they do it's not your fault.

But, I mean... the first time accept it and say thank you, but then make them aware of what you are doing at that point.
My whole office knew about what I was doing, so they never tried to pawn cookies on me at office lunches, and what not.

Lhernandez705

I usually say I can't stomach it ... which is partially true if I overindulge in fried foods or dairy... but it helps if you make a habit. They tend to stop throwing treats in your face. For me, they make a big deal when I actually DO eat a piece of birthday cake, because most of the time I say no thank you ;0) !