White-lie praises...

withchaco

How do you feel when people lie to you in the form of a praise, to make you feel better? Like, when you KNOW they don't mean what they say. But you also know they mean well.


Personally, this kind of stuff makes me very uncomfortable! If I'm not doing something as well as I should be doing, I'd rather be told (in a friendly, encouraging manner!) what I can do to improve. Also, in many cases, when people do this, they expect YOU to do the same for them, and I reeeeeeaaaaaaaaally just... I just can't do it unless it's something I don't care about.

EDIT: I actually don't mean MFP! I don't see this being a huge problem with fitness related conversations... I see it in many other parts of life, however. Your mileage may vary, of course.

barbiex3

OMG! yes!!! I totally know what you are talking about. I'm a SUPER blunt person, and sometimes I just want to tell it like it is to people on here, but I don't. I also feel like a lot of people on here are WAY fake. It's kinda annoying, but I like the attention SOMETIMES!

hummzz

I guess I just eliminate those types of folks from me. I know sometimes in the work place or out and about you have to deal with folks, but basically I really don't hang with a lot of folks cuz I don't like a lot of folks (In person that is)

Now I have some online friends that ROCK! And met a lot on here. I had a large friends list at one time, but I've cut those out that I don't deem fit. I know I sound uppity and I'm really not, but I just don't have time or patience for crap. LOL...So I choose not to deal with it.

So you can apply this to your offline life as well. People will respect your boundaries and you won't have to deal with them anymore. LOL

Good luck!

NeuroticVirgo

I kind of felt like that when I first started. A lot of the "WTG" "GREAT!" "GOOD JOB" phrases people posted for every little thing I did (10 minute walk etc)....felt fake...and made me uncomfortable. It was like "hmm...do the really care? or are they just copy and pasting this on everyone's status?" But in the long run I'm happy for it. Even if they only meant it for like 1 second of their day, it helped change my over all perspective during the process. I felt 100 times more optimistic than when I first started this.

So maybe its just me, but I kind of appreciate it.

kleavitt1992

i dont say it if i dont mean it even if i just say wtg! im proud that ppl are dong SOMETHING even if its just a 10min walk its better than 10mins sitting on the couch eating ho hos im proud of them

withchaco

i dont say it if i dont mean it even if i just say wtg! im proud that ppl are dong SOMETHING even if its just a 10min walk its better than 10mins sitting on the couch eating ho hos im proud of them

Same here. I think progress is awesome. I mean every praise I give on this site.

withchaco

I kind of felt like that when I first started. A lot of the "WTG" "GREAT!" "GOOD JOB" phrases people posted for every little thing I did (10 minute walk etc)....felt fake...and made me uncomfortable. It was like "hmm...do the really care? or are they just copy and pasting this on everyone's status?" But in the long run I'm happy for it. Even if they only meant it for like 1 second of their day, it helped change my over all perspective during the process. I felt 100 times more optimistic than when I first started this.

So maybe its just me, but I kind of appreciate it.

Haha, sorry, I was unclear in my original post... I didn't mean MFP, I was talking about just life in general.

SabrinaJL

I have a friend who comments on how good I'm looking every time she sees me. She always says that she she can tell I'm losing more weight. Half the time I don't believe her (because I think I look exactly the same), but I appreciate that she cares enough to want to encourage me.

withchaco

I have a friend who comments on how good I'm looking every time she sees me. She always says that she she can tell I'm losing more weight. Half the time I don't believe her (because I think I look exactly the same), but I appreciate that she cares enough to want to encourage me.

Yeah, I always appreciate the thought behind the act (unless they're doing it JUST SO they can get me to praise them in return...). Different people have different ways of encouraging others; some are just more compatible with me than others!

kleavitt1992

my brothers fiance who is heavier than me, (didnt used to be tho) everytime she sees me goes OHHH YOUR SOOOO SKINNNYYY!! in the most sarcastic way in the world (they live above our garage) the phrase used to be OHH YOUR GOING TO BE..... but the way she says it i want to slap her in the face (i know thats not what you meant by them saying it cause they prob. say it in a nice way it just bugs the crap out of me lol)

mental_release

First, I think most people on MFP are honest. They may say "WTG" but it's usually because they can see you're struggling or having a hard time in some way and want to remind you, every little bit counts.

In general, I take the person into consideration. I work in a technical field and I run across a lot of fake "Wow"s, "Great Job", etc when all I did was press a stupid button...something a monkey can be trained to do (wait, I *was* trained. ARGH! Now I want a banana.)

--MR