I am so bad at this..

xoalyssaox

OK so I did good for 4 days, then totally didn't follow it for a week. I ate anything and everything again.. A few of you told me that I have a negative attitude about this and probably will fail with that attitude and I KNOW you are right, but I am not sure how to fix it...

How do I have a positive attitude about losing weight? I tend to focus on how "fat" I think I am, and I know that really affects me..

Any advice is appreciated...

Love,
Alyssa

xoalyssaox

OK so I did good for 4 days, then totally didn't follow it for a week. I ate anything and everything again.. A few of you told me that I have a negative attitude about this and probably will fail with that attitude and I KNOW you are right, but I am not sure how to fix it...

How do I have a positive attitude about losing weight? I tend to focus on how "fat" I think I am, and I know that really affects me..

Any advice is appreciated...

Love,
Alyssa

HollyAnnH

Change your line of thinking to JUST BEING HEALTHY! Sorry for screaming at you so early in the morning...but this is what I do to myself daily. I am fat (5'3" and 195 lbs) and I get down on myself and I struggle to eat right and exercise EVERY DAY! But I remind myself that I am making healthy choices and someday....I will look as good as I am feeling lately. I keep eating the right things and exercising every day and someday...oh YES someday....I am going to reward myself with a really BANGIN' outfit that I look good in and makes my guy drool. :laugh: But for now my reward is that I am on a journey to good health!

Good things take time and effort and I am totally worth the wait! So are you! :bigsmile:

Don't give up the GOOD FIGHT! :flowerforyou:

Fab140

:flowerforyou:

The most important thing is that you're still trying! That really is the hardest part!

Now, you're asking how to be positive. Don't look at it as a chore. Look at it as your life. You aren't fat, but you want to make a change. When you focus on the negative, your thinking will be negative and then so will your outcome.

What I am learning to do is treat my body with the same love and devotion that I treat my husband with. Once you learn to love yourself and love your body, then you will start giving it the right fuel to be healthy.

I imagine that you are in the same place as many are. You don't feel worthy of anything because you are, as you say, fat. You don't think you'll be worth any one person's trouble unless you're skinny. That thinking is poison. You are feeding yourself rat poison with those words and those thoughts.

Nothing will right itself overnight, it takes time. But you have to work at it. Everytime you start thinking how hopeless it all is, you have to STOP and remember the good reasons you're doing this. Not to be skinny, but to be healthy. Not so someone will love you, but so you feel better about yourself. Use a journal to write down your thoughts, good and bad, and when you have them. On the first page of your journal, write a list of your attributes. I'll help:

You have gorgeous eyes.

I wish to hell my hair would be that color and that straight! gorgeous!

You are intellegent, I can tell just from the way you write.

:flowerforyou: Once you change your thinking and your reasons and the way you speak to yourself, then your body will respond and you will stop using food as a tool to feel better and start using it to fuel your life.


Meg

Marla64

Alyssa,

Personally, I had to loathe what I became-- the weak person who allowed herself to look and feel the way I became. I was shamed into losing when I saw a woman on The Today Show who'd lost 150 pounds. If she can take off 150, I can take off 50. I got tired of excusing away why I was how I was.

That's what worked for me. I still have 33 til goal, but gave myself until my 45th birthday next June to reach it so I can allow for bumps and hiccups along the way.

You can do this!!

heartshapdworld

What do you really like about yourself? Flaunt that. It won't fix all those times you feel terrible about how you look, but it certainly helps.

And you are still here-that is positive-give yourself some credit! Changing one's behavoir takes time and a lot of hard work.

Fab140

O, and the sooner you start thinking healthy instead of "fat talk", the sooner you can prevent the 11 pounds I gained when I was trying to bully myself.

:flowerforyou:

may_marie

hi there

i used to be like you and i would be convience that i was fat and that was it and didnt believe i could change it,,,, why even try then if ill fail.....

at the time i was in a job i hated,, i did that work for a whole year, i didnt have a choice, i needed the money and because it was a contract, i knew it wouldnt be more then 1 year before i wouldnt have to go anymore... so every day i went,, day after day...

i applyed the same principal to what i do,,, i dont have a choice to take care of myself,, even though sometimes i hate not being able to eat the the cake or cheese i want.. i do it day after day, go to the gym, day after day.. just like if this was work and i had to go for the money .. except now my boss is the mesuring tape,, and the scale.

this is like work,,, do it like you just dont have a choice,, gots to work..
may

Fab140

hi there

i used to be like you and i would be convience that i was fat and that was it and didnt believe i could change it,,,, why even try then if ill fail.....

at the time i was in a job i hated,, i did that work for a whole year, i didnt have a choice, i needed the money and because it was a contract, i knew it wouldnt be more then 1 year before i wouldnt have to go anymore... so every day i went,, day after day...

i applyed the same principal to what i do,,, i dont have a choice to take care of myself,, even though sometimes i hate not being able to eat the the cake or cheese i want.. i do it day after day, go to the gym, day after day.. just like if this was work and i had to go for the money .. except now my boss is the mesuring tape,, and the scale.

this is like work,,, do it like you just dont have a choice,, gots to work..
may

May, you're awesome.....and we must have the same job

:flowerforyou: Congrats on your weight loss!

dantell13

Alyssa,
I love food, really love the taste and it is sooooo hard to have lost the wieght and to keep going. But you just have to take one day at a time. If you screw up on a meal, forget about it and try not to do it again that day. One of the things I try to do is take a long walk if I dont eat well that day. This way it burns up the extra calories that I ate. And then wake up the next day and start again. Losing the weight that I want to lose takes a long time, so I just work on one day and one meal at a time. I miss the great taste and my great wine collection (too much carbs in wine) but I also know that when I get to my goal I can start have a glass or two per week. Maybe pasta once a month. But again one day, breath in then breath out. Good Luck and I hope this helps a little.
David

giggles724

I'm totally with you on this one!
Not too long ago I was just like you. For years I would just think as myself as FAT.......My husband would compliment me all the time....saying things like "your beautiful"....."baby you know your really sexy" etc.etc.etc. I would get sooooooooooooo freakin mad and him! I would respond to him really hateful cause all I saw was FAT, FAT and MORE FAT!! I would say things like "you know I'm not beautiful or sexy...you're just trying to be nice!!!
I hated how I looked......I wished I looked diffrently.....But as many people have said I wanted the easy way out. I wanted the "fat" to just melt off overnight.
This is all a "mental game" that you play with yourself without even knowing it. I knew I had to change my way of thinking cause if I couldn't even accept and love myself, how in the world was I gonna expect my husband to love me?
You start my looking at food diffrently. Don't deprive yourself........How I started was by following my calorie intake by the book Mon-Sat. and wouldn't eat my "extra" calories from exercise so I could have whatever I wanted on Sundays. I don't over do it though. If I wanted pizza I would eat pizza BUT not have coldstone for dessert. Once you get this going and make it part of your daily routine, it just gets easier and easier.
I still have 30+ pounds to go but I can honestly tell you since losing those 25 lbs, I feel much better. Physically and metality!! I'm still heavy but I feel better about how I look!

Focus on all your good qualities girl and soon your inner beauty will be reflecting on the outside!! :flowerforyou:
~giggles~

PrincessLaundry

First off...

What's your problem? <~~~~ LOL I mean "What IS" your problem?

Mine was that I starved myself M-F, went to eat and ate too much on the weekends when my family was home. Also, lack of activity.

So figure out what is going on with you. What is causing you to stay off track? What are YOU doing to sabatoge yourself? (Dr. Phil says that!) Anyway, so....Whatcha think?

Are you setting goals too high? I know I did. I started off thinking that I was going to lose 40 pounds! Now I realize that I was setting my goals too vauge, and there is more to it than just 40 pounds shed. I needed to set a goal to drinnk more water, walk 1/2 hour longer, weigh my foods, eat out less, start running, not munch as much, ride my bike further, work on portion control...The list is never ending to change my ways and improve my habits.

So what do you think? You can so do it girlie!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! :drinker:

xoalyssaox

First off...

What's your problem? <~~~~ LOL I mean "What IS" your problem?

Mine was that I starved myself M-F, went to eat and ate too much on the weekends when my family was home. Also, lack of activity.

So figure out what is going on with you. What is causing you to stay off track? What are YOU doing to sabatoge yourself? (Dr. Phil says that!) Anyway, so....Whatcha think?

Are you setting goals too high? I know I did. I started off thinking that I was going to lose 40 pounds! Now I realize that I was setting my goals too vauge, and there is more to it than just 40 pounds shed. I needed to set a goal to drinnk more water, walk 1/2 hour longer, weigh my foods, eat out less, start running, not munch as much, ride my bike further, work on portion control...The list is never ending to change my ways and improve my habits.

So what do you think? You can so do it girlie!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! :drinker:

OK so.. let's see my problems...

1. I eat junk, and its always in my house cause everyone else eats it (but they are skinny...sigh..)

2. Will try not to eat...then eat alot instead. Once I start eating I have a REALLY hard time with portion control...

3. I have no self control when it comes to food..which is strange cause I am a recovered anoreixic/ bulimic..

4. I always focus on losing 30 pounds? Should I set my goal at 5 at a time?

5. By the end of the day after chasing my son around all day..I am too tired to exercise.

xoalyssaox

What do you really like about yourself? Flaunt that. It won't fix all those times you feel terrible about how you look, but it certainly helps.

And you are still here-that is positive-give yourself some credit! Changing one's behavoir takes time and a lot of hard work.

I like my face..thats about it..

Marla64

Well, Sweetie-- I think you're being way too hard on yourself. I just looked at your pictures and you're a beautiful, young mother!! And I know me saying it is way different than YOU feeling it. That's part of our problem, isn't it-- we're always harder on ourselves than anybody else.

Having an ultimate goal of 30 is great, but if it helps you to take baby steps, and make mini-goals, go for it. Tell yourself 5 pounds by, say, Halloween-- something reachable. Give yourself mini-goals each day. "Today I will not eat chocolate-- " or chips, or whatever-- try and eliminate one favorite junk food at a time. I gave myself a very achievable goal of 55 pounds by my next birthday in June. I set the goal this past June giving myself a full year to lose the weight. Having a date in mind keeps me motivated, but it's not a nutso, unrealistic goal.

And finding time to exercise with kids is tricky, indeed. People say all the time that chasing kids around should somehow take care of exercise needs-- NOT. Maybe put your wee one in a stroller for his naptime and take a long walk while he sleeps. You killed two birds-- he naps, you exercise. Food for thought-- whoops-- did I say food? Aackk!

If nothing else, try to see yourself as your son sees you-- he doesn't see 30 extra pounds-- he sees his beautiful mommy. And that's what we see. In time, I pray you will see that too.

Have a great day!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

arewethereyet

What do you really like about yourself? Flaunt that. It won't fix all those times you feel terrible about how you look, but it certainly helps.

And you are still here-that is positive-give yourself some credit! Changing one's behavoir takes time and a lot of hard work.

I like my face..thats about it..

You like your face???? I LOVE your face!! Honey let me tell you, I am 47 and look back at the 20s and wish I had enjoyed who I was, instead of being down on what I thought I should be.

You are a work in progress. You know if you had treatment for bulimia that the 1st step is recognizing you have a problem. Now you are SEEKING answers, that is totally awsome (would have said RAD but jeez I already told ya my age!!)

Who is in control of the grocery buying? IF it is you then gradually add good foods, while deleting the bad. I wish I had taken control when my kids were young, it may have kept them from all being obese at some point.

I had to start by planning my food. I had 4-6 meals in the fridge in the morning. I had my breakfast 1st thing-had to gag that down for a while. yogurt/fruit/cereal topping.
I wouldnt have to think about it.

Also I had to have a lot of protein. If i eat 4 oz of chicken I am not hungry for hours..

I am proud of you for seeking a change, you can do it!
:flowerforyou:

PrincessLaundry

OK so.. let's see my problems...

1. I eat junk, and its always in my house cause everyone else eats it (but they are skinny...sigh..)

2. Will try not to eat...then eat alot instead. Once I start eating I have a REALLY hard time with portion control...

3. I have no self control when it comes to food..which is strange cause I am a recovered anoreixic/ bulimic..

4. I always focus on losing 30 pounds? Should I set my goal at 5 at a time?

5. By the end of the day after chasing my son around all day..I am too tired to exercise.

In my opinion...You might be biting off more than you can chew at once! How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time...How do you change your lifestyle? One bite at a time.

I always jump into things with both feet full steam ahead. A month or so later, I don't see perfect results so I give up. Well this time I decided to take it one bite at a time by setting small goals. Smaller than the 5 pound focus. I'm talking TINY steps.

This is from my blog on setting small goals:

---

I had a hard time just jumping in with changing my health. I couldn't figure out how to "just be thin!" Finally my husband reminded me 'how to eat an elephant' and I realized this would actually take some work. Thinking of going on a diet is so overwhelming, so I thought of my self project as “healthy changes,” not a “diet.” I resorted to setting up small achievable goals, giving myself one or two weeks to change each habit. Once I felt good about it, I moved on to the next goal.


1. Stop the hate! Quit pointing out my lumps, bumps and flaws. Practice thinking I am a hottie!

2. Do not feel guilty about eating food. Food does not equal fat body, overeating and lack of activity do!

3. No guilt for eating food and drink more water.

4. All the above and eat only one snack each day.

5. All the above and make healthier food choices.

6. All the above and jog in place for 1/2 hour three times a week or a beach run/walk.

7. All the above and not eat out as much.

8. All the above and not eat as much as hubby.

9. All the above and think of new ways to get my kids moving with me.

10. All the above and eat healthier when we go out to eat or not as much of my favorite foods.

11. All the above and one snack max per day.

12. All the above and pack lunches for hubby and kids.

13. All the above and keep track of the foods I am eating (which brought me to logging on the www.myfitnesspal.com).

14. All the above and set a obtainable goal weight.

15. All the above and weigh my foods.

16. All the above and stay within my food and fitness goals.

17. All the above and push my workouts to 4 times a week for 45 minutes.

18. All the above and work to put family on a healthy track for food and exercise.

19. All the above and make a list of things I have always wanted to do!

20. To be continued…

---

pdxmomof2

I am right there with you. I have, just in the past weeks, finally been ready to really do this. I had to realize why I really wanted to do it. None of us want to be fat but it has to be about more than just not wanting to be fat. I want to be fit. I am tired of being too tired at the end of the day to make time for me. That , I contribute to too much weight on my body. I dont want my BMI to read OBESE! That is an aweful word! I want it gone! I dont want to follow in my fathers footsteps and die of a massive heart attack at age 55 because I started doing the right things too late in life.

I personally have 60 pounds to loose so I broke my goal down into 15 pound increments...Then I picked a reward for each 15 pounds I loose. I didnt put a date on it. I cant do that to myself , it is too unrealistic for me. I have been doing that for ever and none of the weight came off or I wouldnt be here now.

1st 15 pounds- buying new running shoes
2nd 15 pounds- buying new workout clothes(I figure I will need them alot by 30 pounds of weight gone)
3rd 15 pounds- get my hair cut and colored(I dont do that often enough so this way I have a reason too!)
and finally that last 15 pounds- new outfit from head to toe

I am finally really excited about meeting these goals and it keeps me less focused on the 60 pounds and more focused on a smaller goal! Cater your goals to you and what makes you happy and is within reason for your situation!

Good luck! I joined in March and it took me this long to get here. It works different for everyone! Do what is best for you and you only! Sounds like you have gotten alot of really good advice from alot of really good MFP'ers!

Amy