Don't hyper-focus on weight loss...

JulieF11

Weight loss, when needed, is a very healthy goal. But please note that you are who you are, no matter what you weigh. This is kind of a blessing, but it can be a little hard to swallow when you have been focusing on weight loss, and only weight loss, for so long that one day you realize you lost focus on some of the attributes that made you truly beautiful inside.

I've been on the Crisis Care team at church and I deliver meals about once a month or so for years. I used to have a different heart when I did it. I had no idea that delivering those meals, had recently only been my way of feeling like I was a good person. I mean, I am a "nice" person, but I've been so focused on "me" that I have become a little less of the person I'd like to think I am. This time, when I got the email asking for help, I really wanted to "not" reply. I mean, I have been wanting a fence in the yard, new clothes that fit, etc... I'd like to get some bike shorts, some more work out clothes, heck I could really use a tummy tuck... or maybe a massage to congratulate myself for staying focused... but no way could I afford it! I have a lot of wants on my list that I can't get because of the lack of money... I wondered why I'm always be the one to deliver meals and donating left and right. I could really use a little saving! I almost didn't reply to the email. We got another email with even more requests. Finally I gave in and thought I'll just deliver one simple meal and get it off my consciousness. When I heard of this woman's need, I decided she needed more than a meal, she needed enough groceries to feed her and her kids for a week at least.

Today I delivered groceries to this lady. She has stage 4 cancer. She's dying. She has four kids, three still at home with her. She is hurting financially since she now lives on Social Security, at about $600/month. She has made her rent, but her contract is up at the end of next month and the complex is now asking for $600/month for a one-bedroom. This would leave her with no money left for phone and groceries. Anyway, she has to find a place to live that is closer to $200/month. That will be a miracle, right? Yes.

Well, I got to talking with her while putting away what I had purchased for her. I felt so uncomfortable I really wanted to leave, but it was apparent she so needed a friend to talk to. You see, I was just going to deliver the groceries, and head off to my next to-do item on my check list. Once I spent a few minutes listening to her story, putting the groceries away, accepting her many thank yous, and trying to think of any helpful suggestions I could, I finally got out of there and into my car. As I drove away, I couldn't help thinking about her situation and how blessed I am having a loving husband, healthy kids, a house over my head, food to eat, etc... We're not really well-off, but I started to realize how spoiled rotten I've been, thinking about all the "extras" I want.

I realized I've been hyper-focused on weight. I weigh myself each morning, almost first thing, and hardly think of anything else, except if I'll get time in for my exercise, what I'll eat, responding to the message board, etc.. I had lost what is most attractive about me... what makes me truly feel good about myself. It's not just giving each month, it's about making a difference in others lives. It's not going through my to-do list and just making sure I do something charitable. It's about what I do AND why I do it. No more doing things to make myself feel better. From now on I'm focusing not only on becoming healthier, but I'm going to prioritize and make sure I live a life where I'm proud to be who I am.

Just in case you might be hyper-focusing on weight loss, I hope you too can re-prioritize and find out who you want to be, and be it... all while still becoming healthier. There are so many hurting people out there... and life is short. If you died today, what would people say about you? I don't think anyone would care about what I weighed. I'm searching for a good balance in life, and hope you can too.

RREert

What a beautiful point you made!

katie_rn

Thank you for writing this and for sharing your experience. We all need an experience like that to make us realize what we really value in life and how fortunate we are. The holistic approach to healthy is the ultimate goal, overall well-being in more way than just size. Thanks for reminding me bc it is really easy to get lost in the race.

soccermum75

I loved your post. thank you. you are a great person and a great friend.:flowerforyou:

sbbangs4

Julie, I read your post and it is very true. You know the thing that impressed me the most about you was your reading for free in a bookstore just because you enjoyed doing it. your reading books and recording them for the blind...your being involved in the dog rescue. You are awesome and so much more than your weight. You are extra special with or without the weight.

synthetiquecindy

Bump!

Great post.

MrGonzo05

Yep. I did this because I wanted to improve my life. And that's exactly what I did.

I need to be careful though, because sometimes I attack achieving a fitness goal or weight goal full force. It's given me great results, in a short time. But I need to be cognizant of balance.