I'm as wide as I am tall...

AnnaLynnV

I'm as wide as I am tall...
Posted on 06/11/2011 by AnnaLynnV

I'm starting again.

Starting this time is harder, because in 2006 I lost 168 pounds and since then I've gained it back. Heartbreaking for me.

And its taken me this long to come to terms with what I did to myself and to forgive myself for gaining all that weight back.

It took so much energy and dedication to lose all that weight. I was mortified and sooo embarrassed when I gained the weight back.

So many people were so proud of me and were amazed that I lost so much weight and told me how great I looked, how happy I looked.

I was able to exercise, walk any where I wanted, wear the clothes that I had only dreamed about wearing.

I gave away all my "Fat" clothes, so as I gained more weight each week, I didn't have anything to wear. I was depressed and so sick of myself. How could I let this happen?

We had major financial difficulties the end of 2007. Two foreclosures and bankruptcy. Our financial health was gone. Our credit score in the toilet. Our financial future and dreams down the drain.

So, I ate. And ate, and ate. I was so angry and ate some more. I was in denial and ate some more. I felt better in the moment of eating - but when I couldn't stuff any more down - I felt sick and horrible. I was hungover every morning. I had headaches every day. But every morning when I woke up, the first thing I asked myself was what was I going to eat today?

This routine has gotten me no where. I weigh 348 pounds again and am sick, tired, miserable, depressed, and desperate.

So, I am starting again. I know how to lose weight. But I have to be strong enough to change the way I deal with emotions and anger. I need to remember that it takes time to lose the weight I gained. And, I need to be nice. To myself and everyone else too.
I plugged in my weight, my neck, waist and hip measurements. I am 5' 8" inches tall and I am 5'8" wide at my hips. Time to stop being square and start living again - out of the box.

mabug01

You will get the motivation here on MFP. Congratulations on making the choice to fight back!!

kellyrorie

You did it once, you can do it again. I have faith in you! Emotions are such tricky tricky things
great job on finding the resolve AGAIN and making your decision to do it AGAIN. Most people don't even do it once
Good luck and and prayers from me!

StormChaser217

You sure did lose a lot back then . I am sure you can do it again , just keep in mind that this time you are keeping all of it off .

jean1058

Friend me! I'm certain we can be a good support to one another.!

The fact that you are here, that you put out your truth for everyone to read tells me you are READY to begin again.
Stop beating yourself up and love yourself. We all have our reasons for eating. And eating is a necessity for survival, so......

EAT HEALTHY. Eat for nourishment. Get comfort from us.

Look forward to chatting with you as we walk down the path together!

onmyweightohappiness

Welcome and good luck!

Josephine237

Sorry to hear of your financial losses and weight gain. I think you need to give yourself a fresh start. The old life has passed and a new life is about to emerge. Everything is yours for the taking. Just step forward into a new way of living and don't look back ...
you can do it and you have all the rest of us to cheer you on and you can cheer others on too!

ImCeltic

You CAN take care of yourself. It is good to forgive yourself and to start new again. Congratulations to you for being strong and doing that. We will support each other and make it through this lifelong journey, and get better and better at taking care of our health. I'm glad you friended me tonight. We will take care of our weight loss together. I, too, went through a great deal of financial strife. My husband is now on year 4 of being part time employed after a white collar career. Our finances were extremely challenged and we went through financial troubles ourselves, so I understand part of what you have dealt with. We were both unemployed at the same time and that was simply terrifying. But money is just money and somehow financial difficulty is easier to deal with than my difficulty with food. So let's encourage each other through positive steps each day and turn our habits and attitudes toward healthy exercise and diet. Take care, my friend.